Non-Smoking

So no smokes for the last 48 hours, almost exactly. Okay 46 hours.

I won't go into the knuckle biting, sweat-inducing, temper-flaring moments of the past couple of days. Yes, I technically quit last week but I managed to fall off the wagon several times and a boat once. Do not attempt to go boating with a little brother who takes the position of "captain" way too literally. Cap'n Bligh ain't in it.

Besides the long term health benefits of not smoking $12.49 a day, I found (again to my surprise) there are short term benefits. As I've mentioned, I've taken up running on the treadmill and try to get in three 5-K runs a week. I mostly managed, but with a couple of two-minute "breaks" of just walking.

Today, I went the whole 3.1 miles at six miles per hour straight, no breaks. Plus I managed to up my weight on all my sets and almost get to max reps. Which is unprecedented.

There have also been some mental benefits. Capa may have noticed that I was boppin' in my cubicle all day. On the way home from work I couldn't wipe the cheesy grin off of my face. And generally I went the whole day without homicidal mania kicking in even during the drive to work. So that's good right? And maybe just maybe there has been a subtle confidence boost: I noticed I was being checked out by women at the gym and they weren't repulsive (urinating dog! urinating dog! Pratchett reference).

Now I'm still going through withdrawals. I'm chewing through a pack-and-half of gum a day and gnawing tooth picks like I have a recessive beaver gene of something. But this time it feels good and right.

Mind you all the good things above may just be my version of dead-baby-crawling-on-the ceiling (Trainspotting reference) but even if it is I'll take it.

I'll be able to afford the week in Maui I just booked for my birthday/mid-life crisis. And I won't be as embarrassed to take my shirt off at the beach. There's still the dead-white skin that is my heritage but at least there won't be as much of it.

"Doctor Horrible!"

Okay, seriously folks, go here. It'll only be around for a few days.

If you are or were ever a fan of Buffy, Angel or (and I know almost all of you are) Firefly then go get some more Joss Whedon goodness.

Sorry about the links to Fox but technically they own the rights to all the shows they canceled.

Why haven't gone yet?!? Go!

I am such a fanbois.

A Good Day to Quit Smoking

As usual, my timing is impeccable:

1. I was awoken at 4:35 AM this morning by the dumpster-divers rifling through the last night of Stampede trash. An altercation about who got the half-full bottle of something or other ensued and was ended when said bottle was smashed over one of the opponents' heads.
2. Was the first at work this morning and discovered that most of the weekend processes didn't.
3. Somehow I got roped into being the contact for my team on a new project which at first seemed like a simple matter but by the end of the day looks to be a political nightmare.
4. I had to (and still am) running month end for the third time this month because of, well, I don't know really.
5. Minor plumbing problems (kitchen sink not draining) on Saturday resulted with me coming home today to a giant hole where the wall used to be. Sawdust, muck, water and dirt everywhere.

Needless to say, tomorrow is Day 1 Version 2

Burning Sensation

Wow. In my efforts not to spend money, one of the biggest hurdles is to keep myself entertained. Or at least busy. When I'm bored, I spend money on tings that relive the boredom for about an hour. This is costing about $20/hour on average.

So toady after the gym (I'm paying for it until the office moves to the new building) and grocery shopping (stuff that's absolutely required and on sale) I started burning the CDs I've purchased over the past few years and never got around to burning. These have been languishing in various nooks and crannies in my car for a while.

38 CDs. And about half of them "Best Of.." albums. I must be getting old when I buy those. That or the music is.

And of course as I burn them, they get filed into the big box (why keep CDs around?). And I gotta wonder why I have some of the stuff. "Shonen Knife"? "Enigma"? Okay, I an understand the kitsch factor. How the hell did I wind up with a "Spice Girls" album? Either an ex- or a drunken purchase (probably a combination of both).

What I was happy to see are the "harder" bands like "Primus", "Cake", "Tupelo Chain Sex", "Ministry", "Day-Glo Abortions" etc. Apparently I was into the whole Ambient Electronica thing when I got my iPod and didn't load up with something a tad harder. I haven't burst an eardrum in a while so it'll be a nice change. Also found my old "Supertramp" and "Yes" albums if I wanna get groovy.

Man I love hearing this stuff again.

Impulse

Okay the whole not doing the impulse buy is harder than I thought. I picked up "Midway Arcade Classics" and "Guitar Hero 2" for the PS2.

And two weeks worth of nicotine patches. Quit day is Monday. We all know how this is gonna go....

I'm Moby the Sailor-man!

Yesterday was my first full-day sailing lesson with Li'l Bro G. Although the weather was less than cooperative, and there were times that G and I almost came to blows (the little boats we were on are a bit "tippy") it was a blast and a half. Looking forward to the next couple of weeks of this: I could see myself sailing the ocean-blue as a retirement plan. Especially if my home-port was somewhere in Italy.

So as befits sailors returning to shore, the Bros and I went drinking, fighting and lookin' fer wimmen. Actually went to a strip club to watch Ultimate Fighting Championship but that's as close as you'll get in the middle of Bald-Ass Prairie.

On the work front, my stock-purchase program kicked in for my last check and, well, let us just say I see a lot of Kraft Dinner in my future. Ouch. My take home dropped over 40%! I'll have to fill out one of those "Mr. Tax Man, please stop raping my bung hole until tax-time" forms. I'm even considering stopping smoking. Really. Not going to happen, but it may be a last resort.

My Mass Effect review has gone critical. It's long, meandering and really doesn't say anything you can't read anywhere else. So I'm going to start again. And probably start the game up again. But in the mean time, here's what I learned from playing Mass Effect:

1. You can be an asshole or you can be a saint. But if you try to be a bit of both, you won't get very far.
2. The women who are strong, funny and fun think I'm a dork.
3. The women who are socially inept shut-ins with strange skin conditions throw themselves at me.
4. No matter how extensive the character creation engine is, I'm still ugly.
5. When I'm in charge, expect any order issued to be ignored in favor of standing and staring at a crate.
6. Pointing a vehicle in the direction yo wish to go and hitting the gas will get you there eventually.
7. No matter where you go, someone else got there first and will charge you a fee to enter. Or just shoot at you.
8. Blasting zombies with a "boom-stick" is great fun no matter what the age, epoch, universe and cause of zombie-ism.
9. The exact item you need will be in the store the moment you can't afford it.
10. The universe is out to get you. This can be handled with bigger guns, better armor and the ability to throw shit into outer space with the power of your mind alone.

Dentally Disturbed

So I went to the dentist today. Aside from the light - you know the one they have on the arm? - that detached and fell on my face, I had a disturbing visit to my dental health care professional. More than usual anyways.

There's a bit of history coming up, so get comfy.

Let's go back to Moby's grade school days. See him with his short-sighted squint (Dad insisted I didn't need glasses), his picked-last-for-sports figure and coordination. His hand-me-downs from his uncle. Ah what a picture. I told ya to get comfy.

Now my grade school participated in a program where young student dentists could practice their new-found skills on the (unsuspecting) little kiddies. My guess is that since they would be working on baby teeth, any mistakes etc would have no long term effects. They would get practical experience and kids would get free dental work. That suited my Dad just fine. Free dental care for three growing boys? Why not?

Well let me tell ya why not.

Some of the dentists-to-be (most, okay all the ones I went to) decided that if the teeth are going to fall out anyways, might as well make the best of it. Every kid in my class had each and every molar filled. Almost every kid wound up with the cheapest, ugliest set of periodontal work that these wannabes could stuff in their pre-pubescent mouths. And let me tell you, these guys were not gentle. Tales of broken teeth, punctured cheeks (mine, left side) insufficient or just plain not administered Novocaine (l'il Bro G). Every kid in my school absolutely dreaded visits to the dentist. My brothers and myself actually managed to avoid the wire-cage look, but my Dad kept giving us shit for not brushing and flossing (which we did with much rigor in a futile attempt to avoid the inevitable and excruciating).

Now fast forward a bit to high school. See Moby with the gangling limbs, the coke-bottle lenses set in the cheapest rims imaginable (my Dad finally relented after my teacher had a long, long talk with him) and the hand-me-downs from his uncle. This high-school also participated in the program. However this time, it wasn't milk-teeth, it was the permanent ones they were working on. In my first visit I received two "fillings" which were completely unnecessary: they just drilled holes to fill them in.

Fortunately for me, the program was discontinued in my second year. Unfortunately for me, my Dad was pissed: there was no way he was going to pay for seeing a dentist twice a year. So for the next three years, it was me and my toothbrush against the universe.

Now fast forward a bit to my (first) term at University. See Moby with the shoulder length, thick, wavy chestnut hair, his groovy glasses, his uncle's hand-me-downs (which were actually tres chic retro at the time). He can't afford to go to the dentist, but he brushes and flosses every day. His one visit was for a cleaning: there was a girl he was trying to impress. He received a clean bill of health (aside from the nicotine stains).

Now fast forward (sorry) again to six years ago. It's been fourteen years since Moby has seen a dentist. His teeth are not in good shape. For the past decade and a half, he could barely afford food, let alone dentistry. He has a molar that has split, exposing the nerve. He has wisdom teeth that ache constantly. But now, now he has dental coverage and he takes advantage of it. His girlfriend at the time recommends her dentist and can get me in with a recommendation. Moby books an appointment.

I think I really grossed the dental assistant out. I know I gave the dentist an orgasm.

Years of plaque were removed with monthly visits. The broken tooth was ground down and a temporary crown put in place. Four wisdom teeth were yanked bodily out and the final cap put in. Even though coverage paid for half of the work, the bill was indeed quite hefty. But worth it: I was no longer in pain, my teeth were white(r) and I could chew on both sides of my mouth.

Then something odd happened. I began to grind my teeth. I mean grind. So much so that I would wake up in the morning and my jaw would feel like I had been chewing stale bubble-gum all night.

Over the course of the next couple of years, my (new) dental hygienist and the dentist told me my gums were receding. This was true, I could see where the roots of a couple of my molars were exposed. The dentist said I needed to get a special "appliance" that would prevent me from grinding my teeth. He would keep saying that until today, where he added that if it continues (i.e. without the $1500 piece of plastic) I would need to get painful surgery. I still said no, using the excuse that at the moment I could not afford it.

I went home and did some research.

While indeed grinding of the teeth can cause the recession, it's only a contributing factor. Other include: using a harsh toothpaste (like the whitening one I use) brushing too hard with a hard toothbrush (which I realized I do) and age. It happens.

Maybe I get it from my old man. But honestly ,when someone who is essentially a health care professional immediately recommends the $1500 solution without mentioning any of the alternatives or possibilities, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I went to the drug store after work and picked up three things: a less harsh toothpaste (which cost about double what I get now), a sonic toothbrush (about $150) and an "appliance" which, after following the instructions to mold it to my bite, cost $1470 less than my dentist's "solution".

I am really hoping the above works for no other reason than to go into the dentist's office in six months, show him the recede-less gum line and tell him to, well, I'm trying to think of something witty here, and I have six months to do so.

Maybe I'll just bite him.

Statement of the Obvious

And now my whinging has some scientific proof.

Drop It

Been a bit of a klutz the past twenty-four hours.

Last night at a local pub, I dropped a table on my big toe. I was there with a bunch of my former minions from the last job. Besides all of them asking if there was work for them at my new place, they said I looked quite happy, which, apparently, came as a bit of a shock. It was good to see them as they are a good crew, I'll see what I can do for them (or at least most of them). Seems things aren't going so hot in some cases.

So besides having a big, bloody, purple big toe the night went quite well.

This morning I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet (see the theme here?). Apparently cell phones aren't water proof (yes it was just water). I'll be looking for a phone tomorrow. Looks like I've been a bit of a klutz as of late, which kinda makes the idea of making fried perogies right now probably a bad idea. I probably should get the steel-toed boots out in case of further accidents.

I Hear Voices

Well I do. My ears work pretty well.

But specifically I've been using my web cam and mic to record something i like to call Smokin' with Moby. No, I don't post it online. This blog is my public face and the video is my private one. And kind of my therapist. At least when I talk to myself I can justify it by recording it.

One thing that struck me is my voice. It sounds pretty much like I expect it to, but for some reason I tend to talk in a bit o a higher tone that my normal voice. I also seem to end my sentences in a higher tone that when I start. I did a little research and apparently it gives a subtle hint to other that the speaker is not all that confident in what they are saying.

I also noticed that I do that when I'm not in front of a camera. I have a very bass voice, so much so that a lot of people can't hear it all that clearly. I may have raised it half an octave just to make sure I'm heard.

Now I'm making an effort to get my vocal range back to normal, and stop raising it at the end of my sentences. It's actually harder than I thought and: speech patterns are an acquired habit I guess. So if you see me and my voice sounds like I'm gargelling gravel, that's my actual voice. I'm so gonna be Moby Vader....

And yes, I'll be posting a full (very full) review of Mass Effect. It's taking longer than I thought. And also, er, this is now available.

Soundtrack Offline

Well, that's it for me and iTunes.

As reported earlier, I built myself a new machine and (eventually) moved all my music to a portable drive. This week, I plugged in the iPod (yes, it had been a while since I had changed up the playlist). Since I had agreed (apparently) that the tunes I purchased online would only play on a single machine, I couldn't play anything I had already bought and paid for on my new computer nor my iPod.

There's probably a way around that (like calling customer service etc) but I figured why bother? I had 100 songs I purchased on iTunes, now all unavailable to me because I did the unthinkable: I got a new computer. Nobody ever does that.

So, yeah, I'm not purchasing anything from iTunes anymore. Besides, I've had problems on there before: music downloads wouldn't, the user interface didn't etc. Really, the application itself is (in my somewhat expert opinion) a kludge with only the most basic functionality, poorly executed and often times counter-intuitive at that. Not to mention I have been noticing the difference in sound quality for the native iTunes format and CD.

Of course this means that any inclination to get an iPhone has departed, my next portable digital audio device will not be an Apple product and I'll continue buying CDs (can you say Amazon.com?). That sounds bitter, even for me, but frankly I'm out $100. But I'll still use the iTunes store to sample any planned purchases in the future. Hey I'm a "forgive and forget" kinda guy.

No, wait, that's "hold a grudge until the grave" kinda guy.

Traitors Abound!

I'm home from work early as my gastro-intestinal system is revolting. In both senses of the word. It actually hasn't acted up in a quite a long while (to this extent, at any rate) so this is kind of a "Pearl Harbor" spasm. Looking back on it, eating sushi from a place called "Pearl Harbor" should have been a big hint.

Of course it may be divine (or abysmal) retribution for being a bad man this weekend. Previously I hinted I didn't want to jinx something. That something was a response from my almost-forgotten experiment on Craig's list. After about two weeks of communication, she indicated that she was in the process of getting a divorce which is a deal breaker for me. Is divorced is fine. In fact at this time-of-life it's almost become expected. But in the process of has two very definitive issues for me.

In the first place, I've seen what can happen when one of the parties decides to "get out there" in the middle of the process. What may have been an amicable split becomes a litigious frenzy of recrimination and emotional devastation. And honestly, who needs that kind of drama? Yes, I know, it's entirely possible that two people can go through a divorce as honest, mature adults. I have yet to see that happen, but I acknowledge the possibility.

In the second place (is that an actual phrase?) someone who has been in a relationship for a longer period of time needs to reset themselves to themselves as a single unit. A grieving period, discovering yourself, whatever you want to call it. Basically the opportunity to re-invent the person as "me without the other person". Otherwise there is a real danger that the person you are about to date is filling that hole, with all the expectations, frustrations etc that were focused on the recently-departed baggage focused on the new interest. Again, drama on an operatic scale which frankly I neither want nor need.

Her reaction when I explained that I'm not comfortable dating someone going through a divorce (having seen and experienced what that can do to the people and proceedings) was a) we were not communicating for the purposes of a relationship (which struck me as odd as the ad was placed under "men seeking women") b) You (Moby) are damaged goods for not wanting to see someone going through a divorce. And c) she mentioned her ex-to-be has already started dating which made me think "great, so you're looking for someone to show him you're out there, too?". Maybe a bit cynical, but hey, experience tells. And if I am damaged goods (a very distinct possibility) why put myself into a position where more damage can be done?

Of course, I feel like a heel for shutting down things so abruptly (she seems like a very nice woman with a lot to offer). I've learned the hard way that you need to go with your gut, even if it is unreliable in it's actual biological function. Now if you excuse me, I have to once again, er, you don't want to know.

Rain, Rain, Go Away. Seriously, F-off!

I think I've ruled out Vancouver as a possible place of residence. Two weeks of solid rain in Calgary. It's given me the blues, trending toward black in my mood as of late. I've gone beyond grumpy into downright cantankerous.

Much condolence to Capa for the loss of his dog, friend and family member. That's always hard. He was a good dog, even though I only met him a couple of times. Big, dumb and friendly, just the way I like them.

So nothing new to report over the past while: I'm at forty hours playing "Mass Effect" and I went all fanboi by buying the novel tie-in, the art book and the strategy guide (it was a bundle) on Amazon. A game hasn't awed me this much in quite a while. Full review when I finish.

That's about it really: keepin' on keepin' on.

Hit Me!

My company just did it's semi-annual profit share yesterday and although I just came under the wire with my starting date and got a small cheque, the potential for the next one is huge. Let me put it this way, the amount of the cheque I just received that covers off one week work at the new place is worth about 10% of the grand total of bonus cheques I've received in the past 10 years. Bling, baby.

And the stock purchase program (where you can contribute 20% of your salary which they match one-for-one) starts in a couple of weeks. Meaning the next year is going to be lean, but dear gods the payoff. Thankfully I have quite a nice little nest egg stowed away and there are three "three pay cheque months" in that time so the budget is tight but not overly restrictive.

On the game front, I just picked up Mass Effect for the PC and played it for about eight hours over two days. It's very reminiscent of KotOR (well, it is a BioWare game so no surprise) but instead of drawing on the Star Wars franchise they've created a milieu out of whole cloth. While they are sticking to many of the standard space opera tropes, it's extremely well executed and only enhanced by some fantastic voice-acting (including some Hollywood names, which is nice to see. I mean hear.). Too early for a final verdict but a preliminary rating of eight out of ten coffin-nails with a couple of screwdrivers so far. I was getting a tad upset about the convolutions I had to go through to actually get my hands on the game but now I'm thinking it's well worth it.

And despite the urge to fire it up again, I have too many chores to do for a Saturday (dammit) including, well ... no. Don't want to jinx it. And of course long time readers of this humble journal know exactly what that means.

Does Management Give You ADD?

I've noticed something about the new job. Or rather, I noticed something about myself at the new job. I can't concentrate for more than forty-five minutes at a time, even when I'm coding.

I suspect being a team lead has given me ADD.

For those who haven't been in lower-middle-management, it's basically fielding all the little problems that come along in the course of a day. Someone comes to you with a problem, you make a decision and either do some work to fix it or delegate. You rarely, if ever, get to really get into one particular thing for any length of time. "Multi-tasking", even though I despise the term, is almost appropriate here.

With my voluntary demotion, I'm out of that game. Before my rise into under-paid over-responsibility, I would lose track of time completely when I got into the zone. Now, the zone is just a dot on the horizon. I'm hoping I can make my way back there (it's only been two months) but still it's a bit scary.

And in other news: still single. Just thought I'd mention that.

"Hi Mom!"

Oh dear gods in heaven my mother just got on to Skype.

Now understand this is a woman who as resistant to technology as Teflon is to Jell-O. She still refers to the little checklist I put together to start a movie on the DVD player three years ago. The answering machine gives her nightmares (gods forbid the thing kicks in before she picks up the phone. Ten minutes of confusion followed by me giving her a message).

I love my Mom, really I do. But this simply does not bode well. She's the only member of my family who does not consider me the free tech-support guy. And I have been very, very thankful for that. The brain signals crossing the concept of "Mother" and "Support Client" simply cannot cope with the huge conflict.

Argh.

Diary of a Mad Zombie

To complete my weekend movie reviews, we have Diary of the Dead. It's Mr. Romero's direct-to-DVD release which does the whole "let's shoot it with a handy-cam" thing a la Cloverfield and Blair Witch Project.

It's not going to win the Oscar for best picture. The actors, portraying college students, are little stiff and the dialog is tad contrived. It does insert a new take on the handy-cam thing: footage from various other cameras (security cams, raw TV footage etc.) are sprinkled throughout. It gets the message across very well: right now we have so many media inputs, what the heck is the truth? How do you stabilize all the spin?

So the final rating is 7 of 10 smokes but I'm also giving it a full six screwdrivers for some of the amazingly creative ways to kill zombies. Two of the vodka-and-orange juice are just for the scenes where the walking dead are taken out by arrows. Mr. Romero, my hat's off to you (leaving my cranium exposed of course).

'K', Bored Now

A week of rain. The long weekend was so promising: the first May LW in about ten years where long-johns and scarves weren't required. And now, precipitation for five days straight. Bored and slightly blue.

So I watched a lot of movies. A alot of movies.

Lessee. Let's start with a block-buster. the social club at work sponsored a special screening of the Indiana Jones movie. I'll give it, er, what rating system do I use, oh yeah 4 out of 10 cigarettes. Not the best of the Jones franchise (that would be the first one) but about on par with the worst. No spoilers here, so let's just say a fundamental plot pattern was violated. There were a couple of times I saw this film racing up the ramp (you know the one, it has a shark just beyond it) but veered off at the last second. Still considering the tripe coming out of La-La land, not a bad film. Just, please, Mr. Lucas, please stop there.

For a bad film, go try Vexille. Or rather, don't. What is it about Japanese animation (a lot of it at least) where they go into the most intricate visual detail and nuance with the scenery (especially the technology) and then have the character's faces about as animated as a hammer? Wait, that implies some kind of movement. Rock? Wax figure? My love-life? Yeah that works. I actually managed to finish this one after stopping and starting three times (insert another love-life joke here). I picked it up for $20 which is kind of the "what the hell?" point of impulse buying for me. I am now thinking what I could have done with that twenty bucks. One old crumpled cigarette butt.

Now Hogfather on the other hand is quite brilliant. Made for TV this sucker is four hours long but keeps very faithfully to the Terry Pratchett novel with only dropping a few passages. For example no Librarian. Now I totally understand he wasn't cogent to the main plot, but still. The editing was a little, er, "loose" and I got the impression that there was a limited number of takes per scene, but this was made for TV, so I can forgive. Highly recommended for rabid Disc World fans and for those who like a little humor in an otherwise insipid Christmas movie list. Ridcully is perfect, and Susan (Michelle Dockery) is fantastic as Susan Death. And she has those big, dark brown eyes that make me ... er ... yeah sorry. It's extremely rare to find a holiday movie that I would insist my kids watch. If I had kids. Wanted kids.8 and a half out 10 smokes. And that's only because it took so damn long to be released in North America. Don't the Brits know how desperate we are over here for intelligent entertainment?

Now a movie that I think stood up to the hype is Cloverfield. There's a part of me that is really sick of watching beautiful twenty-something in everything so seeing them wiped out by a rampaging monster made me feel a little better. And it's also a good movie. Great concept which got me wondering what of the classic sub-genres would be good in the handy-cam style of remake. Seven of ten cancer-sticks. Bonus screwdriver for ending the way it did.

Which is why I'm watching Diary of the Dead tonight! That and the little brothers don't want to go to the peelers. Usually my life is sex or violence. Or at least simulated.

Cake and Kids

Whalp, .500 is a pretty good average in baseball. That's the correct sport, right?

Cake was amazing but way too short at just over an hour. I was hoping they would go at least 90 minutes but I got the impression they weren't thrilled with the folks here in Cowtown, so they busted out early. Anyways and regardless, great show. Thanks to Big M and all his friends for showing up and while still making feel old, I do feel better about it.

As for Kids in the Hall, well there was a move from a 7PM start time to 9:30PM. Now if I wasn't attending solo, it would have been no problem to retire to one of three pubs in the area I enjoy and have a few before the show. Since I was doing the singularity thing though, retiring to one of three pubs in the area I enjoy and having a few before the show by myself is just too sad to contemplate. Besides, past experience from my rock 'n' roll years says if it's delayed that long, it probably ain't gonna happen.

So I'm at a loss of what to do on a Saturday night. Not that unusual in and of itself, but this time it was unexpected. I did buy a whole pile of books when I went for lunch with Capa but frankly I don't feel very literary tonight. And I'm not quite so desperate to look on Craig's list for "casual encounters". Yet. We'll see how the ping is on my game servers.

Back to Normal

Okay it's obvious with my last few entries that my normal kvetching, never-ending gripe was put on hold for a little while. So, back at it.

Or rather, today was just one of those days. I was actually given a task of some merit and frankly I kept fucking it up, looking like a total twat in front of my new colleagues. I could probably say a bunch of stuff that would sound like excuses and evasions (and in one case that would be accurate). Let's just say that it's not fun walking into a giant system operation where everyone on your team has been working on it for 3+ years. One made a comment that "we are here to work" after I put on my coat to go have a smoke. Which I grant you I've been doing too much of lately out of boredom.

All in all the job is still good, I think (hope) I just had a bad day. An alarm bell went off though. The code I had to fix was a mess and the technical aspects of the promotion procedures left something to be desired, like fucking documentation or a reasonable sense of consistency. I quickly came under the impression that the entire system is a very large and functional prototype. I've had very bad experiences with systems like this: they tend to be outgrown by demand extremely quickly and become a nightmare to maintain, forget about expand.

I really hate the three month probation period. It makes me anxious and paranoid. More than normal I mean.

That and I'm sick again which is getting on my tits. I've had two weeks in the past eight where I was reasonably healthy. The other six have been filled with tissues and Tylenol; snot and sniffing.

I'm a little grumpy today obviously.

Ahoy!

I signed up for sailing lessons! It goes four Saturdays in July, it's on a reservoir instead of the deep blue and there's a fairly good chance I'll do myself some kind of nautical harm. It'll be with L'il Bro' G which means I'll be giving him rides and why he encouraged me to sign up.

It was that or sky-diving. Considering the phrase "worse things happen at sea" I think I took the more dangerous of the two choices. Sailing is analog: all kinds of things can go wrong. Skydiving is digital: you hit the ground at a safe speed or you don't. Either way, there's a great potential for a splash.

Well it gets me out of the house. And that sounds somewhat morose but I'm actually excited about it. Far too many pirate games and naval history books lately for me not to try it out.

That's about it really. Work is work, home is boring (and messy, need to clean up this weekend), gym is going along fine, love life is dead and buried, books are being read, games are being played, movies are being watched and food is being eaten.

Wait, what am I talking about? I'm seeing Cake on Thursday and the Kids in the Hall on Saturday. Geez... I'm a reg'lar mover and shaker. Okay, nudger and slight vibrator.

Van

Back from Vancouver. It was about a 14-hour day but still wasn't bad. The conference was okay, it's always good to talk to other professionals (even for a few moments) to know that you're really in the same place as most everyone else.

Vancouver though is gorgeous. There were leaves on the trees, pretty girls, the smell of the ocean, droves of hot girls in spring outfits. Did I mention there are a lot of women there? Coming back to Calgary was a bit of a disappointment.

I discussed the very thing with L'il Bros G and B. All the brothers concur that Cowtown is a sausage-fest. It's kinda obvious when you notice it. Going out on the town, you see mostly males. I wonder if it's because Calgary is very much a suburbanites dream. Everyone moves to the suburban wasteland around here. The "cultural" centers are focused on drinking and finding those things associated with being drunk at 2AM.

I'm not moving anytime soon, but lets just say I'll be using my flight deals to go to the coast more than a few times.

Ooooh!

Crisis averted!. That is all.

Now What?

Sigh.

After having reported yesterday that I was happy, or at least not stressed, I now find myself a little bored. The usual distractions of computer games, movies and books have lost their luster. I know, it's only been one day but the ol' ADHD kicks in at the drop of a Ritalin.

The only reason I'm writing this is to spend (okay, waste) a couple of minutes.

Maybe that's a good thing? Maybe it'll get me to get off my butt and do all the stuff I keep putting off? Like, I dunno, drawing or writing or something. I had a passing fancy of buying a bass guitar and learning how to play. I mean I can't smoke continuously.

Idle hands are the devil's playings and all that. What about an idle mind. The Devil's Lego? Eesh.

How to Blind the Neighbors

Me wearing shorts. If it weren't the Wookie-like quality of my legs, I'd be blinding air-traffic.

So yeah, it's nice out, BBQ will be fired up in a couple of hours and all is pretty well with the world. I bet you never thought you'd read that here.

Big Blue is dead. I mean really dead, the whole motherboard is gone, not the AGP slot. Which means I'll have to figure out how to mount the old drives on Black Betty. I should probably rephrase that, but it's about the extent of my life right now.

So not much (again) to report. Maybe the key to happiness is being content with what you have? Nah, can't be that...

I may be going to Vancouver on Thursday for a one-day conference. I'll probably stick around for the weekend if I can, or at least Saturday. Hopefully they have some tall ships at the port. I'd love to have a look now that I know some nautical terminology.

Short and uneventful: now, I have to marinate a New York steak. And water the plants. Stress is now my bitch.

Trends Emerge

I've detecting a pattern. Whenever Moby goes to a social occasion where the average age of the group is twenty-five, Moby drinks 750ml of vodka.

Ugh.

Yesterday in the elevator I ran into one of my former co-op students. he lives in the same building as I do and he had a party yesterday and invited me along. I figured what the hell, better than spending an exciting evening archiving emails and music.

He's a geek, his girlfriend's a geek and all their friends are geeks. Young geeks, so I didn't feel 100% weird (say around 33.3% or so). I did manage to play Rock Band for the first time and it was fun. And I met a very cute, very smart very young chip designer for satellite systems (!) who is totally into Firefly, Guitar Hero, traveling and theatre. I thought she was single but after the fermented potato left my system this morning, I realized we looked at photos from Japan that were taken about a month ago with her boyfriend. I had some real self-delusion going there. There's a part of me that thinks they may have broke up since then. The retarded part who should be euthanized (with fermented potato).

Anyway, got my tax refund and I was correct down to the penny. So big, big bucks for Moby to pay off his new machine and enough to store for when I get to do the 20% of my salary, the company matches 100% thing next month. I did the budget for the next year and it's tight. Thankfully I have two months coming up this year containing 3 paychecks (bi-weekly pay). That and (hopefully) the company semi-annual bonus in November means I'll get away with it but have to cut my impulse spending a bit. A lot. Completely.

Which means I gotta stop going to Best Buy and buying things like: "Cloverfield" (never seen it, love it now), "Heat" (A classic), "Juno" (funny-quirky), "Pan's Labyrinth" (which I hadn't bought yet for some unknown reason), "Lars and the Real Girl" (quirky okay), and "Babylon 5" Season 3 (the geek in me of course). What can I say, I kinda panicked today. And watched two movies. And groaned a bit. And went to the gym. And felt old. Older.

Update: No responses from Craig's List. Which is not surprising as it turns out the email I created for it defaulted to "delete suspected junk email".

This Week

Considering the fact that we've had more winter in the past four weeks than we had all winter, it's no surprise that I have little to report. So here are the blog-bites.

I totally forgot that Big Blue's data drive is IDE and Black Betty (okay I have a thing for alliteration) runs ATA. Li'l Bro B suggested I pick up a decent external drive, transfer the files from Blue and just use that. So I picked up a 400Gb external drive. I'll be doing the file transfers this weekend. Gods know what I actually have on that drive besides my ripped CDs, resume stuff and, er, "artwork".

Work is going pretty well. A little emergency project yesterday that I was put in charge of (yes, scary) so I got to work and coordinate almost everyone on the team. It actually got me to open up a bit so my sense of humour came out. No complaints to human resources yet.

I think I'm finally at the tail-end of the cold I think Capa just got, after a bloody month. I know the pack-a-day didn't help but the thing knocked me on my kiester, which then got progressively bigger as working out was an exercise in frustration (see what I did there?).

Last, and hopefully least, I spazzed out and posted a personal ad on Craig's List. I know, I know, I said I'm not looking. It's sort of half social experiment, half the true start of the mid-life crisis. Considering all the hullaballo about finding free 'n' easy "encounters" on there, maybe I won't need the "artwork".

Enter the New Machine

Got my new machine! Thanks PC Perspective! I got the High end setup but switched the quad-core CPU (which is nice) with a faster (3.0 MHz) dual-core. It's a new gaming rig and very few games take advantage of multi-core systems. So I went hard.

I need to Igor my old data drive to get all my files so I'm left without bookmarks and music for a while. Big Blue (the old machine) will go into semi-retirement as ... something. Maybe a Linux distro of some kind is in order. Black Betty (the new machine) is a near top of the line, sleek black and burnished titanium like whiz kid. It only took forty minutes to install Windows (well, and about another hour to install all the security patches).

My "bench marking" so far has been loading games on and trying them out with all the graphic setting turned up to 11. So far, so amazing. Except I haven't gamed in so long my WASD hand is all cramped up....

Anyway, out with the old, in with the new! Now, what's worth playing? Um....

Plan-Like

So week three at the new "jorb" is complete and I'm still liking it. I was actually able to make a contribution this week (Look at me! I'm useful) and the awesome power of the ludicrous benefit package is beginning to dawn on me.

My fortieth birthday is gonna be sweet!

Provided the 25cm snow thing doesn't happen again this weekend, I'm cleaning up the BBQ, going to my favorite butcher and charring some prime bovine flesh.

I don't know if it's the Springtime coming on, or if I'm just bored but I feel certain urges coming to the fore. Barely contained needs are rising up like a million tones of sap pumping in an arboreal forest. The sweats, the thoughts that rip you from the task at hand and plunge you deep into a misty-eyed reverie that leads to rumination of the possible. A drive, as undeniable and as ancient as Time has taken hold of my very roots.

Yup, gonna get me a new computer this week.

Update: Yes, I did get my damage deposit (a larger portion than I expected) back from the old place. And yes, I just placed the order for my new PC.

Return of the Return

After going over my taxes and re-doing it three times, I'm getting back (wait for it) $4200+. The plan was to buy the parts for a new gaming rig with the return. Now it's to buy parts for a nw gaming rig, a new monitor and hire a French maid.

Filed Life

It's tax season! While this usually inspires fear, loathing, hatred and confusion, this year is a little more interesting. Most years I have three forms to worry about: the one indicating income and taxes deducted, the one with my RRSP contribution statement and the remaining student loan interest (last year for that! Yay!).

This year though it was two jobs, two sets of RRSP forms, the tax form and other sundries. Moving twice and having two jobs last year made things ... confusing. I think I found almost everything (except for an RRSP form dammit).

In finding all these bits of paper, I purged my old files. I had tax returns going back to 1995. Not a biggie but stuffed in all those papers were a few things of note:

1. Cards, notes, tokens etc from ex-girlfriends (before the had the prefix appended of course). A tad depressing, but also a good reminder of the times that were better than the end.
2. My official censure notice of one of the "bad ol' days" of a former employer. At the time it threw me for a loop. Long story short, I was told I had a week to deliver something that should have been a month, it was critical to the business and there was a bug in the code. One bug. My boss at the time threw me to the wolves. It said I didn't take the time to test, that I didn't follow written standards (I remember asking where these were as I had never seen them. That did not help my case) and that my work was incomplete. This was dated two months after my annual review which stated I had "exceeded expectations" in all but two categories (and those I merely met). Looking back on it now I should have quit right there and then. I kept that notice to identify the precise moment in time I turned into a bitter curmudgeon.
3. My old school papers. Yes some of them were official (I kept the one showing I was one Fine Arts class short of a BSc Computer Science) but I had found some of the stuff from my college radio days. No pictures (I don't remember having my picture taken in those four years) but the radio guides, posters etc. The Rock and Roll years.

Mugged in Memory Lane nearing my fortieth.

So what's left is to do the actual taxes. I won't worry about the missing RRSP: I'll request a new form and do it in next years taxes. What with bonuses, profit share and purchase plans, I'm going to need the break with the new job.

Provided no one throws me to the wolves of course.

More Fun With Landlords

Just as I (think) I resolved the missing damage deposit, my new landlord has thrown me a whopper.

I found a note in my door indicating I was late with April's rent, that a report notice has been sent to a credit rating company and that I owe an additional $50 late fee. This was after last month's note that the processing of my application for pre-authorized payment had not been submitted to the bank for March's rent so could I please write them a cheque.

I gave them the pre-authorized withdrawal form in January. It is now April.

So I went to the building office (with all notes etc in hand) but the land-lady wasn't in, just her assistant. So she copied all the relevant info. I'll talk to the landlady tomorrow.

Mistakes happen: running a large apartment building is an exercise in frustration I'm very sure. So I'm hoping this can be worked out amicably. I'll give them a cheque for April when I see evidence that the credit report notice has been revoked. I'll also be asking for the pre-authorized withdrawal form back and giving them post-dated cheques. This little incident has not instilled any kind of confidence that when I vacant the building the auto-withdrawal of my rent will stop.

If things cannot be handled amicably, well I'll take it up with the management company and see what happens then.

Kinda Sorta Maybe

Having one of those blah kind of days. I'm on day four of a cold, I'm bored and a little antsy about work. Not in a bad way, just want to get something accomplished. It would help if I had my developer-strength computer but that's just a waiting game.

Speaking of which, since I'm bored, lemmee tell ya about my dating situation.

Nada.

Which is actually intentional. I'm pretty damn sure I explained the whole "not looking" thing before, but what the hell it bears repeating. I'm not looking. Well, I'm looking at women of course, but I'm not pursuing any kind of relationship whatsoever. Not like the opportunity has presented itself, but at least this way I can convince myself it's my idea and not a long-running cruel joke played by the universe.

All of the relationships I've had have been, at some point, unsatisfactory. And yes I know I'm the common element so I'm just removing that particular parameter. Now if the universe presents me with a golden opportunity, I'd be a fool not to take it. But I'd be a greater fool to actually think it will happen thus I'm handing in the towel. Politely, and with no rancour.

The relationship part I'm good with. It's the whole pressure to perform that leads up to that point. It all comes down to expectations, and frankly now that I have none, I'm good. Well, better at any rate. There's of course the whole es-ee-ex thing to consider but I never said it was a perfect plan.

Week the First

Well the first week at the new job went, er, well. Like I suspected, a week of reading and getting to know peoples names. Kinda dull but to be expected after all.

I should mention that I now work for an airline. Because the employees get a pretty decent discount on flights they fly every-which-way as often as they can. Meaning of course they bring back a continent's (and places further) worth of diseases, so yes I'm sick again. However because of this everyone has advice on what to do to prevent getting caught by a bug.

However laminating myself gets... uncomfortable.

Next week I have a two-day "drink-the-koolaid" session which should prove interesting. As stated, I'm working for an airline so much of the new hire intake will be flight attendants. Flight attendants! This has a cheesy early-sixties road-movie theme written all over it. I just hope I'm the crooner and not the mal-adjusted goof in this one.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Hey Laaaaaadyyyyyyyy!

On the home front I still haen't received the balance of my $1045 damage deposit from my old place. The management company keeps giving me the run around. They didn't send it, then they said they did send it but couldn't tell me where. Then they said they had problems. Enough. Monday I'm telling them to cancel the cheque and re-issue another one. It would not shock me in the least if this was standard operating procedure for these slum-lords. But that's way to much money to let slide.

Speedy Day

Alright, I will describe my first week at work but today's schedule is somewhere in the "insane" realm. I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

In the meantime, fans of Tiki Bar TV may enjoy this (Not safe for work by any means). I know I did.

But It's My First Day...

First day at the new grind!

And not bad at all actually. Despite lacking a PC manufactured this century, I had the usual "Read this. And this. And some of these..." kind of day. The first day on the new job is always a bit awkward: you have no idea what you are doing, you don't have an access card so you need to knock on doors and look forlornly through the little window, you meet people whose names you instantly forget. Well, not Capa. He bought me two coffees today which I'm assuming is a bribe to keep quiet about previous jobs.

The only thing that I'm still unsure about is the commute. For the past four years I've been taking the heel-and-toe express and driving to work on a daily basis is still one of those things in the "Con" column. For instance, we had a sudden blizzard this morning, and on the way home, I crawled past two accidents and had to come to a sudden stop because the car driver in front of me decided to get out of his vehicle for no obvious reason. It's thirty minutes one way which means I need to get my ass out of bed thirty minutes earlier (or at least stop hitting the snooze button.

Not to mention the price of gas. Hooboy.

However the benefits of driving means I can do those little things I normally do after work right after work. Before I'd come home, make dinner, check email etc. then go do the running around or go to the gym. I can do that on the way home now so my whole evening isn't shot.

So for this week my evenings will be filled with BSG Season 3.

Geek out!

All in all I think it was a very good day.

Wisdom of the Ancients

So I'm probably going to have to change the "thirty-something" in this blog's banner and replace it with a new number in a couple of months.

My Mom is freaking out about more than I am, so that's, er, well I'm not sure what that is. I feel immature.

I noticed lately that time has been doing it's ravaging thing. It started with the ski trip in February. I already reported that things were broken, I ain't as young as I used to be etc ad nauseum but there was also something from that trip that turned out a bit odd.

Now since I was with the "young 'uns", most of them posted pictures on Facebook. The pictures of me seemed to have something wrong with the colour, or light or something but in almost all of them there was a yellow tinge in my face around the cheeks.

I first thought it was just something to do with the photos. Then I noticed that once in a while there was a hint of yellow in my features when viewing my mug in a mirror. I then put it down to the ravages of tobacco consumption and started to scrub a bit harder in the mornings. It was still there.

Now understand that as rule I am not fond of the medical profession. There is a history with myself and with my family of being victims of medical malpractice, usually involving major surgery. Two years ago there was the whole strep throat debacle, but that was the latest in a long string of medical practitioners who frankly need more practice (but not on me thank you very much).

I tend to self diagnose. The internet is wonderful for that. And most of the time I'm dead on. That was probably the wrong choice of words.

Anyways, I believe I 1) am a bit anemic and B) probably have a touch of scurvy. Sounds ridiculous but all the symptoms point to it. Lack of energy, receding gums, yellowing of skin, lack of energy, cts taking a long time to heal etc. Yes, I hear you say "a pack a day may have something to do with that Moby" and you're right, but like most things there isn't just one cause.

I'm not the best cook in the world. I'm not the worst cook in the world. To qualify for either category one must actually cook and therefore I'm disqualified. I've always had to be careful of my diet because of my wonderfully dysfunctional stomach (I get heartburn looking at a Caesar salad) and that may have been part of the issue. So I'm branching out in the culinary department a bit more.

I've attempted to balance my diet a bit: granola vs Fruit Loops, eating actual fruit (again, not Fruit Loops), stopping my Wine Gum addiction, taking a multi-vitamin and iron supplement (for the anemia) etc. This has been going on for a week and I'm starting to feel better already. Admittedly, I'm just getting over a two-week-and-counting cold and busted ribs but I'm taking it as a good sign.

Yeah, the smoking thing is going be around for a while though, sorry. I don't want to be so healthy that I make myself sick.

Half Way Between

One week after giving notice, one week before the new job means I'm halfway to out. For anyone who has recently quit a job, the "interim" between the two manifests some odd behaviours.

There's the melancholy that occurs as you realize probably won't see most of the people you spent half your waking hours with ever again. Not that they are bad people but life tends to work that way.

There's the sheer joy that soon, you won't have to deal with this person or that situation.

There's the impulse to slack off and just mark time because in a very short while, it won't matter anymore. Then there is the (hopefully) accompanying work ethic drive to do it right (whatever "it" is) and to leave with good last impression.

There's the uncertainty that you may have made the wrong move, and the certainty that you have done the best thing for yourself. These can, and often, occur at the exact same time.

There's the heartfelt congratulatory regards, usually accompanied by a sadness to see you go. Then there are others who have already dialed you out of their reality.

Then there's all the bloody forms to fill out....

A Lazy Weekend

Well, not really. Just the first one where the schedule wasn't booked to overflowing. I managed to unpack the last of the boxes, do laundry, clean the place, wash the car, get a haircut, drop off the dry-cleaning and all those other sundry chores that I've been neglecting for the last month.

Surprisingly I found that relaxing.

I'm feeling much more at home here than at the last place. The final touch is when I violate the terms of my lease and hammer nails into walls to put up pictures. Sometimes the pace just fits you.

And I've usually called home "The Fortress of Solitude" but I'm thinking it'll just be "The Roost". I have a great view of the south of the city and all the drug deals going on in the fast-food joint's parking lot. As long as they are quiet deals I don't mind terribly.

So new place, new job. Next: new girlfriend.

Actually, forget it, I just wanna relax a bit....

Step One: New Apartment. Step Two: New Job

Yup, new place of employment. But since technically this is an anonymous blog, I won't say where, but will say it's the same place (and same building and floor) as Capa. And many thanks to him for recommending me for the job despite all obvious and plentiful evidence to the contrary.

I'm excited about the new job, but resigning the current job kinda sucked. It's not even close to being as, well, mind-numbingly frustrating as the previous one. A very significant part of me is sad to see me go. I built up a team of great folks and despite one project from hell, was doing pretty well.

But the new job gets me out of lower-middle management and puts me back into cutting code. It's a senior position so there will naturally be some of the shenanigans that happen in any hierarchy, but it should be localized.

I get to cut code again!

Just (Another) One of Those Days

Fargin' Blargin'.

Two and half hours OT at work tonight because I needed to install an emergency patch to some software I didn't know we had. Super-duper rush on it for various reasons, but as usual it only affected one person (a VP granted but still). And even after that it didn't fix the problem. So back at it again tomorrow. Grumble.

It's a Microsoft Product so it shouldn't have come as a surprise.

Normally, this is part of the everyday in the glamorous world of Information technology. the timing is just off, that's all. Since I spent the weekend in Medicine Hat I didn't get a chance to do things like grocery shop or do laundry. Or actually relax as this was supposed to be the first weekend in about a month where I wasn't packing, moving, cleaning, unpacking or otherwise occupied.

And i can feel a monster cold coming on. Sigh. Or should I say, "digh". Eesh.

But! maybe the good news I've been hinting at will come through on the morrow. It will mean a period of, well, let's just say to get the good I gotta dish out some bad which will suck. All for a good cause though.

I'm off to chug a gallon of orange juice as I believe I have a borderline case of scurvy. Seriously, I think I'm playing too many pirate-themed games lately.

Update: Oh yeah, I have a cold of epic proportions. Gah...sniff

More Random Encounters

The old place is clean! Well, it's at the point where I frankly lost interest in scrubbing. Only one place I've ever rented at actually was fair about returning the damage deposit, and trust me if these guys do the inspection they way they rent apartments (get money, spend none of it) I can probably kiss the deposit good-bye.

On to random encounters. The coffee shop I frequent at lunch is kinda of a old hippy place. Organic three bean salad, recycled paper cups the whole works. Consequently there is a large population of old hippies. Now that's a generation I generally consider to be "ineffective" at this stage of it's life (previous stages being "arrogant", "hypocritical" and "greedy beyond belief").

Since I'm in there nearly every day, I've learned that these folks stand at the food displays they hum and haw, trying to decide between the whole-grain macaroni and macro-biotic cheese and the organically-grown vegetable salad. This can take forever. So when I see this awesome display of total indecision, I jump ahead to the actual line up of people who know what they want ends.

Yesterday at lunch, this situation did indeed occur. There was a couple doing exactly that: waffling about what they wanted. Fortunately (or at least I thought at the time) there was nobody at the till ordering so I naturally went up and ordered my americano.

It was while I was waiting for my brew that I heard someone talking awfully loud at a tome that indicated righteous indignation. I then realized that they were talking to me.

Apparently there was someone standing behind the pair of former hippies. She gave me a little lecture that, in summary, said I was rude for cutting into line. I told here that I didn't see a line, only people deciding what they wanted. She really didn't like that answer. She went on but my coffee was ready so I switched her off.

Now I fully admit that technically I cut in line. But since the line started about ten feet away from where you actually order, I see it as a line in potentia and not a manifest queue. Sure, I felt a little guilty, but that's mitigated by the look of smug, self-righteous, self-satisfaction on the defender social order's face.

So I was totally surprised when a similar situation happened again. This time, it was by a solitary granoloid who happened to be standing right in the frickin' doorway. I had to actually gently move her aside so I could enter the coffee shop. Again, nobody at the counter, just the cute girl who has a smile perfect for starting the day with. I ordered my extra-large medium and proceeded to make my way outside.

The door-stop with the hemp sweater then gave me hell for cutting in front of her. She was barely even in the place to even be in a line. So I just didn't register her existence (I hadn't had my first cup of coffee after all) and walked out.

Apparently I'm a rude boy. Maybe the days of having women tell me I'm "too nice" is over? Doubt it.

Seriously, I consider people who are generally inconsiderate to be, well, inconsiderate. Butting in line is rude, yes, but those who hold up others because they don't know what they want but showed first. Certainly a grey area, but I have no patience for those who think showing up is all they need to do. And they giving flak to those who show up, do what they need to do and move on?

Bark away, folks, I'm too busy getting things done. And sometimes I need coffee to do it.

Back Online

Third time I've moved in two years, third time my able internet provider screwed up the damn transfer. Three days, no toobs. And of course I have all this stuff I have to do which is so much easier online.

I mean, why leave the house?

And to think I worked for them for eight years. I'm gone eight months and it all goes to pot. Oh wait, it was already there.

Speaking of which, well, I ain't gonna tell ya but I may have good news. I may also have no news since it's that kind of event but I'm all nothing kinda guy and since I can't have it all....

That's about it really. I'm alive, getting some rest, back at the gym, putting off cleaning, geeking out with my minions tomorrow (board games as a "team building exercise") and generally settling into the new digs.

And if the smell of cow shit is an indication, Spring is here!

Settling In, Settling Down

The move be almost finished. The only things left at the old place are my propane tank and the cleaning supplies. I hope I also left the AC adapter to my speakers and my mic headset as those are not where I thought I put them. I think the box may have opened and either they fell out (and the movers put them in the trash or something) or they were just taken as a "bonus".

The only other casualty was my laundry hamper. Those are cheap and plentiful.

So I'm quite happy with the move. It was quiet on a long-weekend Saturday night so that's the ultimate test passed. The living room is smaller but the trade off is the double-size storage area, a kitchen you can turn around in without hitting something and a view of the city instead of the parking garage. All for $185 a month less. Oh yeah and the gym with the bikini models. Some things you can't put a price on.

Moves are always times when you reassess your stuff. My stuff is, like their owner, getting old, banged up and dilapidatd (the gym will help the owner in that regard). I'm tempted to replace the whole shebang but that can get a tad expensive and I have a new computer to buy in the next couple of months (no, not a Mac Capa). Spore has an official date, I keep hearing rave reviews about Sins of a Solar Empire and, well not much else at the moment but that's at least something.

There may be other changes afoot but I don't want to jinx it. Let's just say there may be a second of the "life changing events" coming up.

And no, a new woman in my life is the third one. But then again, I could go hit the treadmill....

Get Me Gone

Well tomorrow is my final day of packing, then I'm outta here! And into a slight variation of "here" costing me about a paycheck but gaining me a good night's sleep so it seems fair all in all.

I'm actually surprised at the dearth (look it up) of crap I have this time around. Oh sure, there's three cubic meteres of Lego, the ten boxes of books and the surpisingly high number of towels I seem to have but they all have their uses and frankly I can't part with any of them. Well, maybe the towels that don't have edges and the odd bleach stain.

As payment for letting him use my vehicle for nefarious purposes (I hope he obscured the license plate) L'il Bro G helped memove in some of the stuff like plants and CDs into the place and commented he liked it better than my current place even though it's bigger. The current place not the new one. I tend to agree and not just because of the reduced noise factor. I tend to get a good "vibe" (or bad one) from an apartment and it's served me in good stead in the past. But because I'm me I tend to distrust those little intuitions and end up making bad decisions. This also extends to things like CD purchases, cars, jobs and girlfriends So I guess the point I'm trying to get at is that I'm going to trust my instincts a bit more.

For example I need to do some work tonight for an appointment I have tomorrow but I am disinclined to do so as I am still stoned from the over-consumption of back-pain medicine taken for my broken (yes I broke it) rib. But my instincts tell me that shrugging this off is a bad idea. Failure to do so will cause me short-term embarrassment and long-term "you fucked up your life"-edness.

But that could also be the drugs talking so who the hell knows?

That Movin' Groove

Sorry for the lack of update, this one has been busy.

Last weekend, I went skiing with the Social Club at work. Well I say work, but there were about a dozen folks who actually work there who went along about 15 of their friends each. Since these were younger folks, I'd say I was the oldest one there, by about 15 years.

The bus ride up Friday was a drink-fest and I manged to keep up with the young 'uns by downing most of a twenty-six of Stoli. However my "maturity" was evident when they all got up at 7 AM to hit the slopes and I felt like the slope hit me. This would be a theme for the weekend.

It was my first time out this season and frankly my first day was a good imitation of "Bambi": unsteady, moving slow and slipping alot. But fun was had although I did most of the day solo. That's one of things I like about skiing. You can have fun while swooshing on your own. By the end of the day my legs were cramped, which attribute to the hangover more than anything. I think the running from the last few months helped the ol' musculature because the next morning I was in any pain at all.

That night I braked the imbibing a bit. I did get to know my chalet-mates a bit better (pics on my Facebook page) and there's was general merriment. The effect was spoiled by three of the guys I was roomed up with: the Russian Mafia. Never had I been in such close proximity of boys who's egos outstripped their obvious immaturity by so much. I think it goes a long way to explaining why there is such a large amount of womentrying to find husbands outside the former Soviet.

Sunday skiing was better. I was actually able to keep my knees together on occassion and did some one-diamond black runs (no moguls, thank the gods). just before lunch though I had a bit of a fall. Somehow, I turned my velocity into a rotational velocity with my feet as the pivot point. I went down hard on my right size. Fortunatly the ski pole was between me and the patch of ice I hit. I'd say I had bent the pole about, oh, sixty degrees and got a nice impression of my rib cage on it. While I don't think I cracked a rib I still can't sleep on that side. I had forgotten what getting the wind knocked out of you feels like.

I called it a day after that and took pictures.

Today I'm packing up. In one week I go to my smaller and cheaper place. I picked up the keys last week and sort of planned out where I'm going to put stuff. It's going to be a tad crowdd but the storage room is about twice the size I have now so That will help out greatly. The best thing is I went over at about ten PM one night just to listen to what kind of noise I can expect.

Silent as the grave!

The next few days are packing and some preliminary moving. I've engaged movers for next Saturday but since they get paid by the hour I'm moving stuff in a bit at a time. With any luck (and Thursday off) I can get all the boxes over there. It's a faint hope as lifting things right now after my little spill is a tad painful, but I should get the lighter stuff over. I'll save the books for the paid help. The only worry is that when i call to confirm they will have "lost" the reservation as it is actually a long weekend next week.

Okay spell checker is shot, pardon the plethora of typos and poor grammar.

Happy 50!

I can't let the day go by without mentioning it's the 50th anniversary of your favorite toy and mine, Lego! Even Google did a tribute with a Lego-themed logo.

Gotta love the brick! Although it's tough moving when you have about two cubic meters of the stuff....

(Un)Predictable

Lessee, what to kvetch about today? Well how about these guys?

If you look at this the day of the posting you can see that a very cold front is moving in today (Sunday). Yesterday, they said it was coming in Monday, on Thursday they said it was coming in Tuesday. And each day they "expanded" how long it's going to stick around by a day.

Now I know weather is a real chaotic system. It's hard to predict exactly what's going to happen with a real degree of accuracy. But the pattern described above is pretty consistent with these guys. Cold fronts move in faster and stay longer than these guys say almost every time. There's a part of me that wonders if it's actually an attempt to grab ratings. People don't like bad news and of course shy away when they don't like what they hear. For me, I'd rather get the "unspun" forecast if this is the case. I'm already in the habit of plugging the car in two days before the predict deep-freeze because of this.

Anyway, everyone complains about the weather around here, so in this case I'm just a single voice in the crowd, muffled by a scarf. I just hope the chill lets up a bit by next weekend: skiing in -30 in not my idea of fun. However there are hottubs and apparently a 2:1 female to male ratio going on this trip.

Every cloud has a silver lining?

Withdrawl

It's odd, but lately I've had the urge to renew my World of Warcraft subscription.

It's odd because at first, it was a huge hit with me. Sometime around level thirty I realized a couple of things:

• I had being doing basically the same thing over and over again
• The only way to customize my character was to get "uber-lewtz"
• 90% of the people I was playing with online were ass-hats

I'm still of course playing games, but since my nVidia card went to Silicon Heaven, it's been on my DS (Puzzle Quest) and my laptop (Sword of the Stars). But something is missing. I'm not 100% sure what: it may be the adrenaline rush of FPS combat, the rich and fantastic worlds offered online or the god-like power of an RTS.

That or I'm bored. Or I'm getting old.

With the writer's strike there's never anything all that good on TV (or at least the channels I can afford). So the cable is getting disconnected. With the fried board, I haven't been gaming nearly as much. I have been going to the gym on a pretty regular schedule, and am a quarter of a mile away from running five-k a session, despite the pack-a-day habit.

Dear gods, I can't actually be growing up can I?

Nah. Why else would I have all that Lego?

Embarrassment in my Pants

While I was doing laundry tonight I noticed something about my comfortable jeans.

Almost everyone has at least a pair of these. You know, the jeans that have frayed cuffs, worn knees, paint stains, bleach marks and in my case a huge hole in the back pocket where my cheap wallet has worn through. They're comfortable, lived in, good and trusted friends.

So while sorting through the washing I noticed something pretty dreadful. At some point I had worn a hole in the inseam just below the crotch. Naturally my first reaction was something on the lines of yeah baby! But it quickly dawned on me that the said worn-patch in the fabric was not from anything I could be proud of.

In fact...it was caused by my thighs rubbing together when I walked. This is embarrassing enough. But when the cute girl folding her laundry beside me saw this and realized the cause at the same moment as I did and she giggled I was mortified.

I gotta go check all my pants and learn how to sew re-enforcements in my remaining pants. And go run about 25k at the gym. And get diet pills. And then move to a remote cabin in the wilderness.

Gah...

The Theory

L'l Bro B may have hit upon why my next door neighbor has rage management issues: 'Roid Rage.

It makes perfect sense. Explosive outbursts manifested in violent action, seething rage and (possibly) domestic violence. When B mentioned the possibility, it "clicked".

I never understood the whole 'roid thing. That is I understand why guys want to get big 'n' strong but the stupid lengths they go to. Mind you that goes for plastic surgery, bulimia, excessive wardrobe dysfunction etc. Vanity, pure and simple.

Besides the mantra of "leaving a pretty corpse" doesn't make much sense if along the way you ensure nobody attends the funeral.

Post-It

Well it's already the ninth and I've only posted one entry this year so here's one just for filler. I did manage to get the new place. I shouldn't worry about these things - I have good credit, good references and a steady job - but I always get a tinge of anxiety when I apply for stuff like this. Maybe it's a fear of rejection but I like to think it's my past experiences with paper work.

For example a while back our HR department informed me that I had been paying Alberta Health Care at the family rate instead of the single rate so there we going to give me back the difference. Last week I was informed from the same HR department that they received notice that from AHC that I had not paid for AHC since my departure from my previous job, so I owed them money. I'm now arguing with HR that while I did owe two months' worth the payments for the past six have have been deducted from my pay and obviously not forwarded to said government agency.

This is not the first time this has happened.

Back in university, part of tuition was supposedly going to the government to cover these health premiums. So I was surprised when I received a notice that I owed five years in back premiums. Over the course of six months I attempted to get the University to show it's payment records (which they said they had) to the AHC. They both said it's not their respective problem, it's yours so pay up now. Due to the fact I was a student all those years and had little to no income I did manage to reduce the amount owed to about $2500 which I had to eventually pay. Needless to say anyone from my alma matter who asks me to donate as an alumnus get the cold shoulder.

I'm moving in the middle of next month and due to having five weeks notice actually managed to get movers on a Saturday. This will cost me somewhere around $400 but I'll consider it money well spent. Although I do appreciate their help, my friends tend to get severely injured when helping me move. I consider it taking one for the team.

And I was sick today. I woke up with a slightly sore throat but by the time I did the ritual 3S (shower, shit, shave) routine it felt like someone was ramming low-grade sandpaper down my esophagus with splinter-handled plunger. I was going to email a notice to my boss that I was sick, but when I opened my web mail, I notice several panicked messages regarding that project I keep whinging about. So I went to work, determined that the problems were: 1) I had made an assumption that someone had done some due diligence and 2) apparently I didn't yell loudly enough that having someone fiddle with databases who thinks it works just like "Microsoft Money" is a bad idea. So after breathing heavily on several people I went home and slept. It was surprisingly quiet after all my whining about the noise and it may me reconsider the possibility that I'm just being too sensitive.

The idiot next door who is repeatedly slamming his closet door open and shut puts that to rest at least.

On the Road Again

As promised (threatened, whatever) I'm moving again. I put an application on a new apartment at noon today: seventh floor, concrete building.

So in addition some peace ad/or quiet, I'm actually going to be saving a good chunk of change:

• Rent, including parking, is going from $1250 to $1175. Plus I'll get secured underground parking instead of the open lot with no lights I have now.
• Power and cable is included, so that's another $90 a month in bills gone.
• The new place has a pretty decent gym, so I can drop my $50 a month membership at the one I go to now.

So lessee, that's $215 a month less than the place I'm in now, or $2580 a year. Plus it's quiet (or it least it can't be worse than where I am now. Plus the new place a has a huge balcony.

Unlike last time, I really only looked at the one place. Now normally that sounds stupid, but it was a place that was in competition with the current dive. it lost only because the layout was a bit odd and a tad smaller than where I am now. However right now I have quite a bit of space that's going to waste (my TV stand is about 6 feet from the wall). The storage is better at the new place as well: there is some.

It sounds like I'm trying to convince myself that this is a good idea doesn't it? Trust me, it is. Did I tell you about my neighbor across the hall's new baby? The one with colic?

This time around I'm hiring movers. granted I'm paying two rents for February but I'll get that back with the projected savings. However I'm sure the folks who helped me move last time would be more than willing to do the beer and food thing afterwards even if they don't do any back-straining, leg-breaking work.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in five months. It's kind of scary really. I go to bed at night actually tensing in anticipation of the nocturnal cacophony that has categorized my tenancy here. That is not conducive to a restful slumber. See? I'm so excited I'm bringing out the $2 words! All I need to do now is just survive the next six weeks or so. A ski trip and a blind date over the next while may or may not help that. At least there's the potential that I'll actually be sleeping somewhere else with those.

And yes the gym has been busy since New year's but not as bad as I thought. Maybe people just gave up on trying? However there is new eye candy, which I would miss except that the new place houses swimsuit models who work out there. Okay, why did I not move there in the first place again? Sheesh...

Nooo Yar!

Ah we about to roll into '08. The twenty-first century is well on it's way and still no flying car! Maybe next year.

Much like Capa I'm not making any resolutions this year. I already started running (and lost twelve pounds and probably converted some more from fat to muscle) this year. that's about all I need really. Of course with the thousands making resolutions to start working out the gym is going to be a friggin' zoo for the next six weeks but I'll cope. New eye-candy after all...

However, I do have to get the hell outta dodge when my lease is up. It'll be worth the $2000 I'll have to spend (extra month's rent and moving expenses) to get a decent night's sleep. It's not so much a resolution as an act of a desperate sleep-deprived man.

So tonight it's myself, a take-away Pepper Beef bowl, a bottle of Stoli and the new director's cuts of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (and of course, the Geek) and my all-time favorite, Blade Runner - The Final Cut.

And because I'm single, maybe spend the Christmas money Grandma gave me on (NSFW) something special for my own self.

Thanks Grandma!

Addendum: The new smoking law goes into effect as of midnight. This basically means that yo can't smoke within 5 meters of a door (before it was three). Also it tchnically means that I can't smoke on my balcony (at least as I read it, IANAL) as it is less than five meters from my door. So if any of the 60+ year old bylaw enforcement officers can actually climb up four stories to hand me the ticket I'll pay it.

Sock it to Me!

Well, the whole Christmas show is over and I have plenty of socks. No shock, I guess but overall it was nice but it is also over which is just as good. I ate far too much bad food, relaxed with the family and generally am looking forward to a couple of days on my oddy-knocky.

One surprising event was the dreaded annual Trivial Pursuit game. Most years, it's just something that has to be borne before I could haul my grumbling stomach back to the fold-out couch and snack on Tums all night. This year was quite different it sems. As stated previously the L'il Bros with both there and we turned it into a total trash-talking festival. My Mon and Step-Dad burst a gut, as well as some of the guests who weren't quite sure what to make of it at first but soon got into the mood, or rather, pulled themselves down to our level. It was actually quite enjoyable.

As stated, it's over. Now it's just figuring out what to do with myself over the next few days. I need two new pairs of shoes, my dry-cleaning and I haven't seen my Comic Book Guy in a few weeks. Add going to the gym and you have a pretty dull week (okay, three days really) planned.

Love it!

Gonna Party Like it's 1999

Well, maybe. We'll see how New Year's Eve turns out.

But before that of course is Mid-Winter Holiday Celebration Period formally known as Christmas. I fully admit I Grinched on the whole gift thing this year but I did tell everyone that all that is required for me is a card (and no, not a new video card).

This year it will be Little Bro's G 'n' B down in Lethbridge visiting Mama-San. First time in a few years all three have been in the same province at this time of year so that's cool. And Mom is thrilled silly, natch.

Random stuff. I watched 10 last night on BRAVO! a.k.a. peasant porno. I will fully admit I was drawn to it as I was flipping channels and just happened across a large amount of skin on my new hi-def television screen. I had never seen it before and I was quite surprised it was actually funny.

I also got to thinking that if they made this movie today there would be Christian Right-Wing "Won't Someone Think of the Children" Jihad. There lots of nudity, couples with open relationships, swingers and conspicuous consumption of "grass". The term seems so archaic now, but anyways. We are living in much different times than twenty years ago. And to our detriment I think.

Finally got my copy of "Sword of the Stars". Love that game! Spent my entire day playing it, despite the laundry, shopping, cleaning and sundry chores I have to do, but that's what time off is for. For me at any rate. So the only thing I'm expecting in the mail is my new passport, which I fully intend to use come February. If I'm not moving.

Other Randomness. I'm being "set-up" for a not-a-blind-date. You know, where you "the victim" get invited out to something with a group of people to include "the other victim". This all started as a friend of mine met this girl through an acquaintance. There was much girl talk and the subject came around to finding a nice, honest, quiet guy who doesn't want to party all the time and keeps himself to himself. A description I grudgingly fit well. It got me thinking that it is hard to meet guys like that for the pretty obvious reason they (okay, we) don't get out much. It's pretty close to "Why Can't I Meet a Nice Guy?" to which my answer is my "You do everyday but you aren't attracted to nice guys" rant. There's a legit reasoning that if you want to meet a quiet guy you really have to pay attention.

Still, would be nice if I had a picture....

Well, I have to get packing to go to the Calorie Intake Extravaganza known as Mom's place. You all have yourself a good Christmas (or other holiday, you know who you are). I'll whine, rant and occasionally have something poignant to say before the new year.

Well, two outta three anyways.

... Before the Storm

Aaaand that didn't last long. The needle on the Stupidex at work got buried again.

Why, oh why do people let things get the crisis point before bloody well telling someone about it. Lack of planning on your part yadd yadda yadda.

I need a beach and vodka. Instead I'll go to the gym, come home and drink vodka.

Strange Calm

This is going to sound weird, but I've actually had a couple of good days at work. Now some may invoke the old chestnut of "holiday spirit" as a reason to which I reply "exorcism". It's been slightly less nuts this week so I've had a chance to put a major dent in the task list, explain reality to a few folks who were obviously listening and in general get shit done.

Morale has improved remarkably.

And speaking of the holiday, by now I have usually put aside the bah, humbug mentality this close to Christmas but it seems not this year. I'm waiting for the days off in great anticipation but the actual event of Christmas I don't give a curdled eggnog about. Not that this is a bad thing (for me at any rate) but it does mean the normally low tolerance for carols, mistletoe and other sundries is reading zero on the "Fest-O-Meter". That actually sounds like I'm negative but the reality is very much a sense of indifference. Maybe I'm just old.

And until this moment I didn't make the connection that New Year's Eve is hot on the heels of the Yuletide.

It's entirely possible that my brain turned Buddhist without telling me.

Another One Bites the Dust

Another old friend has passed away: my graphics card on my main computer.

Actually friend may be a bit strong. I picked it up nVidia 7400 (or something) because my old nVidia 4200 (or something) just wasn't up to snuff for a game I wanted to play (Battlefield 2142). It was one of those "suspect" brands that one never hears of. Now normally when I build or upgrade my machine, I get the good stuff, top of the line. This issue was my motherboard doesn't handle PCIE cards and this was the only AGP card out there that had the guts required for the newer games.

By a stroke of luck (and after I had a stroke) I found my old video card. Thank gods I'm a pack-rat. But the new one is toast.

Now my rig is over three years old, the motherboard and CPU at any rate. It's time for a brand new machine. But I always need that one motivator, that one piece of software, that game that makes me build a new pulsing powerhouse of geeky potency.

There's nothing out there now that makes me want to do that. Seriously. The one game that I have on order (and have been waiting for for six weeks) is Sword of the Stars and it's expansion, which runs just peachy on my laptop.

So I'm going to hold off a bit. I will pick up a juicy external hard drive to dump all my files in just in case it's the motherboard going south but I'll hold off on the new rig for a while.

Maybe something like this....

Mind you, I may have the card still under warantee: I seem to recall being in a good mood and buying the extended one....

Sleepy Time

Now this may sound a bit odd, but you're here, so you should have at least some expectation of the possibility.

When I wake up, I have always had the feeling that time had elapsed whilst I slumbered. Regardless of how much time I had been asleep, when I wake up there's a part of me that knows somehow that time was passing I was sleeping.

This week was different for some reason. When I woke up, I felt like I just blinked instead of snored for seven hours. My body, my mind, whatever had no sensation of time having been passed. It's disturbing in a couple of subtle ways. For one, now I'm not sure what is normal. What do other people feel when they wake up? The visceral knowledge of passed time or the instant time-shift from last night to this morning?

In trying to draw a parallel here, the best I could come up with is: imagine you woke up one morning and discovered that you were right-handed. When you went to bed last night, and every previous night of your life, you were left handed. The shift from south-paw to rightie is perfectly perfect; your newly dominant hand feels exactly right (pun intended). But your mind is screaming something different; you have always been right-handed but you know it should be the other way around. That's kind of what I've been feeling like but maybe not to that extreme.

Creepy, with just a hint of nightmare.

Days Off

I've taken today (Monday) and tomorrow off using some of the banked time from the death march, so naturellment I'm sick. Only myself to blame I suppose, L'il Bro B and I got completely inebriated Friday night. You know you're getting old when you get a two day hangover from ten screwdrivers. And a couple of shots of tequila, even if it was the good stuff.

So really today and tomorrow is my weekend, running around doing all that stuff I should have been doing as I lay groaning on the couch.

Whilst lying down with all the lights off, I did get a chance to think about the whole career thing. Of course (see the next to last post) I am a bit bitter about this business. It seems like programming, when you're a corporate developer (build software for internal customers) as opposed to a product developer (build software to sell) really is a no-win situation at most times. I'm wondering if that's a product of the whole "sufficiently advanced technology seems like magic" thing.

Now the above mis-quote always implies a bunch of illiterate tribesmen oo-ing and ah-ing at something like a toaster or a flashlight. I'm beginning to think that this actually applies quite well to modern, urban technological society.

Take your car for example. While some could tinker with an old-style engine, very few could get their head around modern cars. And let's face it, most people turn the key and when it goes "vroom" you're good to go. There's very little comprehension on what exactly that key starts: most people could never figure out what's happening under the hood.

Computers of course, are even bigger ju-ju.

When a person turns on the computer, it really does seem like magic. Words, images sounds, music all happen with no clue as to how it actually happens. Big magic. I could explain some of it (more than most at any rate) but at its heart it's one big magic box.

So people see a computer as the product of the arcane. Maybe not in those words, but if you work in the industry you see the borderline fear and discomfort many people have for computers. As long as they work, they are safe but as soon as something (almost anything) goes wrong there's a general throwing up and wringing of hands (interesting image). The folks like me are called to perform their rituals (as long as the ritual of ctrl-alt-del is invoked). The techs are the grand high wizards and exorcists of digital demons really.

Now take into account all the stories you heard growing up: Aladdin, Merlin, any and all wicked witches in any Disney movie. There are themes that run through almost all of these stories:

1. Magic happens at a snap of the fingers.
2. all magic is inherently dangerous.
3. the practitioners are at best shady characters and at worst outright evil.

It makes me wonder, in the gestalt of the societal mind, if computers and those that actually work with them are at some level just distrusted. On the one hand you have people making demands of the geeks as if they wave their magic wands (or probably their enchanted keyboards) and stuff just happens with an instant miracle. On the other, if a tech says it's not possible or that it "doesn't work like that", there's a reaction that speaks more to distrust rather than an acknowledgment of expertise. As if they think we're holding something back or we have a nefarious scheme to kidnap the princess. Which has an appeal but royalty tends to be high maintenance and have expensive tastes: most geeks don't get paid that much.

Techno-philosophical food for thought at any rate.

I Scare Myself

Umm, okay, wow. That last post down there? That's over the top, even for me.

Maybe, just maybe, it's time to consider if I'm at the right job. I like coding, I like databases, I like coding databases, but being responsible is just too much responsibility.

And I think I'm on the no-fly list so I can't work with Capa. They never return my calls....

It's Called "Post Mortem" for a Reason

Today, after the death march, we had the post-mortem.

For those who think I'm referring to CSI, what actually happens is that when a project is done, all the people involved get together to go over what happened and figure out what went well, what could have gone better and what needs to be done in the future to do things well.

This sounds very productive: constructive criticism accompanied by a willingness to improve is a cornerstone to change. What actually happens is another matter.

While I've been to an occasional post-mortem that had to be broken up by the riot squad, they are the (surprisingly) exception rather than the rule. What normally happens is that the technical folks identify that they succeeded (except where obviously they didn't) in spite of the ridiculous timelines, nebulous and ever-changing requirements and dearth of tools which should be standard but are actually not in the budget.

And of course the people who set the timelines, requirements and budgets are present. It's always a laugh when they get defensive and try to justify their short-sightedness and sundry other petty politics and stupidity with the following standard come-backs:

1. We Need to be Competitive: This usually means that the competition did "it" already and we are just following along, despite the fact that the competition has probably working on "it" for the past couple of years.
   
2. Our Goals Were Well Defined: while this may be true, it is only so in a narrow sense. The goal is to make money by spending none of it and investing the lives of our minions is cheaper than actually planning something. That would be extraneous to the goal and waste of everyones time as the actual requirements will change at a rate that could power a small community for a decade. Besides, they get the bonuses while the techs are denied holidays because of operational requirements.
   
3. It's Part of our Corporate Vision: Same as the above, really, but the boss's boss gets the bonus. the same executive who got shit-faced at a conference or other public event and "announced" the product to the press and gave a definitive deadline. All because he read something about in the in-flight magazine.
   
4. Our Success is Measured at the Corporate Level, not the Individual Level: If that was true I'd be making the same salary and bonuses as the VP of marketing. next.
   
5. It's a Team Effort: One I'm starting to despise as it sounds more and more like the people in charge are putting a fix in.
   
6. What Happened to the IT Work Ethic?: First off, the slaving-at-a-keyboard for 80 hours a week burst with the Internet Dot Com bubble. Most programmers I know just see it as a job. Not to mention in those days the place you worked for provided for food, drink, shelter, recreation etc so their technical people had no reason to leave. When I don't have to pay for my coffee, we'll talk. Besides, while we were working late at night, the sponsor was being wined and dined at a mansion in Spain.
   
7. We Have an Entrepreneurial Spirit: Now I understand that there is a great amount of drive to succeed with a entrepreneurial initiative. Much of that derives from the fact that the very high risk with a high level of personal investment is accompanied by a possible very high reward. I earn a salary, so my reward is pretty damn low for the investment I'm being forced to make.

I could go on, but even I can only be so bitter (hard to believe I know). I still enjoy post-mortems as it's the only real opportunity to see men in $3000 suits look uncomfortable. And I get to make them feel that way. As for the career limiting move factor, I've mad more CLMs in a year than most people do in a lifetime. I consider it a "perk".

My God, It's Full of Pixels

Got the new TV. Niiiiiiice.....

Of course the first movie was The Incredibles and of course it looked fantastic. Once I figured out how to configure the DVD player to work with the TV.

Now, of course, is trying to figure out if I get a PS3 or X Box 360.

Dammit! I need more cash.