I Scare Myself

Umm, okay, wow. That last post down there? That's over the top, even for me.

Maybe, just maybe, it's time to consider if I'm at the right job. I like coding, I like databases, I like coding databases, but being responsible is just too much responsibility.

And I think I'm on the no-fly list so I can't work with Capa. They never return my calls....

It's Called "Post Mortem" for a Reason

Today, after the death march, we had the post-mortem.

For those who think I'm referring to CSI, what actually happens is that when a project is done, all the people involved get together to go over what happened and figure out what went well, what could have gone better and what needs to be done in the future to do things well.

This sounds very productive: constructive criticism accompanied by a willingness to improve is a cornerstone to change. What actually happens is another matter.

While I've been to an occasional post-mortem that had to be broken up by the riot squad, they are the (surprisingly) exception rather than the rule. What normally happens is that the technical folks identify that they succeeded (except where obviously they didn't) in spite of the ridiculous timelines, nebulous and ever-changing requirements and dearth of tools which should be standard but are actually not in the budget.

And of course the people who set the timelines, requirements and budgets are present. It's always a laugh when they get defensive and try to justify their short-sightedness and sundry other petty politics and stupidity with the following standard come-backs:

1. We Need to be Competitive: This usually means that the competition did "it" already and we are just following along, despite the fact that the competition has probably working on "it" for the past couple of years.
   
2. Our Goals Were Well Defined: while this may be true, it is only so in a narrow sense. The goal is to make money by spending none of it and investing the lives of our minions is cheaper than actually planning something. That would be extraneous to the goal and waste of everyones time as the actual requirements will change at a rate that could power a small community for a decade. Besides, they get the bonuses while the techs are denied holidays because of operational requirements.
   
3. It's Part of our Corporate Vision: Same as the above, really, but the boss's boss gets the bonus. the same executive who got shit-faced at a conference or other public event and "announced" the product to the press and gave a definitive deadline. All because he read something about in the in-flight magazine.
   
4. Our Success is Measured at the Corporate Level, not the Individual Level: If that was true I'd be making the same salary and bonuses as the VP of marketing. next.
   
5. It's a Team Effort: One I'm starting to despise as it sounds more and more like the people in charge are putting a fix in.
   
6. What Happened to the IT Work Ethic?: First off, the slaving-at-a-keyboard for 80 hours a week burst with the Internet Dot Com bubble. Most programmers I know just see it as a job. Not to mention in those days the place you worked for provided for food, drink, shelter, recreation etc so their technical people had no reason to leave. When I don't have to pay for my coffee, we'll talk. Besides, while we were working late at night, the sponsor was being wined and dined at a mansion in Spain.
   
7. We Have an Entrepreneurial Spirit: Now I understand that there is a great amount of drive to succeed with a entrepreneurial initiative. Much of that derives from the fact that the very high risk with a high level of personal investment is accompanied by a possible very high reward. I earn a salary, so my reward is pretty damn low for the investment I'm being forced to make.

I could go on, but even I can only be so bitter (hard to believe I know). I still enjoy post-mortems as it's the only real opportunity to see men in $3000 suits look uncomfortable. And I get to make them feel that way. As for the career limiting move factor, I've mad more CLMs in a year than most people do in a lifetime. I consider it a "perk".

My God, It's Full of Pixels

Got the new TV. Niiiiiiice.....

Of course the first movie was The Incredibles and of course it looked fantastic. Once I figured out how to configure the DVD player to work with the TV.

Now, of course, is trying to figure out if I get a PS3 or X Box 360.

Dammit! I need more cash.

Just Breathe

Wow, it's done. The death march on our lovely piece of software is out the door. I'd like to say good riddance but there was a bunch of stuff we had to pull to make the deadline and our "sponsors" want it in by Christmas. However we'll be doing it my way. There are problems with the newly deployed system because of (approved) shortcuts that is taking up time.

It's done when it's done. Not to mention I have a very overworked team at the moment that really just want to coast until the holidays and I can't blame them. They're not used to this pace. I don't want them to get used to it. That of course means that the sponsors can't get used the pace. I've been using the term "unsustainable level of effort" quite a bit lately, so we'll see how that goes.

On the home front, well I haven't been home all that much. Yesterday was the first day in over six weeks I've done a top-to-bottom house cleaning. I have a pretty high tolerance for things getting ... disheveled but I have my limits.

I acquired a nice little Lego box that is just hint of things to come. Looks like my favorite toy company is waking up to the fact that they make toys, and not model kits.

I've also purchased, but have to receive, a pretty high end panel TV through work. A little pricey, so I'm thinking I need to cancel cable to afford it No great loss: I watch DVDs and my mind is loosening up a bit with the whole downloading thing. Software and music I will still buy: having worked in both industries, I know that there are some lame arguments involving the folks who actually make the music or software, but they hold true. Of course the record companies (and the MafIAAs) are fighting a losing battle but I have faith that straight economics and consumer backlash will change that up.

TV is a different matter though. I know, it's a double standard but the sheer amount of crap on the idiot box is astounding. Those few shows I enjoy have one or more of: random air time and date, late broadcast slot or cancelled after the first season. Seriously, BSG 3.0 should have been out a long while ago.... And the prices for boxed sets of other shows I want to watch cost more than a medium-quality DVD player.Don't these people want to make money off of me? C'mon, as a consumer I'll pony up some dough but we have to meet somewhere in the middle.

On the romantic front, I'm more inclined to get a dog than a girlfriend. No, not for that you friggin' pervs. I've had it with dating. Twenty years of serial monogamy with no result? Yup, time to hang 'em up. Take that last sentence as you will.

Anyways, I have to hit the gym (running routine to re-establish) and work for a couple of minutes. When I'm back, I'm going to look into this whole "torrent" thing.

It's Been a While

Hey folks, just checking in.

The last few weeks has been, shall we say, a mite? tad? touch? busy with the much-afore mentioned death march. This is being written mere minutes before I go back to work for the final push. It is my sincere hope that this really is the last weekend I work for a while, but that's my fight (and I hope I actually can win).

In the meantime, November sees three paycheques for myself. As I'm on a bi-weekly schedule for that good ol' envelope, this happens two months of the year. So I spent it! Well most of it anyways. In a week a pick up a new 32" plasma 1080p TV. I got a pretty good deal for a pretty high-end slab o' radiation.

This, of course, will be the thin end of the wedge. With the TV, I'll need to get a DVD player that matches. L'il bro B found one that does a great job of cleaning up the signal for regular DVDs for 1080p TVs. Looks amazing. Granted it's not a big deal if most of your viewing pleasure consists of cartoons but what the heck.

Then there's the who "next-gen" console possibility. I've been trying to decide if I should get a PS3 or the X-box 360. Now that the PS3 price has fallen a bit they can actually be compared. In my view there's no clear winner yet (and believe me I tried to pick one). It's a simple case of not enough software for each. Last time I had to chose I went with a PS2 instead of the original X-box. Now I don't regret the choice (having replaced the PS2 recently) but at the time, it looked like the PS2 was going to be all about sport games: all the "cool kids" were exclusive to X-box. So I'll be holding off for now. Guitar Hero is just as fun on the last gen as it is on the next gen.

Besides, I want to get a Wacom tablet.....

Post-Halloween Nostalgia

The day after Halloween. For myself (and the little bro's) it was probably more memorable than the costumes of the day before. You see, L'il Bro G had a completely different candy retention policy as did myself and L'il Bro B.

In times past, by now Li'l Bro B and I had scarfed down the more desirable treats, leaving only the remnants of such things as raisins and sunflower seeds. With stomachs heaving we would be satiated.

For about twenty-four hours.

Li'l Bro G on the other hand would inventory his loot. I'm not kidding, he would count and write down how much he had of each type of goodie and then decrement the count as they were consumed. He also rationed what he had so it would more than likely last until Christmas.

And of course, there was always the danger of predatory scavengers a.k.a. his brothers.

The Easter Bunny could have taken lessons from G. He would stuff sweets in nooks and crannies that the DEA wouldn't have thought of. He would have hid Mars bars on Mars if only he had the technology. Inevitably, one or two items would be discovered (after a long and purposeful search) and scarfed down immediately.

This would provoke a conflict when G found what was missing. And he checked every damned day. Accusations quickly followed by outright denials devolved into finger pointing. Then the first sugar-fueled punch would be thrown.

The damage to our dental work came sweets, but not in the form of cavities. A Hot Wheels track section could take out an eye. A thrown baseball could cripple at twenty feet. Noses were broken with a well placed throw of a Weeble. Thinking back, my dad could have saved a lot of trips to the hospital by buying Nerf products.

By the middle of November, detente would be enforced by dad invoking the tried and true ritual of "Santa only brings presents to Good Boys". This would signal the start of the Cold War.

Assets moved about in a byzantine method of redirection, falsified information and dirty tricks. Alliances would be struck only to be the victim of double- and triple-crosses before either party even left the room. The pall of fear and mistrust came a full thirty days after Halloween and went much deeper and invoked a greater sense of dread.

By the end of November, we had three powers fighting and aligning over a limited pool of resources, a la 1984. But December was close at hand. With it came candy canes. And G's meticulous record of the number and location of the same on the tree.

And we knew when the others were sleeping....