Movies, Pirates and Pirate Movies

So let's see, the movie moguls and the **AA types are screaming that theatre revenue is down from 5% to 9% (depending who does the reporting) over last year. And they are, of course, blaming piracy.

Now I love going to the movie theatre to see a movie. A good movie. A few months ago, I managed to get 20 $5 movie theatre passes because I spent at least that much a year on the theatre.

Haven't used any of them yet. No reason to. No movies I would be willing to spend the cash (or coupons) on.

And why should I? Over the past few years, the movie mills have been slavering at the teat of new technologies: DVD, Pay-Per-View, Video on Demand. So instead of either a) seeing it in the theatre or b) hoping, after a year at least, that it will be released on VHS, I have a plethora of mediums to choose from. So going from most expensive to least expensive (but also from release date on) here are my options:

1) Full price, first run theatre
2) Second Run theatre
3) Purchase the DVD
4) Rental
5) Video on Demand
6) Pay per view
7) Premium Cable movie channel
8) And (maybe) on regular broadcast TV

So why, if I don't want to go to a specific theatre at a specific time and pay $13 plus snacks (making it $25 for one person) should I feel guilty for not going? I have plenty of options. And working in the business (okay the distribution end) I know for a fact that the movie companies get their cut for rentals, PPV, VOD etc. And they are very aggressive at getting the movies on your television.

But the most significant reason I simply don't go to the theatre is the audience. The morons who chat like they are in their living rooms. The cell phone talkers. The idiots who ask what's going on to all and sundry. Because they are easily confused by today's intricate plots, subtle characterization and unpredictible story lines.

So with the frustrations of the theatre, the easy and cheaper access to several media to see it after release, not to mention there just isn't anything worth seeing lately, why should I go to a theatre?

And I don't download movies. Not much point really. The risk is too high that there's something malicious hiddin in there somewhere. Or it's corrupt, or it's of very crappy quality. Or I may get sued.

Yes, that is a deterrent for me. I have really, really bad luck when it comes to stuff like this (remeber, two tickets in 2 hours?). Hell, I'd get sued for downloading an old episode of Gilligan's Island, forget about a full length feature film.

So here's my recommendations:

1) Chop theatre ticket prices by one third. And the snack bar prices by half. Then people may be willing to show up. And I could tolerate the twenty minutes of commercials.
2) Actually enforce some of things we took for granted in the theatre (being quiet, turn off your phones etc). I am more than willing to script and animate some very biting commercials for this. when was the last time you saw an usher in a theatre?
3) Stop making tired old crap. Indie films are getting more and more attention the past few years. Take a little risk and fund some of these folks.
4) There is nobody on the planet who is worth $10,000,000 for twelve week's work. You can reduce the cost of production by using cheaper actors, who will do just as well as the 'A-list' celebs.
5) Release movies over the course of the year. The summer blockbuster is dead. Why do studios insist on fighting for the consumer dollar twice a year when they can release something good in the spring? Moronic.
6) Reduce DVD prices by a couple of bucks. Really, it costs pennies to produce one. Get it into the price range of an impulse buy rather than a day's wages.
7) And for that matter, drop the price of those DVDs that are considered 'small yield'. $50 for 'The Seven Samurai' is insane. There are alot of films I would love to get on DVD but just can't justify spending the money (and I seriously consider downloading them).

Times are changing folks. Change or die. And if you think it's bad now, wait a couple of years. Imagine a market where the competition isn't the other big studios, but the small group of individuals who put together a full length feature film in their garages, basements and backyards and sell it for $2 a pop online. SFX? No problem, I could cook up some myself. Editing? Hey digital editing suites are coming included on most operating systems today. Actiing? Hells, I've seen better on stage at my local playhouse (and in the office for that matter). As for scripting, well, writers are a dime a dozen nowadays....

So Ya Want Juicy, Huh?

How does this grab ya?

Er, it was a photo of me. Real sexy. Dammit, musta broke Blogger again....

Fricken' Cold

Argh. I can't shake this damned thing.

I'm fine for a day. Then I'm sick for a day. Then I'm okay again until I try to do something, and my stomach grinds itself into knots. Damn and blast.

But for the first time in months, whn I woke up the sun was actually above the horizon at a decent degree. Which is always a bonus. And it also means 'Spring Forward' is coming, and it takes me a couple of weeks to adjust again.

It's Monday, which means it's eye-candy day at the gym. Yay! But it's also an abs and legs day. Boo! It's the most boring of my workouts and produces the least results. Damn flab.

Spore, Hangover and Coffee

First and foremost, I get accused of being a geek-enabler. Video, games, movies, books etc, I loan them out, a knowing, evil smile on my face as I know have made a healthy, creative and vibrant person waste a colossal amount of time on geeky pursuits.

But sometimes it works the other way. The Lemming sent me this.

Oh. My. Gods.

Now if I had a rating system for games I haven't played and haven't been released, it would be, from lowest to highest:

Never, ever will this hit my hard drive.
I may play it if the CD comes embedded in a box of Cheerios.
I'd play it if someone gave it to me.
I may pick it up when it hits the bargain bin.
I'd be willing to pay full price for it after it's released.
Heck I'll pick it up the day of release.
Wow, I'm pre-ordering that!

And now a new category: Holy Crap, I will kill, maim and torture to get my hands on a buggy alpha release of this!

And I'm hung-over today. Bar after work, a hockey game and then a bar after the game. Eeesh. Not much of note actually happened, but what the heck, a night out with a two-day hangover never hurt anyone.

Coffee. Coffee is key....

Ill but not Bad

So I'm getting another cold. Yesterday was hell, as you feel it creeping up on you, your nose getting more and more 'liquid', your intestines clench etc.

So I went home, sucked back a liter of juice, a couple of Vitamin C tablets, a pot of Echinacia tea and went to bed at 8:30.

So I'm stuffed up this morning but over-all feel okay. Work will fix that though.

No, not very interesting, but sometimes I forget just how much a good night's sleep makes you feel. Obviously, I didn't even start playing GalCiv2.

Hmmm.... half an hour before I need to go to work.... maybe a couple of turns....

Correction

Actually I just went over it again and am getting a $311 refund.

Never mind.

Death Carries a Calculator

So guess who just did their taxes?

There's Death, there's Taxes, and there's also Death by Taxes. I owe a grand. Which ain't bad after the first crack at it had me owing over $2500.

Yes there's no time like Tax Time (cue cheesy 50s instructional film music). The smile and far-away look in the eye as Joe Taxpayer contemplates what he'll do with that fat refund check. Maybe he'll buy that boat he's been eyeing! Or that glitzy new American Made automobile! Why, he'll be the envy of his neighbors! And just imaging Bob's expression when Joe pulls into work in that fine automobile. Of course Mrs. Taxpayer may have a little surprise herself! Good thing that tax return can pay for that new crib! Congratulations Joe, and Joe Jr.! (show film flickering, the sound warbling and the lighting burning a hole through the celluloid.)

So after that wonderul bit of news, I tried to figure out how much more in RRSP contributions I needed to make to break even. Turns out I would have to double my contributions. Who needs to pay rent? Maybe I can carjack Joe Taxpayer and live in his Caddy.

As for RRSP contributions, I don't buy it. Sure, it takes off a little bit of tax, but they ding ya later, for more if you get a decent return on investment. They get ya comin' and goin'. Not to mention that RRSPs are a bit of a gamble. There's no guarantee of any kind of returns, and all that needs to happen is another bubble 'n' burst in the next thirty years to bring any of those 'investments' to rock bottom. And I'm no good at investing. I'm the kind of guy who puts a buck in the change machine and gets back three quarters. So I'll just spend it now, and hope my kids will supp...

Uh oh.

It's All About Pacing, Baby!

Sunday morning. Nothing like a Sunday morning to drink a pot of coffee.

So yesterday, went to the gym, ate at Burger King (which I do once in a while, then regret it), washed some clothes, cleaned the carpeted half of my place, and played GalCiv2 for a bit.

I also started watching the Firefly series again. Man I love that show.

Ran into a guy at the gym who did time in Fort McMurray (you do time there, there's no other way to express it) when I was there. Kinda weird in that I keep running into people from my sordid past these past couple of months. See what happens when you break up with a girl who books your social calender solid?

Hmmm, maybe I should explain about the cleaning routine. You see, my apartment is basically in two halves: the living room and bedroom is the 'carpeted half' and the kitchen, bathroom and hallway is the 'linoleum half'. Over a weekend I'll do one half per day. The carpeted half tends to get messy: books (okay, mostly comic books) various doodads I've collected since the last cleaning etc need to be collected and put somewhere. And this weekend I officially ran out of space on my bookshelves. So I need to buy another bookshelf. And find a place to put it.

Now the 'linoleum half' is just a pain in the keister. Without a dishwasher, I just do dishes once a week (not like I cook or anything, just coffee mugs, the occasional bowl and maybe a plate or two). And of course there's the mopping. It's not like I leave everything until it starts to evolve new lifeforms (er, maybe once in a while) but I just find cleaning such a chore. Which is probably why it's called a chore. I hate chores.

So that brings up today's plan. Try and resist the urge to start up GalCiv, maybe watch another episode of Firefly, clean the bathroom, then get it dirty again, head to the gym, pay for those tickets, drop off the dry cleaning, do the dishes, clean the kitchen, mop and maybe do my taxes. Exciting, no?

Yup, I'm a swingin' bachelor.....

As Promised!

Linko! to a photo gallery from the party last week. Minus the traffic tickets.
Heroes

Fuel Status Marginal

Yawn...
Okay I've had no energy this past week. Granted my gaming habits may have something to do with it, but I've been walking around in a light pink fog all week, even when I got to bed on time. Maybe I had a nervous breakdown and didn't realize it?

Looks like a chores weekend. Cleaning, laundry, taxes (ugh), dry cleaning and paying the bills. Fun stuff, I know. So those of you who live vicariously through me (you know who you are) may want to take the weekend off.

Gym can wait until tomorrow though.

GalCiv2: AKA Software Insomnia

Okay, I'm writing a review of Galactic Civilizations 2: The Dread Lords because I'm to go to a play tonight. Understand that for the past week, I've been coming home from work, putting a Pizza Pop in the microwave and starting the game. Next thing I know, it's way past my bedtime, the Pizza Pop has congealed in the nuker and I still can't hit the 'Quit' button.

And if I do that tonight, I won't make the play.

GalCiv2 is a classic 4X (eXplore, eXploit, eXpand and, um, eXfoliate) turn-based strategy game along the lines of Masters of Orion, the Civilization series and, well, GalCiv1. And since it's in space I of course had to try it out. So after a digital purchase and download (c'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Download already you piece of ....) I fired it up and got invaded by another civilization before the first year had ended.

Alright, check the forums for strategies. Nope, too new, everyone is learning. Okay go through the tutorials. Okay I think I got the grasp of this. Start a new game....and Earth is invaded by aliens within a year. Alright read the actual manual. Oh so the default spending is 50% but to get everything working at top capability, max spending to 100%. Ah okay. Start up another game, crank up the spending, go into debt by the end of the year, have my colonies rebel by the end of the second year and assimilated by angry robots by year 3. Doing better at least!

Start up a new game, do stuff to get my population up and be happy by researching those technologies and I have 5 colonies humming along by the end of the year, okay, now let's... oh wait, another race is demanding my lunch money. Screw you alien scum! My, what a big fleet he has, and here's me with no military to speak of....

And that's the game really; you need to balance spending, popularity, technology, efforts into building economic output, military, your influence on other races, your influence with your own people, deal with moral dilemmas (dilemmae?), negotiate, lie, cheat, steal and outright beg from other civilizations including the genetically-modified warrior squirrels (no, I'm not kidding).... There are so many things to balance!

Which is great!

One of the really neat things in this game is the construction of your ships. You can customize things like weapons, defenses, sensors etc, but there is also a huge catalog of cosmetic add-ons you get for free to make your ships as cool as you want them to be. this is turning out to be a huge hit for the fans out there. I've been avoiding it since I got City Of Heroes and played with the costume creator for an entire month. Bloody addictive personality.

The AI is really solid (almost too solid at the harder levels) and the devs make no apologies: a computer can micro-manage much better than a human (especially me). And although you can repeatedly hit the 'Next Turn' button, every time you do, the uneasy sensation that you are forgetting to look at something grows...

The learning curve is pretty steep, and although the manual gets into the mechanics, it takes some time to figure what does what (and what side-effects they have) to get a civilization going, and for some that will not be an appealing feature. Even when you do get over the hump (which I did recently by dominating the universe, not by force, but by selling cheap trinkets, pushing diet soda, and making sure out technologically enhanced pop-stars make regular appearances on alien worlds. In other words I destroyed their cultures with my own! I felt a little dirty, but dammit I won.) there is still alot that can happen with random events, planet placement, races, events etc etc. No game plays the same twice and, here's the main thing, no strategy will work every time!

So as a game it's pretty damn good. Add to that, there is some very tongue-in-cheek messages (one race invaded me because I tried to sell them diet cola), some really great graphics you have a winner.

Now there are some cons here. The interfaces can get a little confusing and may not work as well as expected. But I'm putting together a list for the forums, which by the way, the devs are very active on and have already implemented some suggestions in a patch or two. It's a typical indy-developer viewpoint getting more and more presence: they know who buys their games, they know there will be problems, and they know they are fixable. This is a refreshing change from the big-corp method of 'Behold, our great and innovative sequel! Tremble and be amazed!' attitude.

So overall, this is a fantastic, turn-based strategy game in a day and age where the genre has been declared dead. It's not without it's warts, but frankly it's a helluva lot more polished than many of the 'offerings' from the big boys over the past couple of years. So it looks like I have a new source of sleepless nights for the next while (besides the other reasons).

Oh, and if any of the devs are reading this, who came up with the confirm message for quitting to be "Are you sure you want to quit? A few more turns won't hurt..."

Bastards.

this is not a post

I know, I said pictures. They are coming, probably on the weekend.

Galactic Civilizations 2 is a good game.....

Introducing: "The Red Light"

Well, since Blogger is not working for uploading images, here's a link to one:
The Red Light!

Busted

Okay, I'll get some party details and photos on later today, but first a little story and the pre-party events.

I drove into work yesterday so I could get home in time to get ready and make the party by 7 pm. Because of the odd street arrangements where I live, I cannot turn into my street from the main road during rush hour. It's a left turn against traffic.

But to get to my place then, you have to drive up four more blocks and wait at a stop light with no left-turn signal. So I usually end up waiting for four or five 'cycles' which is just a pain in the ass.

However, just before the turn-in to my street, there's a pedestrian signal with a full red light. If someone is crossing, I usually take the opportunity to turn left.

Yesterday, the cops were waiting. $115 ticket. There were only two of them, they busted the next guy, and while I was waiting to be written up four more cars made the same illegal turn.

So, I get home, swear a bit, get ready for the party and leave. On the way to the party I noticed there were cherries flashing nearly every second block with people pulled over.

Half way there I see them in my rear view mirror. I got pulled over for tossing a cigarette butt out the window. Fine for littering: $115.

But town hall assures that the Calgary Police do not have a ticket quota.

Right.

So add to that the hotel room ($167), the drinks for the evening ($60), the stuff I had to get for the costume ($150, but it's all reusable for biking, roller blading etc).

Grand Total: $547. For one night.

If I had cashed in the change in the jars I keep on my dresser, that would have been a decent week in Mexico.

But at least I had fun last night. Now I can't afford fun until May.

Pictures coming forthwith.

This Station is Now The Ulti..hack..kah...kah....blech

Ohhh crap this cold/flu hit me like a ton of bricks last night. Lost my voice, my head feels like a balloon on a stick. I sound like Darth Vader. The phlegm kind of spoils it though.

Called in sick this morning. Then I crashed until noon. I'm going to have to actually go outside to get some good drugs....

Gym was okay last night, just another day. Looks like the day before was an just a blip.

Okay, put on clothes, start car, drive to drug store.

Oh Doh (sniff)....

Argh. Looks like I've caught the bug that has flattened many a co-worker today (including the Lemming).

I do not want this to spoil the party for Friday, even if it means I have to take two days off of work.

Women. In. Tight. Outfits. Drinking.

Hehehcough.....cough, cough, cough.....hack! Bleh.....

On a slightly more jovial note, I picked up Galactic Civilizations: Dread Lords last night. From what I got to play (after downloading the the much dreaded Stardock DRM software) it's a very cool game, what Masters of Orion 3 should have been.

So, in spite of being ill, getting a new game and the fact we have a tonne of snow here, which brings out the loonies, I'm still going to the gym.

Can't disappoint the ladies now can I?

More Gym Experiences

Huh.

Did I hit an 'easy on the eyes' threshold or something in the past couple of days?

Get this. Went to the gym today after work (okay after dinner). And, good lord in heaven, it was hottie central. I think they've been recruiting.

Again, I'm on the bike reading my book. A very cute, very tall girl asks me if she has to sign up to use a bike. I tell her no, it's a free for all and she then says 'Great!', sits on the bike beside me and starts asking me about how long I've been there, how busy it gets etc. We then continue to say 'Hi' to each other as we cross paths during the non-cardio workout stuff.

Then while taking a break between sets on the bench, a girl looks straight at me and tells me she loves my T-shirt (the one that says Every time you download music off the Internet, God kills a kitten) and asks what I think of hers.

It said something, can't quite recall what, I got distracted. Again, smile and 'Hi' the rest of the night.

I'm not reading anything into this except that they were being friendly. Just understand this never, ever, ever happens to me!

I am really looking forward to the party on Friday. And going to the gym every waking hour of every day for the rest of my life.

Bored....

Bored, bored, bored, bored.

No games to play, if I look at another programming manual today my brain will leak out of my ears (and it leaves stains on my shirt).

TV sucks. Too late to watch another Kurasawa movie.

I could have a drink.....

Nah, school night.

Bored.

Okay someone ask me a question. Anything. Any and all questions will receive a thorough, honest and complete answer.

Ho-hum.

Oh, going to a costume party this weekend. Put together a snazzy outfit. The theme is '2nd Rate Superheroes'. Made up a character called 'Red Light'.

Tights are involved. I will post pictures. You have been warned.

Booooooooored......

When the hell did Saturday Suck?

Yikes. Okay here's the sitch.

Went to gym today, as I usually do on a Saturday afternoon before I get groceries (yes I am a man of routine). While on the bike, I was, as I always do, reading a book. In this case, I was finishing up A Long Way Down by by Nick Hornby.

Much to my great surprise, the girl beside me asked about the book. I told her it was okay, but I though Hornby's last few books haven't been his best. She told me she agreed, then we started chatting about other authors (Irving Welsh, Chuck Palahniuk etc).

Then she asked me out for coffee.

Stunned!

So anyway, we arrange to meet at a place we both knew at 7 tonight!

Man I hate being stood up... Even cancelled poker for that. Didn't get a phone number (and didn't give her mine).

Java For Gaming? Maybe in 1990

So I've been perusing Killer Game Programming In Java. It looks like a great course for learning game programming (they cover alot of stuff and how you actually design and code it) but when I look at screen shots for 3D rendering... well it seems a tad archaic.

So looking at some "3D" games on the web written in Java, I have to conclude that game programming won't get further than mobile phones unless they do some serious stuff with 3D. So I'm not sure how to proceed with Rocket Surgeon. Maybe I'll work up the model first and see which way to adapt (Java or C#). Have to learn both anyways.

Post 50!

No I'm not 50 years old.

The funniest thing I have seen. Ever

15 Minutes of Slightly Less Obscurity

Ooo! Oooo! OOOOOO!

No not that.

Regina is reading my poem on her podcast tomorrow!
Regina Lynn

Not Gina Lynn, which is another entity entirely. Don't ask how I know.

Man it's cold outside! No gym for me. Just listening to a podcast, eating the nearly-expired food products and surfin'.

Fer example: Consumating. No, it's not a dating site, it's just a total waste of time. So in many ways, it's similar to a dating site. In my experience anyway.

Countdown to V-Day

Hehehe.

I'm single on Valentine's Day!

No Pressure!

Although I have two application pushes, two committee meetings and laundry to do, so there's pressure just on a different gasket.

Which may blow, by the way.

Okay, I know that's not much to report, but I've been leading a very dull existence lately.

Ooo! I learned a good come-back if you meet a girl on Valentine's and she asks why don't have a girlfriend:

"But I just met you!"

I may have to go out just to try that! Although it may work in the gym....

Samurai Theatre!

Haaaaaaaiiiiiiiii-yaaaaaaaaaa

Boo-ya! The Kurasawa Samurai collection of DVDs hit the door today!

Man I forgot how long Seven Samurai was. 3 hours! Cool!

Okay, okay, have to pace myself......

Grrrrrrrrrr.......

Okay, slap Yojimbo into the player!

Kampai!

Online Order, Snail-mail Return

Gah! Damn and blast.

Probably the most frustrating thing about ordering online; which provides an almost orgasmic sense of instant gratification is that it takes bloody forever for stuff to arrive.
Example: On the 3rd I ordered yet another Java Book for work (okay to learn about Java and help along the Rocket Surgeon project) and for fun classic Samurai movies!

And it still hasn't cleared the sortation plant in Ontario.

Damn and blast!

Now I have ordered stuff before and payed the extra for the "super-duper delivery" which is supposed to hit you mailbox in 3 days.

What it actually means is, you may get it a day ahead of schedule.

And with my luck the book will show up on Friday and the DVDs sometime next month....

Augh!

Okay work is getting nuts.

Everyone is busy and overloaded, we are really short-staffed and now we're snapping at each other over the dumbest things. I freaked out on someone who made me a great pie this past weekend. Lemon meringue pie! Dammit.

The kicker is I work with almost all of my friends in town here and it's just getting so bloody stressful. Gah, I need a job, I need a real job! I need a job that pays. I need a job, I need a good job...

One that satisfies my artistic needs.

Not Lost, But Certainly Confused Weekend

Hey All:

Not much to report this weekend (after the last few that's a good thing). Drinks on Friday, drinks (many, many more drinks) on Saturday watching Extreme Elimination Challenge. No wait, that's not it.

There's two guys in an Octagon. They pummel each other. First one to make the other guy's eye bleed wins. You know. Good fun had by all!

Sunday I went to a Rocketmen! tournament, which turned out to be me and another guy who I'm very sure was the inspiration behind Fear of Girls.

Won't be doing that again any time soon. I think I'll just stick with playing with myself.

Er...

A Wise Lemming Said to Me...

So.

While out and about today (well, okay, while walking to a bookstore at lunch) Stray Lemming mentioned something very interesting regarding my, well, shall we say efforts regarding Lavalife et. al. He said that for someone who previously who was going to 'batch it' for a while, I was putting alot of effort into starting a new relationship.

Huh.

And looking at my posts for the last month, he's right (okay I knew he was right when he said it, reviewing the site just confirms it). So I asked myself, "Self! What's up with that, man?"

Good question, so here's some possible answers.

Sex

Well, duh. But you don't need to be in a relationship to have sex. In theory. So I've heard.

The Relationship Guy

Yeah, I'm a serial monogamist (barring the five year period known as The Drought). So maybe I just don't feel comfortable when I'm not with someone. Something about that rings true, but as stated before, I like my independence as well. So I'll give it a little bit of credence.

Playing the Game

I resigned my commission with, er, I mean, I cancelled my accounts for the MMOs I was playing. And if you think about it, Online Dating is alot like an MMO. It's massive, it's multi-player, it's online!

And of course you raise your skills (obviously I rolled a critical failure this weekend, yikes.), there's PvP (all the other guys on there) ganking (the other guys who move in with their superior, nay l33t abilities) and the end-game "raid" (and with any luck...multiple "parties").

Not to mention playing solo is unfulfilling.

What to do?

Back off for a while. I have several projects... well, not on the "go"... that I want to work on. Plus the whole reconnecting with lapsed friendships etc.

That doesn't mean I won't, if the opportunity arises, decline a party invite for a quick instance run.

Okay, ran that analogy too long.

Stray Lemming = 'Poo'

Condolences to Stray Lemming who, according to him, feels like 'Poo'.
Message Ends

Rocket Surgeon: Scope Creep

Okay, yet another delay on the project.

With all the whoop-de-do at work already reported, looks like we are going to get much more heavily involved with Java (we've been almost exclusively a MS shop for years) with some new tech coming in. So since I'm now on the Integration team, I have to bone up on Java.

I did take some in school, but very little. So after some surfing I picked up Head First Java to start off with and Java After Hours for more advanced stuff.

Yes, yes, I'm focusing on gaming stuff. But if you can program games, you've pretty much got this coding thing sussed.

So ultimately, P:RS will be a Java game, which also means it will be playable on multiple platforms. Which means that people I know will actually be shang-hai'ed into being beta testers. Fortunately I do know some QA people...

Booze
Now those who know me know I like to have a tipple now and then. For those who really know me, "now and then" is actually hardly ever. Mostly because I drive. Alot.

But I think a stiff one for "medicinal purposes" is in order. I do notice I sleep better and wake up (as opposed to "rise from the grave") a tad more refreshed. So a nightcap will be integrated into the regular routine.

I know that's not extremely interesting but January is boring, in general.

Answerologists RULE!

Kudos to all the folks at Answerology who gave me an honest answer to the 'What the hell happened?" question.

I'd say the general consensus is I came on too strong. Which was probably me overcompensating for being to 'stoic', although a few opined that she could have handled that better as well (story of my life). Mea Culpa, once again.

And my ex called tonight (at the point where I had finished my 4th vodka 7). So we're having lunch so we can exchange the last of the stuff (I have some play tickets, she has my apartment keys).

Kinda weird hearing from her. But trust me, getting back together is not gonna happen.

I Take it Back, It Does Suck

So the girl I thought I was doing so well with blocked me on Lavalife.
Don't know what I did wrong. We exchanged many emails, a few phone calls, and everything seemed to be going swimmingly. We had great conversations, shared compliments, found out we had alot in common.
I should note that during our last phone call, her phone went dead. I had asked her out for coffee next week the day before, but she had to go out of town for work for a week.
So I sent the following:

Technology, whaddaya going to do about it?
Anyway, we got cut off before I had the chance (ie built up the confidence) to tell you that, well, I think you're pretty amazing. Now here's me being forward this time :)
Even after a short time, I can tell you are a great person, funny, bright, fun, positive outlook, quirky. Just brings up a huge sigh and goofy grin on me when I think about it.
So anyway, if I seemed a little energy-less, well, I can't wait to meet you, and a whole week... that's like, what, seven days? Argh! Heheh.

So needless to say I'm looking forward to hearing from you :)

She read that and then blocked me.

I give up.

A Poem

Okay I haven't updated in a couple days because, well, it's been a dull couple days.

So here's a poem:

On Lavalife, I set up a profile
To each girl, I sent a wry smile
But with no reply
I figured I'd try
AdultFriendFinder, for a while


Sent this to Regina Lynn who said she'll use it (maybe) in an upcoming Podcast.

Work, Play and Poetry

Alright no specific topic today, but a couple of rants, maybe a rave, and at least one serendipitous moment.

Work

For those in the know, I had previously spewed alot of venom and vitriol about my current place of employment, which I subsequently removed from the blog. This was because I was scaring even myself.

But sometimes things swell to the top and explode. Like volcano. Or a zit. Or like when I forgot to put the top on the blender when making a smoothie last night. There's another analogy here, but I'm single and only have a vague recollection.

Now there has been no less that 3 reorganizations in the past year. And from what I can see each has been progressively motivated by politics. The last one is (I'm speculating, the same way that a person speculates that falling off of a 40-story building does not bode well) that this last one was purely political in nature. My new manager is looking to build up head-count as well as get himself promoted (for the third time in three years). So I have a new boss, who was once my old boss.

This current re-org has forced the usually shuffling of people from one cubicle to another cubicle. Now my previous fattening-pen at least was by a window, was away from the high-traffic areas and allowed at least a modicum of privacy.

Now, not so much. I'm on the corner of an intersection, which has already become a 'hub' for standup meetings.

Some of you are saying 'so get some headphones!'. Which I have. But they don't help because I inevitably get tapped on the shoulder for my input (I've been with the company seven years, which makes me an old-timer). Not great for the concentration.

So the second thing is, I don't trust my boss (who was my boss two bosses ago). He's a smart guy, but frankly his outlook on development is the complete opposite of mine: he wants to deliver something, anything to keep the clients happy. At the opposite extreme is myself, who has no problems delaying a project if it doesn't meet quality standards. There will be a definite wailing and gnashing of teeth over this.... He's short term, I'm long term. Which means I'm left holding the bag on the 'oversights' that inevitably occur when he's in charge.

That, and it looks like I'm stuck working with 25 year old technology again.

There's more about work I want to gripe about, but I gotta save something for later.

Play

Okay, a reader (by which I mean a person I physically threatened until he read my blog) had asked me to describe the phone conversation and the girl I was talking to. I would but that's personal for her. I don't want to reveal anything about people (unless it's nasty and I don't like them) without their knowledge, I'll only publish my own thoughts on the situations I find myself in.

That being said I called her the next day. Now I actually thought that this was good thing, as I do hear (okay I read on Answerology) that women hate it when guys wait too long. So I thought I was blazing new trails and opening up the lines of communications between the sexes.

Instead, I think I came off as clingy. Well, ball is in her court now. What do you think the odds are she'll just pick it up and move to the next pitch (you know, the one that has the much more handsome, tanned, tennis instructor).

Hmmmm, maybe there's a self-confidence problem in there somewhere. I'd find out more, but worried I could be right.


Project: Rocket Surgeon!

... is delayed. Not because I'm lazy (well, not entirely anyway), but because MS has started another online course on C# and game design, but using 3D graphics!

It actually is a much, much better course than the first. So I looked at what they did, and I did, and pretty much scrapped what I did.

So the new game is to take Rocketmen! and turn it into a real-time 3D space battle! Which means I have to change the rules as presented by the original game, but also means I can simplify them greatly. The sessions continue for the next two weeks, so I'll take those before I delve into my own code. Besides, they provide a pretty okay 3D engine. And I can make my own 3D models!

Poetry

ummm, actually, I'll save this one for later. Let's just say it involves a limerick, a blogger who knows much, much more about technology and sex than I, and, well, I still have to find out.

Check for gills! Shawks!

Okay, Maybe it Ain't So Bad

I'll be damned.
Just got of the phone with a fantastic girl I exchanged emails with on, well, Lavalife.
Yeah, yeah, I know I made disparaging comments on on-line dating, my experiences with on-line dating and people who on-line date. On-line.
Sometimes I forget that you gotta go through a lotta dross to find the gems. Now I know it's too early to know if things will work out at all, still haven't done the notorious face-to-face experience yet. I always do something dumb like forget to shave, get tongue tied, or mention comic books or cartoons far too often (ie once).
But I gotta say, we had a great conversation, she's very interesting, different, had a much more varied and broad life-experience than me. So needless to say, I'm very intrigued.
And she has a wonderful laugh....

And if she ever, ever reads this blog: I'm sorry about the cracks I made here about silver jewelry and astrology! I was going for the funny! Ah crap, blew it again.

Workin' Out is kinda Weird

For those who actually care, I've been going to the gym at a pretty regular rate over the past three months. While the gym is a natural place to get yourself all fit, it's also an amazing place to people watch.

Captain Eight-ab: Tall black guy with no waist at all. Spends more time posing in front of the mirror than actually working out

The Pec-inator: Very, very obvious pectoral implants. I'm surprised he doesn't keel over.

Spaghetti-Strap Frankenstein: Body-builder, wears those really dumb 'shirts' which are just two shoelaces holding up a dish towel. Has very obvious face cosmetic surgery and hair-implants.

The Hotness: Fake and bake tan, gotta-be fake bosoms, wears next to nothing and is supremely aware of who is looking at her.

Dynamite Joe: Every see Million Dollar Baby? Well, I swear to the gods, the dumb, skinny kid everyone picks on in that movie was inspired by this guy at my gym. Nice enough and polite, but talks about his workout through his entire workout very, very loudly!

Roadrunner: She's on the treadmill when I get there, she's on the treadmill when I leave, every single time I'm there! She must do a marathon a day!

Up-Close-And-Very-Personal Trainer: He's helping the girls 'work-out' by giving them advice (asked for or not) and looking down their sports bras the entire time.

The Geek: Wears T-Shirts with cartoon characters and weird sayings on them, always cleans his bench even if he just uses it to take a break. Always has a hard-bound book with him.

The last one is me, of course.

That's It!

I've had it up to here with on-line so-called "dating"!
I mean c'mon? There's 900,000 people where I live. If half of them are women, that's 450,000 women!

Say even, I dunno, 10% of them are in a 'date-able range' that's like, 45,000 women at an age I would not consider myself a cradle robber or robbie! Lot's of choice!

So say, because i'm 37, about 15% of them aren't married, cuz I don't date married women. Er, actually with the luck I've been having, any, really. Anyway, that's still 6,750 women! More than enough!

Okay, granted I don't want to date a single mom, so that's gonna reduce the number by about another 90%, add that I don't want any kids, that's another 90%... that's 67 and a half.... now I can be pretty picky, looks-wise.....

Ummm....

Okay, I'm moving to Toronto. Or New York. Or ...

Going Along Swimmingly

Okay since I was chastised for not blogging every single day, here's a little something.

Now when I have dreams, I have dreams. Full technicolour and surround sound. One of the best reasons for me to go to bed (or at least to sleep, me and the couch are like this).

So here's a snippet from last night.

I'm just off the coast, it's a steel-grey sky. But on the surface of the water is a town, except the streets are water. It's fully populated, I can see people on the sidewalks, gardening etc.

Swimming down these streets are myself and, below the surface, a group of killer whales. I feel this is very cool and exciting, although I'm a bit nervous about being mistaken for a baby seal. It's a whole pod of them, including a couple of calves, but I'm just swimming down the street with them. They know I'm there (and not in a "Oh look! A seal!" kind of way).

So I pop up onto the 'sidewalk' to have a break. Two of the orca surface and turn into very cute women. One, dressed in brown shorts, a brown shirt tied and the midriff and short light brown hair with brown eyes, the other dressed in a black t-shirt, light-grey tights and with long black hair and steel-grey eyes. I know they are elemental representations of Earth and Sky (stormy) respectively. We have a great conversation (can't remember about what) and I had the exact same feelings of exhilaration, enjoyment and nervousness as when I was swimming with them as Orca.

They dive back into the water, turning back into Orca, and I continue swimming with them. But I don't feel nervous anymore. End of dream.

In a Dry Season, no Rain Will fall

Okay I have reached a very subtle, but quite significant threshold in a newly-single person's life.

The time since break-up has now far exceeded the longest period during the relationship that I haven't had ... relations.

Now if I'm like most of the freshly solo people out there, a certain frustration, nay a desperation comes into play. You find yourself short-tempered, grumpy and even, dare I say it, frustrated for no apparent reason. Granted in my case it can be hard to tell.

Suffice it to say, that at this mental plateau, it is extremely annoying for a singleton to hear their downstairs neighbors 'making love' both enthusiastically and at great volume.

And in this particular case, the mental (and physical) discomfort is compounded an order of magnitude when your downstairs neighbors are, in fact, lesbians.

All's Quiet on the Western Front

Well except for Thursday, where I once again had gastro-intestinal discomfort. You don't need the details.

So today's random thoughts are advice for ladies posting their pictures on the Interweb datin' sites

1. A picture of you kissing a guy as your profile pic may be sending the wrong message. Example: here's what you have to better than. Now blanking him out in Photoshop or similar and putting 'Your Face Here' sends the right kind of message.
2. Having a picture of flowers, kittens, your dog, rainbows etc as your profile pic says 'I am too embarrassed to put my picture up'. To a guy, that's essential a road sign saying 'No Stopping'.
3. If you do put up a picture of yourself, please make sure it's recent. I've seen quite a few mid-thirties gals having really nice pics. The Hypercolor sweatshirt sort of gives away when it was taken.
4. If you are going to use the services of a 'Glamour' photographer (ya know, sexy poses in skimpy outfits, roaring fireplaces and a bear skin rug, that kind of thing) make sure you get your money's worth. Some of the so-called 'Glamour' shots make women look like tranvestites with way too much makeup and some of the most awkward looking positions that no human should be able to do without some serious chiropracty.
5. Use a picture where you are smiling, not: scowling, looking like you are about to throw up, obviously drunk out of your mind, giving the finger or yelling at someone outside the frame.

I'm pretty sure the same could apply to guys, but I'm not into that sort of thing. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Porno!

That should get me some traffic....

Anyway this is just a random musings post. At work we had a software security product demo by a guy who used to work for VeriSign. He mentioned that the whole reason the company got off the ground was the Internet porn boom. So I started thinking about porn (it was a really boring presentation).

I have to say that beyond my teenage years I've never been a huge fan. Sure I've watched (or rather, used) pornography but a couple of things always struck me

1. Really, how many angles of people having sex can there be? And with that kind of extreme closeup, you could probably use latex Muppets and it would look the same (although I understand there are segments of society that has that sort of thing as a preference...)
2. .. and with the volume of silcon enhancements (both male and female) it's getting darn close to that.
3. The sex always seems more mechanical than erotic. And so bloody predictable. And you know how it's going to end...
4. At the back of my mind there is always one thought: I'm not getting any and those two (or more) are paid for it. It's their means of getting a paycheck. People arrange for them to have sex with little or no effort on the performers own (until the camera rolls). Imagine the following scene on the set:

Man With Hair Implants: Excuse me? Are you Mr. Scoreseasy? The director?

Mr. Scoreseasy: Why yes! And you must be Woody Tripod. Ready for today's
shoot?

Man With Hair Implants: Sure am! Who am I working with today?

Mr. Scoreseasy: Well, Sonia Slicks in the first scene, then the Bosom Twins
in the pool scene. And Lisa Lollypop in the final scene.

Man With Hair Impants: Hey I like Lisa, she has some great recommendations
from her book club!

And can you imagine what would happened if you called in sick because you just don't feel sexy today?

Shameless Self-Promotion

Okay now that I've actually starting to tell friends and complete strangers about this blog, readership may skyrocket into the double-digits! Pass around the link, for nothing more than the laugh you get when they say "And you know this loser?"

Tuesday

Never could get the hang of Tuesdays....
Monday. Everyone hates 'em, there's even a song about not liking Mondays. Now for me, Mondays are okay, you're (presumably) rested from the weekend, with a faint patina of hope on your soul. Tuesday rolls in, and that small reserve of energy you've built up over the weekend has been expended, and you still have to do whatever it is you do for four more days! Bleh.

Breaking More than One Bad Habit
Alright, here's what happened. Went to a little convenience store by work in the afternoon to get myself some snackage. Now today was supposed to be the last day I allowed myself to have smokes: only 5 today. So I go into the store, get a bag of Hickory Sticks and a lotto ticket, and I walk out with a pack of smokes without even realizing it! It had become part of the daily routine: snack-food, stupidity tax and nicotine. The nice old guy working the register doesn't even ask anymore, I don't question it. I'd chuck 'em but they are $11 a pack.
So the revision is, no smoking at work. Good thing Stray Lemming moved to another floor or he'd kill me. Or me him.

So I Didn't Go See George RR Martin

He has a book-signing today in town. Was going to go, but decided to duck out. Okay, lame out. But I have my flimsy justifications.
When I was getting me English-as-a-first-language degree, I met a lot of authors. Many. And almost all of them struck me as stuck-up elitist jerks. So I have a natural derision of auteurs. Now I'm not saying Mr. Martin is a stuck up effete intelligentsia type. But authors, as a breed, make me snarl. And I'm trying to become one, which is probably another 6 months on a couch in a well appointed office....
Second reason is I'm not a big autograph fan. I know I could get some coinage on eBay, but I don't whore myself out that way. Much. And besides, I think if a writer has anything interesting to say, they will say it in their work.

On-Line Dating

Looks like I provoked an emotional response on Lavalife. Sent a smile, got one back. Somewhere in between she had updated her profile in a way which made me pause a bit (I'm picturing cheap silver jewelry, chakra crystals and palm readings). But I wrote her anyway. Meeting people online is just like meeting people in real life, except with more spelling mistakes and bad grammar. So we'll see what happens.
PS the 'adult entertainer' is back on LL, this time with two profiles. Wonder if she remembers me? And if she would be pissed that I was the one who squealed on her.

Coda

Did laundry, dishes and cleaned up the non-linoleum half of my apartment today. Also looking at the mirror, there's some muscle tone forming 9course it may just be tumor). Screw the self-help books, if you want to improve your looks and living conditions, just be single! Which of course obviates the reasons you want to improve yourself. Hells, if I wasn't concerned about, er, things, you know... I'd gain 80 pounds in cheeseburgers alone. And leave the wrappers everywhere!

How To Install a Mother-#&%*ing Board

So I did manage to install my dual core, 2.2 Ghz motherboard with 2Gb of RAM.

• 10:35 am Finish pot of coffee
• 10:36 am Locate Windows XP Professional SP2 CD
• 10:37 am Find huge scratch on CD
• 10:58 am Finish burning new CD from ISO
• 10:59 am Disconnect Computer from nest of cables at back of box
• 11:00 am Reconnect computer to download latest BIOS updates from motherboard manufacturer
• 11:06 am Disconnect Computer from nest of cables at back of box
• 11:08 am Attempt to find clean surface to do work
• 11:11 am Clean off kitchen table
• 11:12 am Crack Case
• 11:13 am Remove power leads and IDE cables from motherboard and attempt to remove same
• 11:23 am Locate final screw holding old motherboard in case
• 11:23 am Remove Hard Drives from case
• 11:23:02 am Try not to have a cigarette
• 11:33 am Place new motherboard into case
• 11:45 am Find find last screw under stove
• 11:46 am Really try not to think about having a smoke
• 11:47 am Reconnect drive IDE cables and power cables
• 11:49 am discover odd red liquid on new motherboard
• 11:50 am attempt to find Band-Aid
• 11:58 am go to car to get first aid kid
• 12:02 pm use kleenex and duct tape as handy replacement to bandaid
• 12:05 pm plug in mouse and keyboard, power and network cable into case and switch on
• 12:05:30 pm try again
• 12:06:20 pm try again
• 12:09 pm try and find manual for new motherboard
• 12:11 pm read manual, discover motherboard need another power lead: 12v ATX four prong square lead
• 12:12 pm attempt to find above lead on power supply
• 12:18 pm Remove power supply
• 12:20 pm Re-install power supply
• 12:25 pm shower to go out to get 12v ATX four prong square adapter at computer store
• 12:50 pm decide to check power supply one more time for lead
• 12:52 pm plug in 12v ATX four prong square lead
• 12:53 pm turn computer on
• 12:54 pm reverse installation of mouse and keyboard, restart computer
• 12:55 pm smile as BIOS boots
• 12:55 pm swear as BIOS report over-clock error
• 12:56 pm reset BIOS to factory settings and restart computer
• 12:57 pm Windows loads!
• 12:58 pm install drivers as prompted
• 1:25 pm restart computer
• 1:26 pm attempt re-install of graphics card driver
• 1:31 pm remove graphics card and reboot
• 1:34 pm reinstall graphics card and reboot
• 1:36 pm have a cigarette
• 1:49 pm arrive at office and look up problem on Microsoft Support site
• 2:12 pm look up problem on Google
• 2:13 pm find resolution on Google boards
• 2:33 pm get home and install non-Microsoft driver for video card
• 2:35 pm set desktop to max resolution
• 2:36 pm remove sound card and restart
• 2:37 pm re-install sound card and reboot
• 2:44 pm tell landlady that I will keep the swearing volume to a minimum
• 2:45 pm invent new alcoholic beverage: Vodka, Red Grapefruit juice and Ginger Ale, christen new drink a "Morgan Webb"
• 2:55 pm reinstall original sound card driver
• 2:56 pm install sound card patches
• 3:10 pm restart computer
• 3:11 pm Windows prompts that OS needs to be re-registered due to hardware changes
• 3:12 pm try and find registration key
• 3:18 pm realize that key is on USB storage device
• 3:18:10 pm realize that USB storage device is plugged into computer at work
• 3:19 pm have another "Morgan Webb" and cigarette
• 3:22 pm find business card that has registration key written on it
• 3:23 pm re-register Windows
• 3:24 pm Blog it!

So yay! I have my new-kick ass machine up and running. Only problem now is that it doesn't recognize my CD burner or DVD drive. Another time, after I have another "Morgan Webb"

Nixon's Baaaaaack!

Last night someone told me that I look like a younger Richard Nixon. I totally blame this on my Dad who insisted on calling me 'Tricky Dick' growing up.
That is all. Have to burn some tapes now.

Quadruple The Readership!

First off, props to Stray Lemming (see sidebar for link) for expanding readership to 4! I got a few laughs, which is the ultimate goal of this whole endeavor (for today at least).

Heart of Gold
So I did get the new computer 'heart': dual core CPU, 2 gigs of memory and liquid cooled motherboard. Ready to rock the 3D animation world! Just gotta drop a grand to get the software... Will be installing this weekend, and considering my ineptness, you probably will never hear from me again as I fry both the old and new systems.

Example: My computer has been shutting down when doing CPU intensive tasks (ie gaming). So after blowing out the small civilization of dust-bunnies in my box (they had advanced beyond the Bronze age to the scavenging Gold from Circuits age) it was still happening. So after I ordered the new hardware, I noticed that the CPU fan wasn't rotating very much. $10 bucks later (after buying a new CPU fan) the problems stopped. So I dropped a grand for nothing. But I'm still excited about the new gear: I'll take the old motherboard and get a new case and hard drive for more work-related programming.

Rocket Surgery Delayed due to Rising Health Care Costs
Still working on it, but translating code to thought process is more intensive than I thought. Putting a graphic object model together, so first entry will be when I get a first draft done of that.

A Novel Idea
So last night I had a great idea for a novel. Because this is the internet and my follow-through is horrible if not downright criminal, I won't be describing it here. However I will write at least one chapter by the end of the month to hand around to friends.

This is me: great ideas, too lazy to implement. Worked for 37 years so why change now?

The Shack-Up Question: A revisionist history
So I've been giving some thought on a previous post on me and relationships. You may recall I expressed some distaste at the idea of moving in with a significant other (when I had a significant other). Further contemplation has concluded two things:

• I really don't mind the idea of living with someone, I've done it before and wasn't too bad (the living together part anyway). As long as I can do what I want to do (with some understandable curtailment of volume of course) I don't see a problem.
• At the time of the post, I subliminally knew that this would not happen with my S/O at the time. Her continuous derogatory remarks on what I did in my own time may have had something to do with that. Plus I didn't get much "me" time when living in separate domiciles, living under the same roof wouldn't have helped matters at all.

Coda

That's about it for now, I'm actually looking forward to updating this site (positive re-enforcement does wonders) on a semi-regular basis. Oh and for those so inclined, here's one of my profiles from a dating site. Enjoy!

First off, call me Moby, everyone does. Glad ta meetcha!So let's see, start with physical:6'2" eyes of bl...er, brown.Hair is brown, with a little salt on the sides, and a slightly receding hairline.

Did I mention I'm 37? I'm 37 (thus the salt and hairline, hey it happens!)

Body type is thin but working out quite a bit (when you're single you seem to have the time, but you knew that already).

I'm a computer programmer (so gainfully employed, I understand that's a "positive"). Living and working and playing (but not quite as much as I want to) in Calgary. Close to downtown, no suburban wasteland for me!

Hmm, let's see, no kids, trying to quit smoking (this is hard, but I keep on keepin' on).

Personality wise, I try to balance the smart and smart-azz sides of myself, with varying success. I'm a huge reader (just drop waaaay too much at bookstores), like skiing, biking and recently got bit by the travel bug! (Trip to Mexico and 2 to Italy in the past two years!). Oh yeah and movies, lots of movies! From cheese to foreign films, only ones I'm not thrilled with are slasher films (but zombie films rock!) Akira Kurasawa all the way!

Oh yeah, I'm a geek. Have the T-shirt and everything. Get really weird looks when I wear it to the gym!

So I'm looking for..... er, well, I'm trying not to build up too many expectations. Someone who feels the same would be great: no schedule to keep, just take life (and people) as they comes. Almost everyone says sense of humour, but if you can quote Monty Python, I'm already smitten (I did say I'm a geek, right?) So anyway, there I am, an open book (with full colour illustrations and small, easy to read words, just the way I like 'em).

Until We meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

MMO No Mo'

Okay just cancelled my accounts with City of Heroes, City of Villains, World of Warcraft and There (though to be honest I forgot I even signed up for There).

So now your asking yourself 'Why Should I Care'? You shouldn't but it's my damn blog.

MMOs really thrilled me at first, the interaction, the huge worlds to explore the open ended gameplay.

But lately it's just been a grind. CoH/CoV just doesn't have the variety to keep my interest anymore. WoW, well after waiting 30 minutes in queue just to deal with net-kiddies is just frustrating. And There, it's a 3d chat-room. Never been much for chat-rooms, although the do have some amazing avatar technology. With voice, when you say something, it is able to good a good job at making your avatar speak with the same facial expressions.

So gaming now will be single player (unless I get a FPS with internet play). Right now, that's Fate, Space Hack, Fable (but almost done). So I'm gonna go pick up some more games (no idea what though).

On the tech side, my CPU keeps overheating, even after putting in 2 additional fans and scrubbing out the heat sinks. Time to upgrade anyway. Dual core baby!

Ummm, yep, still single...

Happy New Years and all that

Man I feel sooooo hungover.

And the weird thing is that I didn't have anything to drink. Which means I'm actually just sick.

Fuck.

The Camera Broke

Yeppers, that's me. Ah well, so much for anonymity.

So I finally got the Season 2.0 (which makes me wonder about 2.1) of Battlestar Galactica.
Ohboyohboyohboy!

Granted it wasn't until 8pm, so I've gone through the first disk. 2 disks and something like 6 hours to go!

Screw New Year's, I'm geeking out.

Oh and by the way, why didn't anyone tell me about Morgan Webb?!? I caught the show and bleh, but man. Hotness!

Yep that's me, single guy, 37 years old, likes computer games. Go figure.

Chrsitmas is Over! Shut Up!

Actually this will be a relatively bile-free post.
So that's it, the presents have been unwrapped, the nog has been nogged, the tinsle on the tree has lost it's sparkle (if not its edge) for another year.
So this year not much for phat lewt, as usual but I'm okay with that. I'd prefer the exchange of cards and small tokens over the soul-crushing need to find that perfect gift for that special someone and, in return, getting socks. So I got everybody socks or a reasonable facsimile. Maybe I am cheap. Too bad.
One really great thing was a chance encounter with some old friends of mine. After the usually 'how are you? you look great! / haven't changed a bit!' routine, numbers were exchanged. After the holidays, went over to their place for a few beers and to watch a PPV hockey game and catch up. So I am reforging those social links, even though the live 2 hours away :)
They're having a New Year's Eve party which I may go to.

So Merry Christmas, have a Happy New Year, let's all get together and drink lots of beer!

And do expect a rant/rave/rambling at about 2am Jan, 2006. 2006! The future is now!

For a Depressing Time, Date Online

Oi gevalt.

Okay as part of being a singleton/singularity/singulation kinda dude, I started up my profile on good ol' Lavalife. And so far, it's a very depressing experience (again)

Profile: Or Try to Be Sexy in 500 Words or Less

Okay you always start by trying to do a fun, witty, charming, sexy essay on yourself and what you are looking for in a 'mate'. Despite my writing aspirations, I simply cannot write a cohesive paragraph about myself. Just can't. You try and make yourself sound funny (which I am) fun (which I can be for a specific subset of fun), intelligent (without proving the Pythagorean Theorem) and sexy (yeah, right).

Honesty = Chastity

I don't want to have kids. I'm really, really reluctant to go out with a women who has kids. At age 37, this now eliminates the dating pool by 90%. Add to that, I am actually honest and say I smoke on my profile. Not 'Prefer not to Say', not 'Trying to Quit', not 'Socially'. So there goes another 9%. I am making quitting my New Year's resolution because of this. Health be damned, I need a little sumthin'-sumthin'. I am not going through another 5-year drought.

Women My Age Don't Want Men My Age

Harsh but there ya go. Most women between 32 and 40 are looking for a guy 10 years their junior (at least according to the profiles I clicked on). While one part of me can see why this is happening, when I look at women's profiles 10 years my junior, they state very explicitly they want nothing to do with 35+ men. The other part of me thinks that mid-life crisis happen to both sexes.

Saying Hello is a Turn Off?

For those not in the know, most of these dating sites work by people buying credits (or similar). With these, you can email, message etc those you are interested in. So I bought the mid-size package. In 22 emails, I had one response. She was kind enough to send me a link to her site, which listed her rates; hourly, for an evening or for an 'all-nighter'.
Other than that, nada. No responses from emails (except one, see below). Not even a courteous 'no thanks' or even a 'fuck off creep!'.

Smile!

Lavalife does have one free feature. You can send a 'smile' and one of a selection of notes (most of which I could not see myself saying to a live person). This is of course to show your interest, with hopes that they 'smile' back (with equally cheesy phrase) . Then you can spend your credits with confidence. One tactic is to shotgun them: send them out to anyone and everyone in hopes that a few hit the mark. I'm all for gun control. I try and be very specific and discerning with my smiles. No smiles back though.
Now I do understand that happens alot. What I don't understand is, alot of women say 'send a smile!' or 'write me!'. You do and nada. Again, I'm not indiscriminate or go just be the pictures: I read the profiles, compare compatibility and if its seems like it's a good enough match to start a conversation, I smile or send an email.

Now I did get a smile, out of the blue from a girl from out of town. We sent a couple of emails, but then she asked me about the whole not wanting kids thing. I was honest. Then she blocked me.

Do You Think He's Prettier Than Me?

So now I'm thinking I might not just be a congenial, kinda goofy-looking geek. I'm a monster, a hideous, illiterate, slavening, primal-urge-driven monstrosity. An Oh Henry! bar floating in the filter of the gene pool. So I did what any guy would do. I did a search on the guys. What's the competition like out there?

Dear god in Heaven.

The search comes up, it's like a buffet from a friggin' Firemen Beefcake Calendar! Muscled up, tan guys who can actually string a sentence or two together. No wonder nobody sends me an email back. The only smiles I get insist that the men show them a picture, but they don't bother to supply one (bug, big, bells go off at that). I'm friggin' doomed to an eternity of celibacy.

I'll have to see what those rates are, and if she takes credit cards...

It's Christmas! Shut up!

Okay. Yes. I know I said I'd start up the Rocket Surgeon site. I know I said I'd do stuff, but it's Christmas, the annual sinkhole of the Time/Money continuinuinuoum.
Okay that and I have discovered more wonderful wastes of time.
Board Game: http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/ti3about.html Twilight Imperium. $100 and 3 hours just get the damn pieces outta the sprues. Joy! Rapture! Xacto-blade cuts! Conquering spaaaaaaace!
Okay dammit I like Space sci-fi. Lord of the Rings is wonderful and all but I need big frikken lasers to keep the geek mojo spinnin'. And George Lucas has not helped in this regard with Episodes I-III (Star Wars: I Ran Out of Ideas) , which is ironic 'cuz he started me on this path.

And it won't get better. Aside from going to Mom's place for Carbo-Load 2005, tomorrow (the 20th) is geek day: Serenity DVD and Battlestar Galactica season 2 DVD in stores. I'll be damn lucky to make it into work once I get my mitts on those sci-fi treats.

My Blog Is Down

So I'm attempting to republish

Uh yeah

Hey all (okay, you two).
Again, I have been lax on updates here. But Project:Rocket Surgeon is underway, I just need to put some notes together. So far, I've done a preliminary object model based on the rules and abstracting the parent-objects out. Very rough at the moment, and will chnage quickly. I just need to organize my thought.

On other fronts, well still single (no shocker) but coming to grips with it. Not like I'm moping about or anything, but trying to perform damage control on friends whom I've lost contact with over the past three years. Kinda tough but doable.

So lessons learned:

1. Don't abandon friendships because a s/o demands so much of your time
2. Physical attraction is a must, follow the rules (which I have yet to publish)
3. Common interests are a must. While people may have interests in common, it's more important that they have sensibilities in common.
4. Don't date Daddy's Little Girl
5. She has to make me laugh as well

Rules. Right.

Okay I came up with about 10 a while ago, based on previous relationships. Now I'm keeping some, tossing others, so in no particular order:

• Face makes or breaks
• Smile makes the face
• Smarter makes me harder
• Must have a career, not kinda maybe planning one someday, if she has to
• Cannot be taking long-term medication for a mental disorder
• Must like at least one of: sci-fi/fantasy, comics, games or misc geeky pursuits
• Must have geek-like tendencies
• No Daddy's Little Girls

And Homer's First Rule: No Fat Chicks! Fat means morbidly obese, I like curvy wimmins!

Hopefully Project Rocket Surgeon will go online tomorrow.

Oh yeah one more thing http://www.answerology.com rocks my socks off. Having fun being a know-it-all, getting some good advice and fun place to be!

Stage Three

Okay, two weeks post-breakup.

A buddy of mine says I have to go through Stage 3, which is apparently a Friends reference. Stage 3 is going to a strip club.
Now I think I've been to the peelers once in the past three years. And in that interval something strange (at least to a fogey like me) has happened.

The majority of the clientele were female. At the strip club. With nekkid wimmins on stage.

While I certainly think this is a good thing, when the hell did this happen? Most were coupled up with guys, but there was a stagette there as well, and not just dropping in for a drink. And alot (estimates show about 70%) were good looking. Also note that very, very few were over the age of thirty. One or two that were with boyfriends looked distinctly uncomfortable (which I have seen before) but most were right into it: throwing loonies, wooping it up. And the strippers, I mean exotic entertainers were right into it as well, paying more attention to the ladies than the men.

Which makes sense because the ladies were the ones shouting appreciation and chucking money at the posters held between the thighs and buttocks.

So once again, I was born too late!

Girls, sorry I mean women, my age simply don't do that. Or play video games. Or understand the appeal of cartoons. And if they do, they're taken. Or 15 years younger than me.

It was me who said he wanted to be single right? Well I still am glad I am, but feelin' a tad older than I thought I was.

Need to find me a copy of Dirty Old Men For Dummies. Or something.

Singularity

There will be a slight delay on my Rocket Surgeon project. My girlfriend and I broke up on Saturday.

Its not for the reasons of the previous post, then again it is. The kid thing threw her for a loop (when we had met she felt the same way as I, but seems to have changed her mind).

That, and every couple of weeks she would get very upset that we weren't living together yet, even though we both agreed to wait until she was done school in May.

Other reasons as well, but boil down to we really weren't into each other anymore. Another just friends scenario, but the first one I agreed with.

So it was mutual, but not 50/50. More like 75/25 with me being the 75. 10% of that is her constantly calling me cheap despite the fact I always paid the lion's share when we went out. Not to mention (okay I'll mention in) that I have car payments, student loans, a line of credit to pull down, my own tution for the course I've been taking etc ad nauseum. And I don't have Daddy to run to (uh-oh, getting a visit from the Bitter Fairy).

Post preakup blues in 5...4...3...2...

But I will start on Rocket Surgeon this week, as I have taken the next three days off of work. That and house cleaning.

Rock On ye Christian Soldiers, drinking as to War!

Rocket Surgeon in Training

Okay, as per my last post, I would like to take on the heady mantel of indie game developer.

The one teeny, tiny hitch is that I never coded a game.

Sure, I've designed games in my head, even gone as far as mapping out the mechanics on paper, but I even haven't done my own clone of Tetris. So I'm gonna put my money (which in this case, equals time) where my keyboard is.

As my 3Ds class has ended, I now have free Saturdays. I'm going to dedicate those Saturdays to building a game. Here's the rules:

• The game will be a single-client, 2-player version of Rocketmen (see sidebar for link)
• The game will be written in C# (which I have yet to really learn, and work sure as hell ain't paying for training).
• The game will only use basic top-down graphics as graphics are not the focus of this. The caveat to that is to make graphics as non-coupled with the game engine as possible.
• The game will be complete by March, 2006.

However I will not be distributing code, as WizKids Games does hold the copyright. This is an educational exercise only.

I will be blogging the experience though (separate blog) as I go long, almost live, so I'll have an intense developer journal. I'll post a link when I post the first blog.

Now, to find a copy of Visual Studio for C# I can use.. oh wait, the Borg are happy to supply one!

Here I go!

Eeep!

The PC Gap

So a couple of days ago I went into my local EB games to pick up a used copy of ICO and maybe Shadow of the Titans. Now while its rare I go specifically for acquiring console games, I did check out the PC game rack. The first and perhaps most significant thing I noticed was the amount of shelf space devoted to PC games shrunk. Alot. Like, by a half.

I think that's a pretty succinct statement on the state of PC gaming right there.

We have new consoles gearing up over the next year, so alot of the developers have been frantically developer console games. Sure, some of them fully intend to deploy ports to PC, but it wasn't so long ago that it was the other way around.

PC gamers are getting the hand-me-downs now. Which completely changes the dynamics of game play.

Now a port from a PC to console meant that the console got fewer features, primarily because of hardware limitation. You don't have a full keyboard to play with, just a controller with a limited number of functions. Graphics are hardwired, so your resolutions would below PC standard (although in some it's hard to tell if they did it right). Space was limited to one cartridge or CD.

So PC ports were essentially stripped down, bare bones version of the games.

Now it's going the other way, we have PC games that looks and play like console games, with everything that entails.

Now don't get me wrong, there are alot of platform to PC games I love, two that come to mind are Psychonauts and Beyond Good and Evil. Great games. Fantastic games. Er, I had a point here.

Oh yeah! Okay, as a PC gamer I'm looking for something with a little more depth than your average platformer game. I have a keyboard and kick-ass graphics card. I have gigs of hardrive space. C'mon developers of the world, use 'em up! Whatever happened to combat flight simulators that simulated flight?

Okay back to my original point, shrinking PC game space. First, everyone jumped on the MMO band wagon. So every shop was forced to make an MMO by their parent companies smelling huge profits (and no clue on cost) So right there, no single player RPG for you! And like I said, those who aren't building the next big thing in the MMO space are building the next big gun for the next gen console wars.

And PC gamers? Well we have MMOs. And no new games, really. Thus the shrinking shelf-space for PC games.

But I think this will (eventually, certainly not right now) be a good thing.

I've often commented (ie complained) about Big Business taking over the game space, with all the mediocrity that entails.

So what if all the big boys focus solely on the consoles? We have a gap. A gap to be filled by the indie developers. So (hopefully) we get games built for PC gamers, by PC gamers, that use the potential of the PC.

It'll be 1984, all over again.

And maybe this time I can get in on it. Here's hoping anyway.

Fluids! Dear God, the Fluids!

Okay, mee-sa sick. I mean, Exorcist ill. There's stuff being produced and projected from my body that belies description or even comprehension.
The human organism is a truly disgusting thing, especially when it's not functioning at 100%. I mean, dear God, I am getting a very poignient lessen on hydro-dynamics and sluices.
This shouldn't be happening on a Friday. That's what Mondays are for. Not promising to be a good weekend.

Jacko Gettin' A Smacko

Heheh, looks like everyone's fovorite Game Critic is being investigated by his local BAR Association.

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20051019-5458.html

Ale & Whores for Gabe and Tycho!

That's a Big Margin, Jack

So for those who don't know, here's a little background.
http://www.penny-arcade.com

Personally, Jack Thompson fascinates me. Not the man himself, but the methods he uses and the greater context of how this has been used in the past. From what I can see, he's aggressively persecuting a marginalized social group to bring attention and aggrandize himself and his goals.

It's been done, many, many times before. There's some nasty examples, but in the 20th century it was comic books, television, Rock and/or Roll music (and every variation since the birth of R&R). Now it's video games.

You see, if you go at a group that has no power, there is no capability of retaliation on their part. It's very effective, of course. The 'crusaders' appear (or try to appear) as paragons of virtue, protecting the innocent (won't somebody please think of the children!) and rooting out those who would destroy society. In a way they are right. Many of the marginalized concepts, ideas, media etc that are persecuted in this way do threaten society: they attempt to change the status quo.

Technology has always done this (going back to medieval times, crop rotation anyone?) and there has always been those who are violently opposed (Jacquard's Loom. http://www.columbia.edu/acis/history/jacquard.html) What I don't see in alot of references is that Jacquard's earliest looms were burned and Jacquard forced to flee a mob. At least that's how my profs told the story.

So here we are at the beginning of a new millennium and computers pervade every aspect of our lives. (Heck you are reading my diary from a remote location and can access this instantly. That's Big JuJu). The rapid pace of this leaves most people with a nagging, quiet discomfort in technology. Which opens up the door to doubt, which leads to fear. The thin edge of the wedge. And we nothing to fear but fear itself.

So here comes Jack.

Video games are cop-killer trainers and child-rape simulators. They mentally hurt our kids, they teach people to become mass murders. Technology, if uncontrolled by those who know better than you, will run amuck and destroy the very fabric of society. That's the middle of the wedge. The back end of the wedge is limiting use of technology. It starts with games, then moves on to other bits. like you can't record Desperate Housewives and watch it later because you gotta take the kids to soccer practice. You need to pay a fee every time you listen to a song because that's the only way to ensure you aren't stealing it. The authorities need a way to break into your computer without you knowing because you may be a terrorist. And what scares me, what terrifies the life out of me, is I hear alot of people say you should just ignore him and he'll go away.

He's not going to go away.

If we ignore him, it gives him free reign to say whatever he wants. And if those views aren't opposed with logical counter-arguments, opinion or even down-right anger, those who don't know what's going on will think he's telling the only version of the truth. And at that moment we lose. Not just gamers.

Everyone.

The first wedge is locked in place, and there's more behind it. And behind each wedge there someone with a hammer... Now the entire presumption is that gamers are a marginalized sub culture. I honestly think Jack believes that gamers are a bunch of nerdy dorks who have nothing better to do than play games in their parents' basement. That may have been somewhat true at one time. Now, not so much. You just need to watch the news and how gaming is the next big money market for media companies. there's alot of gamers out there, in all levels of society and of all ages. If gamers are marginalized, it's a wide margin.

Penny-Arcade, whether you like it or not, is a locus of gaming culture. They have alot of clout in that marginal community, and at their word, they can focus that drive very, very tightly. Their charity events raise a boggling amount of money and goods for kids, and it all comes from that 'margin'. The wedge may have, with a clumsy carpenter holding the hammer, hit a knot in the wood.

As entertaining as the situation is, I think what comes next will be a turning point in Mr. Thompson's career. His call to have Gabe and Tycho arrested crosses a certain boundary. Not of civility or even law. It's a statement that says that gamers are citizens that should be arrested for voicing an opinion. the exertion of power, any kind of power, is to be handled the fastest and most damning curtailment that society can offer. Civic arrest. If not violence, at least the threat of violence (which is basis of any police force) is what an arrest is. Mr. Thompson didn't threaten to sue, he requested that Gabe and Tycho be arrested. Even if the Seattle police don't follow up on this, even if Gabe and Tycho don't react and choose to ignore him, it sets a precedent that's dangerous indeed. More requests for arrests will come, and eventually an arrest will be made, for no other reason that someone who enjoys and supports a gaming culture can be arrested merely for supporting that culture.

And that is tyranny. Being persecuted not for what you do, but for who you are. By those who hold power. I'm watching this one with both eyes.

Been a long while, but that's just me.

Okay so I haven't been on in a while. The game reviews are still under way, but frankly I haven't had the time and/or inclination to do much gaming lately. It is time for an update though, meaning I'm in one of my 'pensive' moods.

Game Space
Not much happening here I'm afraid. I am beta testing another couple of games (can't say which, NDA and all that). I can say one needs alot of work at a concept level and the other is rocking. Not surprisingly, the former has been delayed and the latter is due out soon.
I did pick up a couple cheapo Playstation 2 games. Mark of Kri is a great 3rd person action game except it's nearly impossible to do combos, and you need to do combos. Just more practice I guess.
Final Fantasy X-2 proves why I don't like Japanese RPGs all that much. Confusing but gorgeous, so the animator in me still pays attention. However the actually game play is annoying (a random encounter every 5 feet? c'mon!) and gets me wishing for a fast forward button for the next part of the story...
The third one is Rumble Roses. I am a sick, sick little boy. A mediocre wrestling games with great ... polygons.
And there isn't much coming out that I'm terribly interested in. Since the Big Corps are now taking over the market, well I'm bored with the pablum. There are some people trying to get more organized for the small and mid-sized developer (check out http://www.costik.com/weblog for someone I hope gets huge success. I love reading The Escapist (www.escapistmagazine.com/) as they have some more professional journalistic writing than say, IGN or Gamespy.

Book Space
And for books well, I'm taking a 3d Studio Max course at the local educational instipitution, and lovin' it! I can spend (and have on numerous occassions) 8 hours just playing and experimenting. The class itself is pretty good, covering the basics to get you on your way. Since I want the deep dark secrets I picked up a couple books.

3ds Max 6 Bible: well I've tried 3 of the tutorials and only 1 actually worked as advertised, so I'm not impressed so far. However it's a thick book so I won't write it off yet.

modeling a Character in 3ds Max by Paul Steed on the other hand is a fantastic book. Essentially one long tutorial on how to model the babe on the cover it goes into minute detail on every step with lots of pics. It's also well written and Mr. Steed certainly has a sense of humour. I haven't started the tutorials yet (and may not be able to) but I've read through some chapters and it's exactly what a new 3d modeler needs.

And of course Thud! by Terry Pratchett! Bringing back the Guards of Ankh-Morpork (my favourite) it's a great read, but with most of his later books, you really, really need to read a few to get the background.

Geek Space
Okay like I said, I have been taking classes in 3ds Max. Since they are Saturdays from 9 AM to 4 PM it basically means I have another day of work, but if my other 5 were like my Saturdays, I'd never leave the office. So that's going well.

So my latest addiction is getting ships from WizKids Rocketmen http://www.wizkidsgames.com/rocketmen/. I haven't actually played yet and I've spent waaaaytoo much cash on the cards. On the upside I'm using them as models for creating my own 3ds max models and animations, so I guess I can justify it....

Yeah I'm totally geeking out on this whole animation thing.

Head Space
We with winter approaching fast, I'm slowly degenerating into my Winter Grump (it's early this year). Work is driving me nuts, but since I said I wouldn't post work rants anymore, I'll leave it for the tell-all book. However I have engaged the services of a head-hunter and am following up on contacts with great urgency so I getting my ass in gear instead of just whining (hear that Stray Lemming?). Of course I will continue to whine loudly and publicly at every opportunity.

The other thing is the girlfriend situation. Lately I've been doing alot of soul searching (my Granddad died about a month ago) and I think I'm coming to the conclusion that I want to be a single guy for the rest of my days.

I've tried the whole relationship thing a couple of times (okay 4 times) but the awful truth is that:
1) I don't want kids. Not just "I'm not in a place right now where I want kids" I mean I neverwant kids. Actually considering getting the boys snipped in that cause. I like kids, as long as they are not mine and wrecking my place. Besides, I'm 37, a tad late in my view.
2) I don't want to get married. I mean I've been to all seven of my parents' weddings (counting the one to each other twice) and frankly the whole marriage thing seems outdated to me.
3) I like living alone. My own space, my own stuff, and my own money. Relationships are expensive and with the current GF back at school I'm paying for everything. Add on top of that, she wants to buy a place together the day she graduates. She'll be neck-deep in debt, looking for work and she's hinted that if she gets a job out of town, I'm expected to follow.

And I know that sounds close-minded.

Lately I've been feeling that everyone wants something from me, but when I ask for something, it's not convenient, or not do-able right now. It's boiled down to 'I'll do what you want as long as you leave me alone after'. And that never actually happens in real life.

Like I said, the winter blues and blowing hard and fast from the north.

So yeah winter is coming, I'll be indoors more so I'll probably update this once in a while (I know, you've heard it all before).

Anyway, last load of laundry is done, have fun!

DM

Pigs!...In!...SPAAAAAAAAACE!!

Hello and welcome to another edition of no-hate blogging. Really.

This is a quick update, just to let you know I'm working on two reviews; both of them space games, both of them written by folks on the 'other side' in the infamous Eastern Bloc. Or former Bloc. I dunno, all the socio-cultural-political changes make my head spin.

First up will be Star Wolves, fighter-squadron based space combat against space bad guys. In space.Secondly will be Nexus: The Jupiter Incident which is capital ship based space combat against even more space bad guys. In space.

Yeah, I had enough of 'Ooo like, be an elf with a big bow and kill Orcs!' games. For now anyway.

Miss Piggy, warm up the Blog-Drive, we're going hunting for truffles! In Space!

PSP = Ow

Lately, my conspicuous consumption gland has been kicking in. I think it's been stimulated by the overwhelming barrage of iPod, Gameboy and cell phone (It's got a camera! It's got text messaging! It has bits that will make you look so cool!) I've been craving, nay, jonesing for a portable electronic device so I can be 'hip'. Which is the best I can do, despite that 'hip' is a term used by those who have had one or more replaced via surgery.

First obvious choice is a cell phone. Now to most this would make sense, as it has a practical use: you can talk to other people equipped with similar devices wherever you go. The downside (for me) is that other people similarly equipped can contact me at any time. Although I've deleted my previous rants on the work situation, the summary is that, if my cell phone number was ever released to certain parties at my place of employment, the damn thing would be vibrating into the next universe, DC’s The Flash-style. That, in itself, would be cool but then I would have to actually pick up the damn thing, as they would keep on calling, sending me to the next universe. And so on. Eventually I would end up in a world devastated by a cataclysmic struggle by those who worshipped the Three Stooges and those who revered the Marx Brothers. Scary.
My second choice was going to be an MP3 player (or isotope thereof). However, I'm not one of those who feel the urge to have music piped directly into their lobes 24/7. There was a significant portion of time in my life when this was certainly the case (call them the Rock 'n' Roll years). The means of delivery was a very large set of speakers (a wall of them you could say), several socially dysfunctional, hygienically questionable young 'musicians' and four or five hundred drunk and disorderly teenagers who paid $5 a head at the door, of which I took a 25% cut. Besides, a very sure way to summon someone who wants to ask me a question is to put an earphone on a lobe, so that's out.

So I reached down, way down deep into the very essence of my being and questioned what shiny thing should I get to parade around with. The words "you play games you idiot" resounded from the abyss.

Of Course! Portable Gaming!

I had seen ads for the PSP etc and debated weather I should get such an insidious time-leecher. The price was a tad out of my comfort zone and the line up of games is currently mediocre at best (at least to my tastes). However it does actually play games, you can listen to music on them and, if you really went hardcore, watch movies on them.

So I hummed and hawed over this. For weeks, the debate consumed my very soul. I surfed around for information, opinion and outright lies at work when I should have been punching code. Which is the same thing really.

A solution came when I mentioned the internal fracas to a work mate, who said he had acquired the gizmo in question and loved it. Do I want to try it out?

The next day, after I came home from work, I fired up this little black lozenge, with its ever-so-cutely shrunken controls. I only had one game, Wipeout:Pure. Now the game itself was a joy; great graphics, a challenge to race and enough variation in gameplay to keep me entertained for hours on end. And this was only one game!

The problem is, after about thirty minutes of play, both my hands cramped up so bad I couldn't even operate a mouse to check email.

Now I do not have gorilla-like mitts by any stretch. Due to a genetic mutation, my feet and hands are disproportionately small for my height. The machine's sleek design may be a detriment in this case. I found my hands constantly slipping on the shiny black plastic casing while trying to keep the weighty block steady. The controls are too close to the sides to use my palms on each edge to brace the thing. So the resultant effect was turning my hands into grotesque, twisted claws. Lord knows what long-term effects it would have on my body parts.
Other than the sinister unergonomics of the Playstation Portable (which could be resolved by creating and deploying a framework matching a normal PS controller, making it into the Playstation Luggable) I found the machine to be quite enjoyable. The unit price I'm sure will go into a comfort zone where it would be (with the sizeable memory card and accessories) slightly less than my monthly rent. I'm also hoping that someone at Sony, when faced with a class action suit brought about by thousands of wretched, crab-like creatures waving their grotesque mockeries of pincers in the air, may consider a more comfortable design rather than something that looks good in ads for the next deployment.

So it looks like I may be delving into the MP3 player world. Or maybe I’ll just purchase a set of white headphones and plug them into a block of mozzarella taped to my belt. It’s cheap and, unlike an iPod, a nutritious snack any time of day.

Okay I'm back(ish)

Alright deleted the so-full-of-hate posts and will get back to posting at least once a week.
So up and coming is my play test of a PSP, a review of Star Wolves and Fate.
More to come.

Phone Cam Redux

Yup the guy from the floor below came steaming up to my place, red as a beet, and slunk away.

I'm telling this story until I'm in the old folks home. Then Ahlzheimer's will kick in and I'll forget.

Proper Cell-phone Camera Use

Okay this is a good one.
On Saturday, as I head to my car in the parking lot of my building, I notice a cell phone on the hood.
Now this is an unusual event: it looks like it was left there, and it's obviously a pretty top-of-the line phone. It was almost out of power though, so I couldn't get past a set-up screen to get to a phone list to find out who owned the phone.
It was one of the deluxe models with VGA graphics, full MP3 capability, internal camera and calendar, the whole shebang (I found the manufacturer site).
So I found my landlady and ask here if anyone reported a missing phone. We had a couple of move-ins this past weekend so we went around to the new arrivals to see if it was theirs. Nobody claimed it.
However I did remember some people at work that had a similar phone, so today I asked around and sure enough, Brian had the exact same phone with a charger by his desk.
So we plug 'er in.
Now, the phone list had ALOT of names, mostly female. The natural conclusions were:
1) Single Female Phone with friends names
2) Single Male phone with 'friends' names

however the actual number had been deactivated so we couldn't do reverse lookup. We considered who on the list we should call, but Brian had the idea to look at the pictures and maybe see a face I would recognize from my building (4 story walkup).

So I didn't recognize the faces from the first few pictures but I did recognize a big black pick-up that frequently parks in my space. Thought of vengeance went through my head.

Then I saw the rest of the pictures.

Now, there should be a reward for finding an expensive phone. However the blackmail opportunities for a phone where the owner has photographed themselves and their lover-de-jour are nearly limitless. Seriously, makes Hustler look tame.

I've drained the battery again, posted signs in the laundry room, and so I'm waiting for someone to claim the phone.

More updates as they occur.