O Solo Gringo

I'm back from Ixtapa!

Not a bad trip all said and done. The primary goal was to (finally) get my open water certification for scuba diving, which I managed. I liked the second day of diving (I just about threw up on the first) and if nothing else gives me something to do when I'm on my next vacation.

Last time on a beach I was riddled with angst, despair and loneliness (and turned 40). This time I just read all my books, got a tan instead of a burn, didn't drink nearly as much and just chillaxed. The days were filled with sitting on the beach, the night with, well, TV. That may sound like an odd thing to do, but since I don't watch TV at home, it (sorta if you think about it) makes sense on vacation.

Despite that, I think vacation nights would be much better bringing someone along. Traveling solo is usually undertaken by those who are outgoing, adventurous and make friends easily. In other words, the opposite of me, at least in that regard. I'm still going to do it, because lying on a beach and swimming in the ocean is relaxing and as I tend towards the hyper-tense, I need that sort of thing.

And next time I'm bring more books. I went through one just on the trip down there. Oh, and actually use the Spanish-language software I bought so it doesn't take me a week to figure out "On y dos" doesn't mean hello.

Coincidence?

Got an email from Spike today after an eight months communication blackout. Which is weird because I was wondering what she was up to the other day when I was reviewing the blog.

I was actually pleasantly surprised. I think it has been about a year since we first met (or maybe off by a couple of weeks). Anyways, I'm wondering if she was doing a bit of a year-in-review herself. The note was brief, indicating that she had an interesting few months but "didn't want to bore you with the details".

Since I'm a nice guy I told her to bore away. Which kinda sounds like I'm encouraging her to make a career change to excavation or something now that I think about it. Anyways. I gave her the quick update (I've been working), asked her how the dogs are and that's about it. Should be interesting to see what she has to say but even more so, when she actually says it.

Would I see her again? It would depend on her of course. I still like Spike. She's one cool dudette. And with hindsight, I think we share a common personality quirk: too independent for our own good sometimes. That's about it really. Cautiously optimistic. Any kind of optimistic for me is progress.

We last left our hero.....

I may be updating this again. But first I need to buy a new suit. Not that has anything to do with the blog itself but I still gotta.

Then again, I may not, depends how bored I am.....

Let me explain. Or rather, let me ramble and there should be a nugget of info or two in the verbal dross.

On Friday I was IM chatting with a co-worker, let's call her Chefette (again, a fake name to protect the innocent. Which probably means I'll have to cook up something for all my co-workers). We were discussing some stuff that happened over a group lunch (sushi) and somehow the conversation turned to writing. She complimented me on my writing ability (paltry at the moment) and asked if I had a blog, so naturally I referred her here. A little reluctantly as I mentioned I had taken a hiatus.

So, I went home and started reading the old entries. It is a classic writing trick: put something together, then put it a way for a while to get some distance. Pick it up again then cringe at spelling mistakes, mixed metaphors and general lack of any literary ability whatsoever. At least that has been my experience.

And there are some cringe worthy entries here. But there is also a pattern.

This entire endeavor was undertaken with two goals in mind:

1. Keep writing, no matter how innocuous the subject material.
2. Keep a kind of on-line diary so I could go back and see what my life was like "back then"

"Back Then" I'd say I was pretty depressed. A litany of "I'm sick, I'm bored, I'm stressed, I'm horny" were the obvious main themes. Up until about a year ago.

With hindsight almost as good as my 20/15 post-surgery peepers, I think it is fair to see that my lack of satisfaction at work (balls out full-of-hate at times) was more of a contributor (facilitator?) than I had previously thought. Physically, stress kills you immune system, so the string of cold after cold makes sense. The lack of motivation as well. And the boredom. And the frustration with everything Ad nauseum.

I'm doing pretty good now.

I am sick at the moment, but that's really because of the fact that I work for an airline. Haven't had a cold since last winter (although my stomach is still trying to kill me). Boredom is still a factor in my life but not as much as it had been. I'm getting out more (i.e. I'm getting out) and even though we just went through hell on a big project at work (with some additional infernal influence for the next while) reading what I had gone through in previous jobs really put it in context. It wasn't bad at all, all thing considered.

So I'm headed to Ixtapa the week after next (finally getting the darn SCUBA cert). This trip I'm actually going to do some of the things to get me out of the hotel bar: surfing, jungle canopy tour etc. Of course I may not, but only if I find something else to amuse myself. Oh, and I'm bringing SPF 60 and a paint roller this time.

The question of course is: am I going to keep this (Random 0) rolling? I don't know. It depends on whether or not I have something to say. Contentment after all is the absence of conflict, which drives almost all narrative. Not much of that around here.

Of course, next year I'm finally buying a house, so I'm sure that will add some pandemonium in my life. In the meantime, when I feel I have have something to say rather than just report, I'll come back here.