Case of Acute Melodrama

Er, sorry about my over-acting yesterday. But to be fair being told that a ailment children commonly get without any reprecussions could do some serious damage to the ol' ticker is a tad disconcerting.

Besides, I think my doctor is a quack. I have Thrush, which is basically a reaction to penicillin. This was diagnosed by my Mom. The doc had me go for blood, urine and EKG tests.

I'm a staunch supporter of state-sponsored medical care, but jeez.

Holidays! Yay! Tanning! Food! And, well, it's rumoured that the nudie bars in Ontario allow for, well ..... lap dances. I've never had one so fully intend to try it out.

Strictly for research you understand.

In other news, I think when I get back I'll try out EVE Online. Like Planetside, I tried the free trial a while back and didn't like it. Looks like they've improved the UI (user interface not unemployment insurance) and I've been doing some research on new player guides etc.

I have an inherent, nay genetic need to fly in three dimensions and blow shit up. 2D just ain't cuttin' it, man!

So in the meantime, I'm just house cleaning, shopping for iPod accessories and getting my slack on. I may do some updates while away (I understand that there's these things called "Internet Cafes".) because frankly I just can't go cold turkey. I needs me my Internets tubes.

Vacation Plot Twists

A couple of twists as I start my two-week vacation.

First off I'm going to SPAMALOT! Yup, extreme geekiness ensues.

Secondly, I'm still not over the whole strep-throat thing. Went to the doctor yesterday and he wants me to go get some tests done as there is a risk of Rheumatic fever, which is basically damaged heart valves. I won't get the test results until I get back from vacation. So I won't be spending the entire time worrying about that. Right.

I always thought it was the smoking that was gonna do me in.

Clothes, Booze and my Family

First off, hats off to Capa for getting myself and other delinquent writer wanna-bees off of our collective butts and forcing (inflicting?) deadlines on us in the near future. More details later.

So I started the replacement of my stolen clothing today. Normally, I am not a "shopping" person. I employ the time honored technique of "get in, grab stuff, get out". On a side note this methodology does not work well in relationship to, well, relationships.

Of course the tough part is replacing shirts. Pants aren't a problem: black slacks, no pleats. But I've worked hard on building a collection of the nerdiest hipster-doofus bowling style shirts in town. Those are hard to come by. The ol' standby, Winners, just didn't have anything. So after hitting 5 shops I managed to get four shirts nobody else on the planet would be seen dead in. Eight more to go.

I still haven't cracked all that beer. Vodka and lime is just too damn refreshing plus an order of magnitude less gas than beer. So I'm giving it away as presents before it goes sour.

People don't take kindly to random strangers handing them a case of beer and running away. They tend to call the police. You would think that Stampede would be the perfect time to give away booze....

Because my family is essential insane, the past two days has been booking and rebooking hotel rooms, flights and figuring out what the hell is going on next week. My little brother intended to stay with my other little brother, but since it's 40+ degrees in T.O., he wanted to share my hotel room. Because of the late date, changing my room would have doubled the price for an extra bed, so I told him to get his own room. They guy makes more money than me, sheesh. Cheap bastard. Er, sorry Mom.

Next week is just two days of work, a couple of days of prep and house-cleaning (nothing worse than coming home to, well, what it normally looks like when I'm here). Needs me a new bathing suit (or two), as the Mediterranean salt apparently rots nylon. Despite the lunacy that is known as my family, I'm actually going to have a good time at this reunion. After all, this is the side of the family that has rum for breakfast.

Addendum

Sweet! LightWave 9 finally came out! I know what I'm spending an outrageous amount of money on when I get back!

I May Have Been Hasty

Ummm, so I sent an email to the girl I was seeing and had thought was giving me a brush off. I wished her the best of luck and all that.

Turns out that she wasn't doing the brush off thing. She's still interested in seeing me. So I left it open to make contact again.

Going back to the whole narrative imperative thing, the usual plot line is like I imagined: boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy at first then boy says/does something totally innocent and completely wrong. Girl makes boy nuts.

This on the other hand is a story I haven't been in yet.

We'll see.

Tell Me When It's Over

Truly Single again....

The past couple of weeks, the girl I was seeing kept breaking dates (with, at the time, seemed quite legitimate excuses). I attempted to make a date this Sunday, but she wanted to "play it by ear".

Apparently "play it by ear" produces a deafening silence.

Of course, it would be nice if she just told me she didn't want to continue. Not having the guts to tell me tells me either she's not quite ready to date again yet or she just doesn't have the guts to be honest.

Sure, feelings would be hurt, but I'm a grown up. Well, parts of me anyway. Dating is two people getting to know each other in order to determine if they want a future together. If one of them doesn't believe so, then it's over: wish each other well and part ways.

So I'm disappointed: not that she didn't want to see me anymore, but that she didn't respect myself or herself enough to just tell me. So no loss on my part.

In other news, the big family reunion is next week: should be fun (yet expensive) as I haven't seen many of the family out East more than once in 20 years. Plus, of course, it's 2 weeks off.

And apparently my cousins have single friends.....

Catch Your Bliss

A short report, but today I'm feeling quite blissful. All of my perceived troubles and woes just seem, well, inconsequential today. Maybe it's the nice day, the great workout I had, the drugs kicking in....

Anyways, just thought I'd record these thoughts as this is pretty much a "banner day" emotionally.

And also mark the point where it will inevitably just go straight down that creek...

Now, now, no need to be negative, Moby....

Today's Plot Twists

The Saga Continues!

The Clerks: Uncensored DVD is a bad print: keeps getting an "Unable to Read Disk" error. Mind you, I think my DVD player (aka Playstation 2) is dying a slow death, so I'll try it on my computer. So much for a bargain.

My date cancelled tonight. She has a sore throat so I can really empathise with that. Really hope it isn't strep. And no, we haven't done anything that would point to me as the carrier (darn it).

My current project may be cancelled or completely change again.

Maybe that's what I need to do with this blog: report my life as a series of convoluted plot twists and unlikely coincidences.

Narrative Imperative

There are some who think life has patterns. And everyday observations tend to substantiate this: things happen over and over again (almost) the same every time. There are many theories as to why this happens in life.

For example, there are those who firmly believe Murphy's Laws are an integral part of the universe: that when things can go wrong, they will. Spin me back to 1992, and I would whole-heartedly agree. Now, after observing a couple of things that have actually gone right, I don't believe that's how the universe works (most times anyways).

Then there are those who think - for whatever reason, from religion to physical causality - that everything that occurs is predestined. From the big-bang/six-day origin to the big-crunch/apocalypse, nothing is left to chance and that every occurrence can be predicted given enough divine/sub-atomic knowledge. I'm disinclined to believe this, but keep an open mind (from a science end, not a gospel end).

Still others believe in Karma: the idea that what good or evil you do in the universe, the universe delivers right back at ya. While this is a feel-good philosophy followed by some genuinely nice people, that theory does not, in the least, match my experiences.

For me, my causality viewpoint is Narrative Imperative. I actually couldn't find a link that describes it all that well, but basically it's like this: human behavior and experience follows common patterns (narrative) almost without fail (imperative). Ever hear someone say there are no new stories, that they all have been written and anything "new" is just rehashing old plots? That's the way the human mind works. Everyone knows that you don't go back into the house where the crazy, chainsaw wielding maniac is, but how many movies does this occur in? The human species seems programmed (genetically and by their society) to expect certain patterns of behavior.

So in my life, these patterns range from the mundane to the profound. For example, I know that when I park my car beside a truck with monster truck tires, I'm going to get a ding in my door. That's a pretty common one. A more obscure one is that when I start falling for a girl, there's a fifty-fifty chance that, over the course of a weekend, they'll meet someone, fall madly and passionately in love, and want to be with only with him. This is discovered when she tells me all about it. All about it. Every. Intimate. Detail. And then says it's great to have a friend she can tell this to.

No it hasn't happened lately, just saying.

So you get the idea.

The other part of the narrative imperative doesn't relate to patterns but rather is a way seeing how unexpected events occur. Human beings (well, some human beings) plan how things are supposed to go. Sometimes they go as planned, sometimes they... don't.

Which brings us back to me.

If you take a look at the "stories" in my life: my life from birth to today, my time with a person or at a job, or even the little events that make up the day, it seems like in many cases, there are "plot twists".

Some Examples:

I need to get alot of work done and I get strep throat. Once again, I must race against the clock to get things done, despite complications, to get to that happy ending.

I go to pick up my dry cleaning, which is basically all my work clothes, and the proprietor says they were stolen. He'll refund the money if I replace them (12 shirts, 3 pants) but in the meantime I'm down to tier 3 clothes.

I'm dressed in a ridiculous outfit to go to a party and get pulled over by the police not once, but twice.

When I applied to architecture school, I was first on the waiting list. While getting some courses to cover some bases, I got drunk for year and flunked out. While trying to get into Journalism school, I got my English degree. When I got a decent job out of school, I got laid off 3 months later. When my two businesses started to pick up, the cultural and political climates changed 180 degrees, leaving me homeless.

This kind of stuff happens to everyone (almost everyone). But to me, sometimes it seems I'm character in a story, and these things just come out of some cosmic author's word processor. Plot twists, then, in a what is normally a pretty straight life.

Not sure if it's good or bad (sometimes it's both). All I know is that when the last chapter ends, my name is in the Author's acknowledgements.

Some royalties would be nice too.

That Wacky Horseman!

So I've had a sore throat for a week. So I had problems swallowing carrots today at lunch.

So it turns out I have strep throat. Which means I'm quarantined for 24 hours. That's a pain in the ass, as last week's training means I have two weeks' worth of work to do in four days. Three now. And I can't go to the gym. I haven't been since Friday and my butt is widening to fit the chair as we speak.

Not sure where I got it though. My best guess was actually at training last week. The place where we were edjumacated was one of those offices in a mall. A mall that is petty much an informal homeless shelter. And handles on the doors to get in the mall gave me the heebie-jeebies. Yuck.

So it means I will be stuck at home tomorrow. And taking penicillin. Woo.

Yuck.

Long Weekend Rundown

Howdy y'all.

Oh dear gods it must be nearing Stampede...

Anyways Mom's B-day was good. Despite the fact that my little bro and I dragged our dear Mother to the pro shop to get her some new golf clubs, she insisted we don't (insisted meaning she said something along the lines of "Oh, don't waste your money on me!". And we learned long ago to just surrender) and get her a bike helmet instead. We tricked her into getting it at Costco, and paid for the major impulse buys she had.

The clubs would have been cheaper. But it's my Mom (awwwww). Capa, the obligatory "mama's boy" comment if you please....

Other than that, rummaged through the various discount bins and picked up this, one of these (Ach! Zombies!) and found this for $7. I've always tried to pick that last one up but it's always $60+.

Oh yeah and new rice cooker. Mmmm... ricey goodness.

So I have a slightly deeper farmer tan, a sore throat (hope it's a cold and not strep, which apparently is going around) and deep desire to win the lottery and live a life of debauchery. Okay, maybe one debauch then just be lazy. I can do that.

Alright a couch-potato/gaming slug. I know my limits.