Moby's Year in Review

Again, sorry for the long period between posts. The move, Christmas, new girlfriend and general winter wonderland crap means I have a lot to blog about but no time to write. So I'm writing this at work.

As the year end approaches, it's time to sit back, relax, fall asleep and snort yourself awake. After that it's time to look back over the past year and see what was good, what was bad, and what was, well life.

Having read over the last year's blogs, I have come to one conclusion: I am bored a lot. Maybe it's adult onset ADD, maybe it's being thirty something and single but it seems to happen quite a bit. For those of you who continue reading this blog, my profound thanks: your life must be nearly as dull as mine.

However there have been some highlights. The entire first half of 2006 seemed a waste. It wasn't until July that things got interesting. The trip to Toronto, while not garnering me a new job, allowed me to acquaint myself with the cool side of my family. And experience lap-dances. And cottages. All good one and all (did I mention lap-dances?).

Fall saw a return to the groove (or more appropriately the rut). Work frustrations multiplied, friends stood divided, things were added and subtracted and because I want to over-extend this theme, I tried to get to the square root of all things.

December though: if I whinged about being bored for eleven months, December more than made up for it. The move in with my little brother was finally executed (and considering what's been happening over the past weeks, my brother may be executed as well), Christmas meant the yearly frenzy of shopping, hatred of all things festive and spending too much time traveling. And I met Laura. And fell hard for Laura.

The end of the year brought this very unexpected surprise into my life. I have never yet met a woman I felt so completely at ease with. How many women out there are smart, funny, fun, sexy, educated and think I am too! Seriously, three, maybe six? At most?

So yeah, falling hard and fast. Moby is smitten. She knitted me mittens. That's unprecedented. There's a lot of things that have been happening between us that have no precedent for either of us. We're both pretty relationship challenged, so it's like we're sixteen (and I am not looking forward to my next cell-phone bill).

Could be happier only if I won the lottery.

So As I move into 2007 with a new place (and if nothing else my brother will inspire some writing, a murder mystery perhaps?), a great new girlfriend (which sounds odd as she is older than me) a possible new job and a new laptop (coming soon) 2007 will prove to be less boring than 2006. I am a firm believer that "interesting times" is a curse, this year it may not be.

Happy New Year. Maybe for real.

Moving

The move to my brother's place is on Saturday. I've taken Thursday and Friday off to pack. I have alot of crap.

Discounting the huge volume of Lego, I still have alot of crap. Going through just my CDs, DVDs and software took up about 6 hours to get sorted and packed up.

Just finished cleaning out the storage room. Oh, the humanity!

Next up: finish laundry, drop off dry-cleaning and clothing donations, buy more garbage bags, disconnect the modem and cable box, clean up for a date tonight (big smile on my face, and that's the only one I cracked today) drop off and set up cable box and modem at the new place then go on a date.

Tomorrow: pack up clothing and kitchen, finish off living room, collapse in heap. Then the actual move Saturday. Oh and somewhere in there I have to finish my Christmas shopping.

I seem to recall last time I moved I swore to hire movers.

'Tis The Season

To go postal, falalalala-lalalala.....

Oi. Christmas shopping. The time of year where any modicum of intelligence flees from people of all races, creeds and colours. You know what I mean, the drivers are focused on getting to the mall, the shoppers are blind to traffic because they need to find that perfect present, and the malls. My gods, the malls.

This year I tried to organize a rota with my brothers: we would each get a sub-set of the super-sized family, but presents only for those folks and then put all our names on the card. Simple, effective and time saving.

Didn't work: one doesn't want to get gifts for some parts of the extended family, another hates Christmas shopping so much he refuses to leave the house. Meanwhile, it was me who had to go emergency shopping, go to everyone in Calgary who am I related to and pick up their presents and deliver them to the middle of bald ass prairie to give to my mother. She of course traded off her gifts which I intend to distribute to the family in Calgary by the "Come and pick it up your own damn self!" methodology.

Bah. Humbug.

Add to that I'm trying to actually get packed to move on Saturday. The end result would be the aforementioned "postal" thing.

Except...

Her name is Laura and it is kind of scary how well we get along how compatible we seem to be and how much we are into each other so very, very quickly. We've only been on two dates, but there's chemistry, sparks, philosophy and little family health thrown in to boot.

I won't go into the sappy stuff, but it's good sappy stuff. She loves Shakespeare. Those that know me know what kind of effect that has to have. I even went so far as to send her links to the writing site (and there's a new interview here as well). And to here. But I had second thoughts on this one: there's alot of things here that don't paint me in the best light, so I asked her to hold off. And, amazingly, I do trust her to hold off: she's an honest gal, right up front.

So, right now I have to update the resume, finish the bloody Christmas shopping, pack away some stuff so I can talk to Laura again.

Yup, Moby is genuinely smitten. Damn if it isn't a Christmas miracle.

Momentary Pause

Hey All!

As predicted, last weekend's bored state was soon followed by a hellacious week at work. But today may be somewhat of a banner day.

I had an off site meeting that may provide great opportunities for the future (no not Amway).

I had another off site meeting, which was an actual date that may also provide great opportunities for the future (no not a Russian Bride).

Tomorrow I have to start packing, do emergency Christmas shopping and go into work to fix yet another emergency caused by someone else's stupidity. So the "May you live in interesting times" curse continues on.

But tonight, well tonight went ... well.

Wow, I'm Bored

That actually hasn't in quite a while. Well, I was bored out of my skull the first five days after surgery, but that was induced because I was blind. Now I'm actually bored.

This is never good.

It always seems that after a boring day, the following weeks are a constant barrage where I wish I was bored.

That is all. See? Boring.

Popeye

So a week after the surgery, I have 20/20 vision in one eye and an inflammation in the other. So it was 50% successful. I know I shouldn't be worried but Murphy tends to make me his bitch. In the meantime I can't drive, which would suck if it wasn't -40 outside.

The surgery itself took only about twenty minutes here's what happened:

They sit you down in a dentist chair and make you look at this light on a machine above you. Then they dump about a gallon of anesthetic onto the eyeball which makes it both insensitive and unable to move (which is important).

Then they clamp your eyelid open, a la A Clockwork Orange. The patient then makes a joke about the movie and the medical staff groans and informs the patient that everyone says that.

This makes it very freaky when the doctor takes what is actually a very tiny spatula but looks friggin huge and you can see it scrape the layer of goo off your eyeball. You can also feel pressure on the eye which makes you little sick to your stomach.

After that they wash off the eyeball with water or something. Now it's time for zapping. And I do mean zapping. The laser makes a helluva noise: I actually jumped quite a bit when it first went off. It's not a constant laser, rather it pulses away a micro-millimeter of eyeball at a time.

Which brings us to the gross part. When the laser is zapping, you can smell roasted eyeball. What's worse is that you can feel sizzling little bits of eyeball landing on your forehead and cheeks.

I'll leave you with that image. Time for a fried egg sandwich.

Three Hours to Go

This may be my last message if things don't go well. Laser eye surgery in three hours.

I wasn't nervous yesterday, but I am a bit now. After all, you keep hearing that you aren't supposed to point laser pointers and similar devices into peoples eyes and here I go paying a large amount of money to have someone do that for me.

The real worry is the post-op stuff. It sounds like I need to get at least four different kinds of eye drops, one of which I need to use every fifteen minutes for the first week. Which will suck.

I am glad I am getting this done though. Barring the week of "discomfort" (which can be anything from dry, itchy sensations to searing, blinding pain) I think it's well worth it.

I've been wearing glasses since I was twelve, which means after twenty-six years, I'll be free. After getting my first pair, my father said, and I quote "If you break those I'll kill you". And ever since then spectacles have been an annoying part of my life.

Socially, well, nowadays there's a certain acceptance of specs, but in the seventies and eighties, if you wore glasses you were a geek/nerd/spaz/loser. Okay I am a geek but now I wonder if wearing glasses was a major contributor to that. When you have specs, physical activity of any kind is petty restricted so the only real alternative is pursuing more cerebral activities.

And glasses just ain't sexy.

About ten years ago I started wearing contacts, which I fully admit is a vanity thing. You can actually do something more physical with them on (skiing etc) but the level of maintenance required is considerable. And of course once in a while they decide to jump out of your head, which causes all kinds of trouble.

So after all is said and done (and dropped) the cost of the procedure is what I spend in about five years, and the folks at the clinic said at my current rate I won't need glasses again for about twenty years. Add to that miracle of waking up every morning and not having to fumble around for specs or go through the ritual of trying to get the damn things in. Add to that, I can do stuff, travel and generally walk around without having to worry about breakage, loss or the pure social outcast aspect and it's well worth it.

I know, I'm trying to convince myself here. But those who have been saddled with required eye-ware know what I am talking about. Those with 20/20 vision have no idea, no idea how much having to wear these things affects you.

So I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe.

The Blogger Has No Clothes

That would be because I am on vacation. Well, not "vacation" so much as days off. Surgery is on Wednesday but Monday and Tuesday is supposed to be time to sit back, relax and stew in my own juices.

Not turning out that way though.

So as some of you know, my little brother is in a bit of a pickle. After moving to Calgary from Toronto in August, he broke up with said girlfriend recently, and now has a lease on a very nice apartment which he can no longer afford. So I'm moving in to help him out. I won't be saving any money (actually I will be paying more money for rent and parking) but it's an improvement: en suite dishwasher and laundry, underground parking, hardwood floors etc.

But it means I have to leave the fortress of solitude. Which is okay because it's been getting boring. I like the neighborhood (most times) as it's one of those ones with big trees, quiet (most times) and fairly close to alot of things. But it isn't actually close (within walking distance) to anything really.

The new place is close to the famous/notorious "Red Mile" which means it will be noisy. So I can either stand on the balcony yelling at the world to shut the hell up or go out and do my share to contribute noise pollution. I think I choose the latter.

And for a dirty old man like myself, the girl-watching is much better.

In other news, last week I got notification via email that a package was on it's way. Now this isn't unusually, but I didn't remember ordering that I hadn't already received. So I was intrigued. And worried that I broke my drink-and-surf policy (don't do it) again.

Got it on Saturday. It was video tape and some information on making smart stock purchase decisions in the market of the twenty-first century. With convenient recommendations.

Not that exciting.

So with surgery, the move and of course International Spend Like Crazy days (ie Christmas) coming up, I'm going to be busy and broke. Add to that I'm actually getting some response on Lavalife this time around, 2006 is going to end like most of my projects at work: not enough time, resources or requirements but incredible pressure to get it done by a specific date.

That's Life outside the Fortress of Solitude.

I'm up, I'm up...

Look at the time stamp. I hate it when this happens.

I'm not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination but about once a week I wind up waking up at 5 AM. Now some would say this is a perfect opportunity to do something constructive, and I would agree. Except I'm a bloody wreck when this happens. For example, it took me five minute to write the last sentence.

So I put on a pot of coffee, idly surf, smoke too much, maybe watch an episode of something on DVD, that sort of thing. It really is me time because frankly I wouldn't want to subject anyone to the great grumpiness that is Moby at 5:30 AM.

And of course I always feel the guilt. I should be doing something constructive. Like getting my word count up for NaNoWriMo. Or going to the gym. Or doing the dishes. Or go into work. Okay, maybe not that.

This early morning wakefulness comes at a price. By the time three in the afternoon rolls around I'm a fricken' zombie, including the impulse to bite someone's head off. And the evening is shot.

So I'm writing a post. And drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. Which I'm almost out of.

There ya go, I'll go buy smokes. I'll get something accomplished at least.

Edit: Almost forgot, I started up my profile on Lavalife again. Not this morning, but on the weekend.

Of course it's just another way for me to avoid word count blues, but what the heck. The only problem is that when you factor in:

Age, mine

Age, hers

The fact I don't want to have kids

The fact that I'm reluctant to date someone with kids

It turns out that the number of matches I get is less than a dozen. So it won't be that much of a distraction.

Russian brides anyone?

Hey I Update!

But now it seems only weekly. Ah well, my excuse is that nothing of interest (even to me) has been happening as of late. If that sounds a tad on the dull side you're right.

So for the update let's start off with work. I know I said I wouldn't kvetch about work here but I gotta make exceptions once in a while. So the new team is very quickly turning into me and nine managers. Yes that's right. Me and nine managers. I have two students working for me but at the rate we're going I'm worried that neither of them will accept an offer (in fact I think one of them needs to go back to school). Granted we have someone new starting next week, but that means I will have less time as I have to train them up. It'll be six weeks before they can be left to their own devices.

Argh.

Friday night was rather intriguing. Me, the two students and most of the nine managers went to shoot pool after work. At the table beside us was half of the (almost all female) Human Resources department. They were out celebrating the occasion of one of their comrade's divorce papers being final. So by six o'clock they were totally wasted. I, of course, joined them in the festivities. The geeks faded by seven, of course. Now the divorce is very, very cute. Her friends are very, very attractive as well. Especially the one who was introduced as being a former pole-dance instructor. And I could believe it. Wishful thinking or no.

The decision was (finally) made to head out. To what is supposedly a cowboy bar. Now, whenever I go to a cowboy bar there is an inevitable scuffle. Alcohol goes in my mouth, and fuels that little sardonic monster in me. He can get vocal.

Fortunately this time there were no faux cowpokes in the vicinity, so I spent a good part of the evening drinking, dancing with the ladies and throwing ice-cubes into their cleavage. Which they insisted I do so they could suck them out of each other's bras. How come when I was twenty-five this was considered unacceptable behavior? Ah well, better late than never.

As the night wound down (about 8 hours after we started) I found myself relegated to guardian of the purses. So soon after I made my departure (ensuring everyone had their purse of course).

The hangover was horrendous.

But overall it was a good night despite the fact that I felt really, really old. But at least I felt like a dirty old man.

That's an improvement.

I gotta look up someone for some pole-dancing lessons next week.

The Power of Words

In this modern day and age, words can hold more power than ever. The power to educate! The power to illuminate! The power to hilarity-ate!!!

But when the power goes it, you can't write suckers down.

Yep, national Novel Writing Month is off to an auspicious start. After actually not going to the comic store for my regular Wednesday fix to set aside time to write, the power goes out in my building.

Now I hear you say "But Moby, you could do it the old fashioned way!".

Not in the dark.

Of course the kicker is that the power went out last night making me late for work. Well, granted I wasn't terribly upset considering the past couple weeks but I had a 9 AM meeting with my boss.


In other news, the Russian Experiment is finito (that's Russian right?) After a deluge of emails I shut 'er down. I've concluded that I'm not internationally undateable but something in the tradition of emergent behavior came about.

Am I looking for a wife as opposed to girlfriend (although that doesn't do the meme justice. Firstly, I realize that I don't see a wife as desirable. Not that I don't want to get married, hell's donkeys, if I find the right woman I'll get down on the knee, say the cheesy question, wear the monkey suit etc. But that's not the goal.

As I've said before, best friend with benefits (and who feels the same about me) is what I seek. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Regardless, Odessa is still a nice place to vacation, and with my stock option now actually worth money....

For more on the Russian Experiment and various other musings, check out my video blog. I know it's MySpace, but it's free space as well.

The Russian Experiment

So a bit over a month back I got drunk. While this event is not remarkable in any way, I did break the "do not drink and surf" policy.

Apparently, I signed up for a Russian Mail Order Bride Site. Quiet, lemme explain.

Having totally forgotten about it, I got an email saying I had received a message from one of these women. Now when I signed up, I didn't put any kind of personal information whatsoever. It was just a username (not dykmoby).

I had the seed (okay, maybe seed is too pure a word) of an idea. I filled out my profile using one of my old profiles back in the humiliation-on-the-internet days (dating sites). No pictures though. I would see if I was internationally undateable.

So over the next week I got about a dozen or so emails (5 in one day) from ladies from the former Soviet Union. Thus stage 1 was complete: I don't come off that bad.

Stage 2: Post A Picture. Not the worst, but not the best either. I waited to see the response. After one week, one email. I concluded that I was indeed internationally undateable.

Then last weekend came around.

20 on Saturday.

25 on Sunday.

41 on Monday.

When I finally pulled the plug tonight, I had over 140 emails.

Now I felt guilty. In all likelyhood, all these women just spammed potential Western Husbands just to improve the odds. Add to that, there was a certain desperation to some of emails I read (cost $3 an email, but my curiosity got the better of me). Kinda sad.

It did give me an idea for book though. You see the site offers these "tours" where you go to a couple of major centers and have "socials" with the women. Apparently the men are outnumbered about 10 to 1.

That would be an amazing story. Fiction or non-fiction (or even a documentary). What drives the men to seek mates half-way across the world and propose after meeting them in what is essentially a glorified cocktail-party? What are they looking for that they can't find at home?

And there's the women of course. I get that many of them have never been married (the site is pretty explicit about that) but why seek mates, who don't speak a word of Russian or Ukrainian? Hostile conditions? Are Russian men weenies?

Ad of course there's the business of setting this up. Who do they market to? Is it profitable? Is this a cynical enterprise that preys on lonely men and women for outrageous profit? Is it still doing good works despite the money involved?

Maybe I'll call it The Road to Odessa.

So anyways, that's the latest social experiment. Up Next: Going to a Halloween party in tights at work. Career Limiting Move? Definitely a social limiting move...

My Space

Erg. Okay I set up a profile on MySpace a while back. Yeah I know, "trendy". Walp, I have a video blog there. Or I'll keep recording videos cuz I bought this stupid webcam on a lark and need to justify it.

And I'm still sick! What the hell? I've never had a cold longer than a week and this makes it two weeks! This suck (and blows).

There's a joke about kleenex consumption in there, feel free.

So on Thursday, coffee with the little brothers turned out to be drinks with the brothers which means I broke a Skype test with Capa. Apparently he is also sick so I hope he doesn't have what I have. Sorry twice dude.

Work sucks, but I got an email from one of my (many) former managers which looks promising.

What else? Oh yeah, looks like there may be a weekend in Vegas this November. The guys I would be going with are hard-core poker players (although I'm sure they'll get reamed in Vegas) I'll just give 'em 100 bucks each to get it over with and go see Penn & Teller.

Also have my evaluation for frickin' laser eye surgery this week. Looking forward to after I get zapped, but the actual procedure has me a bit paranoid.

For now, I'm cleaning the closets (gah) overdosing on Vitamin C and avoiding buying games and movies.

Quicky Update

Not moving or at least it's on hold for a while. Things need to be "worked out". But that also means the weeks I took off in November can be entirely dedicated to writing.

That and drinking with Capa.

And I can't shake this damn cold. Dammit.

h and since Battlefield 1242 has spyware of a sort plus in-game ads, I ain't getting it. At least not until it drops to the bargain-bin prices.

Not much else to report. It snowed. Soon there will be skiing.

Select * From ToDoList

0 records returned.

Sorry, DB geek humor.

Actually it's kind of odd. After a 12 hour nap last night (still trying to shake this cold) I find myself with a dearth of chores to do this weekend. It's quite odd as I can't remember a weekend in the past three months where I wasn't constantly running around. The only thing I need to do is get a new bolt for my bike seat.

That breaking was a very, very painful experience. I won't go into details, except to say I suddenly had "Moon River" going through my head.

So after I pick that up and chow down, looks like I'm free and clear for doing some writing (I have a short based on the Tapes incident that I'm half way through).

On the other had, a part of me is waiting for another shoe to drop. Ah well, enjoy it while it lasts.

Cure Worse Than Disease

Yep still sick. My sleep patterns, not always the best when I'm well, are terribly disturbed, thus the 5 AM posting. I'll be asleep in my cubicle by noon. Which is only 3 hours earlier than normal, but still.

I've been using Trend's Pc-cillan for a couple of years now as my firewall/anti-virus software. But a couple of days ago it was removed from my hard-drive.

They had released a new version when I renewed my license last week. 2007 was rich in features (more in terms of advisories, email spam tools etc) but I'm thinking it was still pretty much beta. The mail checker took so long to initialize my connection to my mail server would time out. The ability to customize firewall settings was difficult to find (and obscure to use). Now this would have been survivable if it didn't actually screw up the TCIP stack every fifteen minutes to two hours, forcing me to reboot. Granted I don't have anything to play online at the moment, but still.

That was the last straw (and a big one at that). Last year they produced an update that would go into an infinite loop and max out your CPU. I had to re-install windows. Yet I still gave them the benefit of the doubt. Not this time. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me eleven times shame on me.

I gotta go swallow a bottle of vitamin C.

Snuffle Shuffle

Gah. The cold I have been fighting for a week was victorious yesterday. Time to get my pharma on. No other news to report, I just wanted to bitch about that.

Oh, wait, one thing to report.

Seems my little brother's live-in girlfriend will soon be his live-in ex-girlfriend and just his ex by the end of October. He asked me if I would be willing to move in with him as he still has 10 months on his 12 month lease and needs a room mate.

Despite the fact that I am a guy who needs his fortress of solitude, the offer does appeal to me.

It's a great apartment

It's in a great location with plenty of social options within walking distance and walking distance to work.

It's an opportunity to do a major purge of all the junk I've accumulated over the past few years here

my current building is spiralling down fast in terms of quality and location

Hey, he's my little brother

He is also working on the possibility of renting out to some students, but he's not sure if he wants to go that route. One major downside is that I would have to pack and move during NaNoWriMo. Not good.

Update: Confirmed, I'm moving in November. Looks like I will need to take a week off to move (and hopefully write).

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

Well, it did. This is what happens when I wake up at 5:30 AM and can't get back sleep.

So after yesterday's, well, dramatic post I gave some things more thought. I came to the conclusion, while my friends and family are quite helpful, they are still friends and family which means things to get ... sugar coated. Can't blame them at all with that: they still have to deal with me, which is awkward to start without being brutally honest.

So where does a guy get an honest opinion?

Then while watching Battlestar Galactica (I know, I know, shut up) there was the episode where Apollo is "seeing" an escort. It then struck me. Hire an escort! No, not for sex (that's just something I am never going to do, it means I lose) but to go out on a "simulated date" of sorts, getting advice from a pro. Of course, I thought I would have to make it very clear that the only financial transaction was going to be for her time only. All clothes would remain on respective bodies at all times.

This is scientific research after all.

Naturally, I hit the Intertoobes and looked up the local talent. For pure looks, I wasn't terribly impressed. Then I saw some of the rates.

Lemme tell ya, if anyone says that dating someone is just as, if not more, expensive as hiring out a pro, I'm gonna laugh.

So much for that idea.

Beauty and the Beast

I had fully intended to go out for Indian food and then get total shit-faced with my brother tonight, but since I ate at Taco Bell yesterday for lunch, I experienced the shit without the face all day today. I never seem to learn...

So I'm blogging while waiting for the download of the Battlefield 2142 demo to finish.

Two events of note this week, relating to women and my association (or lack thereof) with women. Yeah I know, let the poor horse rest in peace but you know, I'm delirious from salsa poisoning.

So the first thing is a comment I read or heard or saw or something this past while. I can't remember the exact words, but it went something like: when a man reaches a certain age, he begins to see all women as beautiful.

I think that's happening to me.

Now I kind of pride myself on not being the kind of guy who bases his opinion of women solely on their looks. Directly opposed to that though is the fact that I am a very, very visual person. Not uncommon for guys, but just the same.

When guys are younger they assess a woman's looks based on the whole package: if there is a "flaw" of some kind, then their entire opinion of her looks goes down. Sort of like making a mistake on a written French exam. Remember those? You start at 100% and lost grades for you mistakes. And there was at least 4707% worth of possible errors per exam.

Now many guys before a certain age - I think I can say not the majority, but certainly a significant minority - are looking for that perfect look, and so any feature that does not match the template destroys the entire image. Or rather, destroys the entire fantasy of the image. For the rest, the situation is almost the same, but with just a higher tolerance level. I've been attracted to the unconventional beauties, but will fully admit to have done the whole French exam methodology.

Somewhere in recent history that completely reversed. Now I find when I'm looking at women, I can pick out those very attractive features and qualities which would be completely ignored by those younger than myself (get off my lawn!) and admire them in and of themselves. A graceful neck, a twinkle in the eye, the way she holds herself, a killer smile and many, many others too numerous to name here.

A part of me wonders though if that change prompts the whole mid-life crisis in guys. You notice all these beautiful women (most of whom you previously wouldn't give a second glance) around. Where the hell did they come from? Well, like I tell women (with no prompting) who think they can't meet a nice guy: you meet them every day! You;re just not attracted to them. So our balding 40-ish male realizes that he missed all this. And is probably not capable of getting their attention if he was single.

Well I am single which brings me to my next little anecdote.

I was sitting in a coffee shop at lunch the other day, reading my book, watching the people go by (and pondering the above) when I saw someone who, although not a conventional beauty, took my breath away. My instant thought was "Wow, I would love to introduce myself to her!".

Then I heard another voice. Not the usual racket going on from my personal Greek Chorus (see "My Name is Legion"). But a new voice. One that whispered from a dark corner.


"She would never talk to you."
"Who the hell is that?" The rest of the voices gave a silent shrug "No seriously, who said that?"
"Me," I could hear the malicious sneer in that one syllable.
"How the hell would you know," all on the defensive, "you've never been here before."
A laugh that sounded like dust being cleared from an old copper pipe made it's way from a dark corner, " Oh, but I have my friend. I've been with you... quite some time."
"Alright," I decided to play along, not because I thought this voice had no power, but because I knew this voice had a power I couldn't yet perceive, "Why do you think she wouldn't want to talk to me?"
That laugh again, except it was the bark of a clog being cleared, "Well, because it's you."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"You. Women can tell when men lack confidence, and you, well, we both know your history don't we?" I could hear thin lips being pulled back over needle-like teeth.
"So you're saying women won't talk to me because I lack confidence?"
"Obviously."
"It was you wasn't it?"
"Why whatever do you mean?" that was delivered with the purr of an old and mangy mouser seeing the tail of a small rodent disappear behind a corner.
"I lack confidence, true. But it seems that comes into play after I think I'd like to talk to a girl. And actually decide to." The realization dawned quite suddenly, "You have been with me for a while."
Silence from that corner. The quiet before the pounce or the escape, I wasn't sure.
"The girl from band camp, Leah. The girl at the bus stop having problems with her luggage. Heather, Tracy, Linda, Jacee, Monique, Lee, Alexandra, all of them! Every time I thought I should take a chance but backed down! Every time it was time to take a small risk for the potential of a great reward it was you whispering in my ear, telling me I wasn't good enough. Or handsome enough or fun enough!" I could feel the heat rising behind my ears.
"I wasn't good enough because I thought I wasn't good enough. And I thought I wasn't good enough because of you!"
Silence. Then, "Of course, who am I if not yourself, and who if not me?"
I pondered that. And came to one inescapable conclusion. Some voices must be silenced.

Okay I am being over-dramatic here. But I gotta work on my dialogue skills for NaNoWriMo.

I am working to quiet that mother-fucker. And so far, even after a couple of days, it's working.

I'm saying "Hi, howya doin'?" to perfect strangers on the street. And getting good responses. Today I very cute blonde did a "Hi" back. I caught her checking me out in the reflection in the glass building.

At work, I think one admin assistant from the executive floor and one from the legal department are actually flirting with me. I'm trying to flirt back, but that ain't pretty.

But that's just a lack of experience. I'm a quick learner.

See ya!

Update: Well, looks like it's time for a new video card. I'm about 6 chipsets behind. At least have have Battlestar Galactica 2.5 to keep me company. Sci-fi with hot babes and good writing. How much better can it get?

Well, yeah, there's that. And that. Oh and some of those. Plenty of that....

Further Update: Apparently I am now officially a Dirty Old Man.

Fall in 60 Seconds

Yup, we are now in the first, last and only week of Fall here in Cowtown. Biking to work will no longer be an alternative by the weekend. So I either drive, which ain't gonna happen at $20+ a day in parking; take the bus, which is basically "Get Exposed To Every Disease Known To Mankind for only $5 a Day" or walk, which means some days I freeze mah buh-toks off for 60 minutes a day.

Mah but-toks kin take 'er. Er, that's not exactly how I wanted that to sound. I know at least two of you thought of the phrase "squeal like a pig, boy!".

I am from Regina, but that's why I got out.

In other news, I saw a truck bearing the logo of the fine folks at Haliburton hurtling through traffic, side-swiping various vehicles and generally acting like he hit something and was trying to get away. Two minutes later a cop pulled a different guy over for running a stale yellow.

Sums it all up really.

So I'm considering moving in March or April. Again. But I'm not sure if it's across town or across country, depends on how the job goes. If it's okay, I just want a two-bedroom place so I can have an office again. And a dishwasher. And Secure parking. And hardwood floors and en suite washer and dryer. And new furniture to go with it. And, er, well, the usual thing. The other thing. Yup, that one.

And I am going to gym today if it kills me. Considering how long since it's been since I did a work out, it just might. Then someone else has to worry about moving my stuff, so there's that.

Capa, let's do lunch. You chatted when I was all grumpy, at least I can return the favor. Gotta get you ready for NaNoWriMo after all.

Update:Went to the gym. Ow. Rather masochistic actually, surrounded by beautiful women while while inflicting pain on myself.

This Doesn't Bode Well

Well, first day on the new team (officially) and I'm already worried. Not as much planning as strategy as I had thought (ie none). It's happening in a very haphazard way that stinks of management by decalration: managers declare "this is so" and expect it to be so without anyone actually doing anything about it.

I'm not pinning this on my new boss, but he is new to management and is very eager to please so is probably not pushing back when he should.

We'll see what happens over the next few days, but I feel like I just blasted a hole in a grate, jumped blindly through the opening and suddenly the walls are inching closer to each other.

Some escape this is.....

Oh, that's right...

I have a blog!

Well, the 'rents have all gone to their respective corners - I mean residences - and so ends another nutso weekend. Yeesh. I think I need a vacation. I know I need a vacation, who am I kidding.

Unfortunately that may prove to be a tad difficult. In addition to being a weekend of constant clock-chasing, it was also a drain on the wallet.

Plane ticket to Regina for Christmas: $480

Finally paying off my line of credit: $2014

Lightwave software (apparently Visa rejected the payment the first time around, for some odd reason) $1114

Renewal of security software: $66

Add to that my eyeball piercing later this year (~$2000) and we have a flaccid bank roll. And to think I was going to set some non-student, non-Ikea furniture later this month. Or a new video card. May have to settle with just a jumbo Toblerone.

This week should be a tad more sedate: with the past couple weeks running around, I haven't been to the gym more than twice, which means something like "I will pay for a workout Tuesday for a hamburger today" style of thing. But I do need to go, I have this body of a 25 year old to maintain. Okay, maybe 30. 37?

Okay, okay, shut up.

So. Tired.

Man I don't know why I'm so zapped. Can barely keep my eyes open, my back has been killing for days and I have no energy whatsoever. And now that I think about it, no appetite as well. I've been busy every night for over the past week (and the end results aren't much) and really need to get to the gym.

Just too damn tired.

It's perfect opportunity to write ... but I just can't keep my eyes open. Speaking of which, I need to watch an "informational DVD" on my impending eye surgery. Something tells me it would knock me right out.

So I went from mental torpidness to physical tiredness. Woo.

On the geek front, I highly recommend Wapsi Square. It's a Web Comic that started out as a bit of a soap opera, but the author has written in some very good characters and is dealing with some good psychological topics in mystical ways. Oh yeah, it's funny and the girls he draws are hot. That never hurts. Ever.

Lessee, what else. Parental invasion starts tomorrow, I have a play to go to, my brother is now 1/3 owner of the company he was laid off from and will be making 6 figures a year, my apartment sucks aaaaaand I already killed a plant.

Yup, excitement abounds. I hear my couch calling my name.

Oh yeah before I forget, I've been playing with trying to draw again (I was never any good) and stumbled on Drawspace. It's pretty good; I was doodling at lunch using some of the first lessons and already saw an improvement. Mind you that ain't hard for me. After reading some of the examples and lessons, my reaction was pretty much "Well duh!" but sometimes you need someone to point out the obvious.

Sleepy time now go noogie-blinkums. Yawn.

huh?

What the...

I Fear for my Brother's Life

My brother's girlfriend loaned my the DVDs for these.

Wow.

So this weekend, despite me trying to do nothing, has been busy from the get go: the family IT guy, shopping for stuff, buying plants (3 hours later they still live, generally a good sign). Also bought a toy: DVD/VHS combo. Principaly because my PS2 no longer recognizes movies plus I want to start recording some TV (namely the Daily Show and the Colbert Report). I did manage to help my brother buy a pretty top-of-the-line video card. Now I want one.

Lessee, what else. Probably the last nice weekend weather-wise, so I've been enjoying it. Mainly looking at girls. Hey, what didja expect me to do, get actual exercise.

Update: Well, from the smell in here Id say that the potting soil I got has a high pig-shit content. At least I hope its the potting soil.

Pssht. Right.

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining, Probably Acid Rain

Okay, okay, okay.

I can feel the deep blue funk turning into a sky-coloured, slightly shallower funk. Gotta getcher funk on, no matter what you feel.

I'm guessing the weather change may have had something to do with it. Weather affects me like that. I have a whole winter of chinooks and the accompanying migraines to look forward to. Woo.

Okay, okay, sorry. I'm thinking happy thought. You want plural, send me cash.

I am thoroughly enjoying Lego Star Wars: The Original Trilogy although I'm a tad disappointed that the "millions of combinations" you can put together to make your own Lego Star Wars Minifig doesn't use all the bricks of the characters, maybe a dozen or so. The rest are just the standard 16 colors. Other than that the only really bad thing I have to say is it's too damn short.

Hey Sony Online: make an MMO like this and you may actually beat World of Grindcraft in the market. Or at least get back some subscribers. What are the subscriptions up to now, 26, 28 accounts? Ya blew it, man...

Happy thought, happy thought....

So work is back to being just work instead of death in a cubicle, although I will sorely miss Big M as he is seconded to another group in a different office. It's gonna be damn quiet M. Your unique brand of seething rage will be missed.

Other than that, once again both of my parental units decided to come into town the same weekend, which is always full of fun, guilt, panic, fights over paying the bill etc. You know, the usual family get-together.

Once I get my eyes lasered I'm going to a beach dammit. I need a break. Hey that's a good thing, anger is better than depression. At least it's the Dark Side, not the Dreary Side.

I've also determined that if I ever get anyone into my bed again, they are going to realize that I pretty much a Wookie before I have my first cup of coffee: a lot of grunting noises, and the occasional ripping off of arms.

Maybe I need to lay off the Star Wars game for a bit....

Discombobulated

Another late update. Although I really don't have a schedule for these things, so late may be the wrong word. How does later than usual sound?

And yes folks, I forgot to post at Starting Write Now last week. Or rather I didn't have anything to post. I didn't write last week, so I didn't have anything to write about writing.

The reason behind that? Discombobulation. Combine 2 oz. of angst, 1 oz. of boredom, add a dash of self-pity and leave sitting on a counter for a while. Maybe I've been watching too much Tiki Bar lately. Obviously I haven't been drinking enough.

As happens when this, er, happens, my introspection has gone external. On one hand, I've been getting a particular statement from co-workers: I'm a natural-born troubleshooter. This is in relation to some (even more) changes at work, although this time my move is voluntary so hopefully something good comes out of it. Add to that the little bro saying that, in addition for we siblings to be all-or-nothing, we also thrive on pressure.

I'm undecided if that's a good or bad thing yet.

The other downer is, thanks to Capa and his wily ways, I came to the realization that I really don't have anything to look forward to for the first time in about 5 years. No trips planned, no classes etc. Laser eye surgery apparently doesn't count. So I need to get something planned for the near future to look forward to; what is a bit of a mystery, and how much does it cost a bit of a worry. The other other downer is I am officially pushing 40 as of this coming weekend, which is also the one-year anniversary of when I last, er, combobulated.

So there's that to look forward to....

Please note all, this is just a case of the doldrums, and thanks for your concern, I'll get over it. Buying me drinks may help though.

4 Out of 5 Dentists Agree: Couches Are Heavy

Yup, it's been a week. Up until yesterday, a boring week. Moving furniture is one of those mundane things until you actually drop a love seat on your feet. Then it's interesting until the swelling goes down.

The other interesting thing that happened in the past seven days is my coffee-maker spontaneously combusting yesterday morning. A pop, a sizzle then smoke. This is hard to deal with when you haven't had your first cup of coffee yet.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Coffee. You served nobly and well over the past 4 years. You were good 'til the last drop.

Other than that, it's been boring. Every little bit of it. Well, except for Sword of the Stars: I've been playing a tad too much of that.

Work: dull. Gym: dull. Moving brothers: painful and dull. Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull.

I may have shut my brain off as I am officially pushing forty in a couple of weeks. A mid-life crisis would be just what I need to get things interesting again.

Anyone know where I can pick up a sports-car penis replacement cheap?

Extreme Measures

Bonjour and all that. Yes it's been a while.

Some updates then. I went and bought Sword of the Stars which has been consuming all my time. Just finished a 25 hour game. Woo! Ow, my mouse hand hurts.

Also both brothers have officially moved and so I no longer have things to lift except my laundry. While not heavy, it is still hazerdous. I'll leave out the details.

In other news, I will not be moving to Toronto in the near future. Talking with my other brothers, we have a tendency to go all or nothing. While this has it's hazards, in this particular case I feel it isn't all that warranted. I do still need some big changes in my life, particularily getting a new job. So that's priority one. Resume is updated and distributed online this weekend, as well as some better filters on the job sites.

Other things I will be doing in the next while: laser eye surgery (obligatory fricken' lasers), purchase of 3D software and some non-ikea furniture. Although after the surgery and software I probably couldn't afford anything but Ikea.

So what about girls? I won't say I have given up because whenever I do people (Capa) that it sounds like I haven't. But I have, more out of frustration than anything. The internet is for porn, not dating. Never forget the fundamentals.

Oh yeah, I cancelled my land-line phone because of the half-dozen telemarketing calls a night. It's up for a month but won't be answering it at all. Man, that's annoying. However the girl I talked to at my phone provider said it's happening more and more lately. Maybe the phone-companies will wise up and try to stem the turgid flow of insipid advertising.

Nah.

Demos in Spaaaaaace!

Time once again for one of my sporadic game reviews. Today, we take a look at the demos of Sword of the Stars and Lego Star Wars: The Original Trilogy.

Sword of the Stars is yet another entry in the 4X space genre, the mother of all 4X games being Masters of Orion (but it wasn't the first by any means). For the purposes of this review, I will do alot of comparison of SoTS and Galactic Civilizations 2 (GalCiv2). Both games are steeped in the classic 4X idioms, but each takes a different direction with each element of gameplay.

The basic idea of course is you chose one of four races in your "galaxy" and start with a homeworld. The idea is to expand your race's influence by exploring neighboring stars and if a suitable planet is found, establishing a colony on that world (more is not always better though). While you are doing this, you can research various technologies which can help in all kinds of things; faster ships, more powerful weapons, better colonies etc. Eventually of course your society will meet up with other races. In some cases, you can establish friendly (or at least non-aggressive) relationships with them, but in most cases fleets clash, ships bleed and fate is tossed like dice in the merciless vacuum of space....

So those are the basics, but the two games handle each aspect very differently. The most pronounced difference of course is that SotS uses a 3D star map (so it's more like real spaaaaaaace!) with GalCiv2's star map is always two dimensional. For those not used to working in 3D, this can be a bit daunting (and confusing) but overall it leads to some interesting strategic play.

Another big difference is the way the two games handle colonies. GalCiv2 has some very detailed colony and financial management: you need to build up each colony with different types of building to give you particular advantages and abilities. SotS uses a very simple colony strategy: planets will have a "compatibility rating" for each race (and it can be different for each race for the same planet). Building a colony is pretty simple: once it's established, it terraforms (makes the world a nicer place for your colonists) builds a generic "infrastructure" which determines income and how much ship-building you can do.

Research is pretty similar for both: there are various "paths" of research that give you bonuses, special abilities etc. While GalCiv2 has a much larger tree (almost redundant in alot of places) SotS has a narrower range, but a technology can have multiple dependencies where GalCiv2 just has simple branching for the most part. Additionally, SotS generates some randomness into the tree: some techs will not be available in some games while others appear only rarely. This adds to the replayability quite a bit. There's also the fact that you never know what technologies will "open" which gives research a certain unpredictability. Of course the demo is pretty limited, so there is more than likely a bigger technology tree to research.

Ships and ship design are very distinct as well. GalCiv2 has a very flexible ship design system which features alot of jewelry that allows you to customize the look of each ship according to taste. Functional design is pretty free-form as well. However the end results are pretty much the same in terms of the game itself: more and better is the name of the game. SotS doesn't have the same flexibility, but in this case it works out to be much cleaner: there are three hull sizes (only on in the demo though). Each hull size has three sections that can be swapped out with pieces that do different jobs. So the end result almost forces a player to play with mixed armaments, while GalCiv2 fleets are usually just multitudes of the same ship.

Combat in GalCiv2 is strictly hands-off (but pretty) as battles resolve without any interference from the player. SotS allows auto resolution, but the player can group and move fleets, assign targets etc. It's in a 2D plane (which is odd considering the star systems are in 3D) which adds a certain edge for a competent player.

Overall the UI is okay, although I think in the attempt to simplify what is on screen, the developers cut out too much. Navigating the statistics and data screens can be a bit difficult to navigate through and the actual universe (your stars and fleets) could use a bit more detail as well. If I have one serious complaint, it's the lack of information on how to play the game, but it's a demo, not a full release.

So in a side-by-side taste test, both games are good but for different reasons: SotS can be played a bit more 'quick and dirty' as opposed to GalCiv2's long, drawn out (but still fun) games. The UI could use alot more polish, but an upcoming patch (to the full game) is being released almost at the same time as the actual game release. Perusing the boards it is available for purchase online (although they are having some problems with the DRM offered by the North American digital distribution). Retail purchase is technically available but most people who have contacted the retails report that they have not shown up in most cases, and in many cases the stores didn't know they actually are selling the game. We'll see how that pans out for them


Next Up: Lego Star Wars: The Original Trilogy

C'mon, Star Wars presented in an all-Lego format and playable on your console and PC? I'm totally geeking out over it!

The original Lego Star Wars covered the the 'prequel' movies, and actually got higher ratings than the movies themselves. Lots of puzzles, action, secret characters and levels, the game has a very high replay value, is slick in presentation, and offers co-op play!

The Original Trilogy demo covered "Chapter 3": Luke and Ben arrive at Mos Eisley and need to sell a speeder while avoiding Storm Troopers, speeder stealing Jawas and the various scum and villains residing in that hive (you know the line). All presented in Brick form.

So if you played the original game, The Original Series seems to be more of the same, but it's a good same, so that's good.

For the record though the controls on a PC are horrid, and there still seems to be no game-controller support. This seems ridiculous as the game is essentially a console game: I don't see how they could not do a port and lose the basic control structures. But hey, I'm not a programmer, so... waitaminute!

I'm hoping that they bundle this with the first Lego Star Wars as I never actually picked that up. The co-op play has me intrigued in particular: finding someone to play co-op is another matter entirely.

I'm Drunk

Woo!

Woo!

Um, yeah. So I am pissed, but I think I decided I'm moving to T.O.in November. Because decisions after you have had four pints always turn out for the best.

And I also have a date with a 24 year-old tomorrow for lunch. Woooo! Yes, female. Shut up you.... thing you!

I wonder if she knows it's a date....

Probably not.

Wooo!

Taco Hell

Ew.

Okay, not feeling well at all today. Now normally my stomach is finicky at best, although I have figured out that onions are a no-no and eating after 8 pm is a bad idea.

After the gym last night I went to a fast-food franchise that shall remain nameless. While I was waiting to get my food, I noticed the crew at this place screwed up the orders of the three people ahead of me. They basically had to remake almost everything. Watching them working was like watching a ballet comprised of retarded monkeys on Prozac. One would say something and the person being addressed took up to thirty seconds to respond as the glacial movement of sparsely spaced synapses coalesced into mis-understanding.

They had forgotten to put one of the two tacos in my order, so I had to wait around to get my second one.

When I got home and dove into these things, I noticed the mayo seemed kind of "off" but I attributed that to the fact that it was now cold from waiting for my second taco.

Big. Mistake. So I'm at home now, losing weight...

Wagons East?

This is getting silly. The cost of living in Cowtown is going up, up and more up as time goes on. It's getting impossible to afford the basics and still maintain my swingin' bachelor lifestyle. Okay geekin' nerdling lifestyle.

Seriously: rent up 15% (and more than likely 50%+ next bump); parking up 25%; gas up 20%; utilities up 15%; and everything else going up due to the price of gas, utilities and skyrocketing rents/property values.

This time last year I gave up on being able to squirrel away enough for a down-payment on a condo. Now I'm worried I may have to move to an even smaller place for more money. No hope of getting something at my current rent range. Both of my brothers have moved to new places in town this month and are paying $1000+ for one-bedrooms.

What with the reunion in July, one of the goals was to "check out" Toronto as a viable place to work and live in. Rent is about on par, but I noticed everything else was cheaper, even with the provincial sales tax. My bro's girlfriend owns a condo that she is renting out in T.O. and it's coming available soon. May be a perfect opportunity to move (I hate apartment hunting). Only thing I hate worse than moving is job hunting, but there's a plethora of opportunities out there and it wouldn't take me long to find something to at least pay the bills. Add to that, it turns out that I like my family and it may be time to get reacquainted.

So the only thing really holding me back is my lack of project experience with the latest and greatest in programming technologies (.NET and Java) which I should be able to get where I am. The caveat is that I've been in this situation before and have been pulled because they needed someone with my experience with the legacy systems. The other factor is that salary reviews occur in September. Basically, if they have a 5% cap again, it's time to go.

And no, it has nothing to do with the lap dances. Okay not alot to do with the lap dances. Those are bloody expensive.

Additionally, I will no longer be answering my land-line phone. The number of telemarketing calls is getting stupendously annoying: sometimes six times a night. So I left a message on my machine saying I simply will not answer the phone anymore. I'll be disconnecting it soon. This is what you get for actually making a charitable donation: no good deed goes unpunished.

Dude, We Totally Have to Make These!

Hehe, Capa pointed me at The Tiki Bar. I'm wondering if I should attempt to make a pitcher of each featured concoction to lubricate my muse. Who I really, really hope looks like LaLa.

Actually, my muse being a drunken female engineer would explain alot.

Bad Movie! Bad Movie!

Alrighty then. Capa had loaned me this piece of, well, cinematic excellence and has been bugging me for a week to actually watch it.

Capa, you owe me 4 hours of my life back.

It was horrible. What I should have done is just watch it with the commentary on first run. Then I wouldn't have wasted my time. It's bad, oh dear gods it's bad. Even Bruce Campbell, gods love him, may his chin jut forever, couldn't save this stinker.

But I love the commentary.

Now on the other hand some actual good viewing can be had with this. $90, well worth the money. I've always had a fascination with ancient Rome and this just blew me away. I am now adding it to the required viewing list. Watch it!

Now I'm going to bed, and with any luck, will not have nightmares about horribly acted, terribly directed, and just plain wrong sci-fi. Unless of course it's more along the lines of this. Or this.

All Praise Bruce Campbell!

...

Ow.

10.5 hours drinking with Capa. Sort of a mini bar-hopping night.

Oh the pain, oh the pain of it all! No gym today. Just housework I guess. Nothing like a few harsh chemicals to burn through the fumes of a binge.

I realized that next week is the first week in about 2 months that I will be at work for a full five days. Man summer is slack.

Gonna go dry-heave now. Have fun!

Quick Note

Quickly then...

Training all this week. C#, which I am categorizing under "About Bloody Time". Correction, all week except for Friday, which I have off to go eat pizza and drink with Capa and others.

Secondly, I met most (if not all) of the crew of Starting Write Now! which Capa is leading up. It was pretty good with a healthy mix of shop (we all have to submit something once a week, we will do monthly reviews etc) and witty banter. Okay banter. Okay, okay! Jeez! Lame pop culture references.

Technically I quit smoking today. I started smoking again at lunch....

Pros and Cons

Well, as you may know by reading Capa's posts, he and I went to Con-Version 22 this weekend. It was his first and my first in fifteen years convention, and we had a pretty good time of it.

This is one of a few conventions in Western Canada that has a more "literary" bent: they focus more on writing and text rather than the "media" sci-fi out there. The programming was about half-and-half, but there was good coverage (there weren't two seminars at the same time I wanted to go to) and the guests were for the most part well spoken and had some quite interesting things to say.

Capa had a good time and didn't go crazy in the vendor area as he feared he would. That's a tough thing to do when presented with so many toys...

For myself, the whole weekend struck a very strange note... correction, it struck a very strange chord with me. It triggered off some old feelings, some new ideas and something I'll have to do at a later point here. The latter I'll explain later the former and preceding and I'll get into now.

As stated, I hadn't been to a con in fifteen years or so. Going back to one was a ... bit of shock for me. There of course the knee-jerk cry of "Neeeeeeeeeeerds!!!!" a la Homer at the back of the mind as folks paraded by in Jedi, Ghostbusters, Everquest, Farscape, generic fantasy and even Firefly outfits (note: Star Trek costuming was distinctly absent, I wonder why...). There was also the jarring realization that a good many of these people I saw at conventions fifteen years ago.

Immediatly after, another realization shamedly rose in my mind: I am the intruder here. A lost son who comes back and sees that his home is no different, but he himself has changed dramatically and sometimes not for the better.

Which in turn triggered yet another emotion: sadness.

Back in my hey-day I would attend three or four conferences a year with my friends. They provided a fantastic counter-point to my rock 'n' roll lifestyle as a radio DJ and concert promoter; a chance to have excellent conversations with intelligent people about topics that were mutually loved and respected. Some of the best, strangest and eye-opening things and people attend at every opportunity.

And I had willingly disconnected myself from that community, that spirit and that drive.

It relates directly to my last point which I will need to write-up (With great care and attention) and present at some later date. But I will say this: there was a time in my life where I had to change myself almost completely to survive both mentally and physically in what was a "hostile economic environment". That change forever altered who I am, what I am, and what I am capable of. It makes me a better writer (potentially at least) as a consequence, but in doing so it has made me less of a "fan".

And I cannot fully return to that, at least not with the same passion I had when it was a central piece of my life: community, love, respect, laughter, wonder and joy. But I still can visit once in a while, and if I'm willing (as I know I am capable) to make another change in myself, I can return through the other side as a writer. A new role in a old, and lamented, part of my life.

I'm Quitting

Wow, last night I quit nearly everything!

Online dating sites: profiles deleted. Online MMOs: accounts suspended. So I'm left with my single-player games and my, er, single-player game.

Lemme explain: after I posted last night, I decided to check out the dating sites. The one where they make you answer all those questions eventually got me a few matches. Now the way it works there, you pick some multiple-choice questions (pre-written) from a list and "ask" your potential match the questions (they fill out a form). This has to happen a few times before the site lets you contact them with your own words. Any time during these exchanges, either party can suspend or out-right kill the ongoing 'dialogue'.

Imagine my lack of surprise when the women I sent these questions to halted all further contact. Every single one! And it's not like I even had a chance to make my usual bumbling advances. I sent them a short questionnaire for gods' sake: they put the kybosh on from that?

I threw up my hands, deleted my profiles on the sites I was on, cancelled the accounts and removed the bookmarks. Burn the land and sow the soil with salt. That's it.

I then fired up Planetside. I was killed about thirty seconds into the game by a guy with a pistol in a single shot (when it should take at least ten) while he was far out of range of my rifle. An obvious hack. Reported! Account de-activated, software uninstalled.

That left me with EvE online, which I am trying on a 14-day trial. Not bad, but frankly I don't have the time to devote twelve hour days to the game, which apparently is required. So I just uninstalled the software.

Which leaves me with GalCiv, Fate and Space Hack for games and, well, I have cable for that other stuff.

On the bright side it means I'll have time to actually write.

The other thing I am trying to quit, yet again, is the smoking habit. Last time at the Doc's I asked for a Zyban prescription, which I started Monday. The Doc said to take one a day, and quit smoking on the third day. Every piece of research I did said the dosage is two a day and you keep smoking for the first week. I swear to the gods....

Well considering I am trying to quit smoking, I'll be swearing alot.

Start Write Now! Er....

Okay Capa, thanks very much for the "kick in the junk". By the way: Nice Hair!

So the reason I didn't post yesterday (and the reason why Capa got all Reservoir Dogs on my ass) was because I received a panicked plea from my Auntie L about her wireless router not working (Help me Moby-Wan Kenobi!). So after I fixed the router, was fed my second supper of the night (so much for not eating after seven), had a few drinks with her "Cougar Posse" I came home and discovered my computer had a Trojan Horse installed (Thanks Dad!).

I was supposed to tell you about Start Write Now. It's a site that features myself, Capa and a few other wanna-be writers discussing the vagaries of newbie scriveners. As the principle reason I started this whole blog thing 2 years ago was to get my write on, it's about time to move on to things that aren't about my life. That's pretty much played out anyways, and the reviewers weren't kind at all (Thanks Dad!).
So with that, I am actually going to set aside some time each week to write something besides this thing.

As a secondary aside: of course now that I've linked to it, finding out my "secret identity" won't be much of a problem. Not that it worries me that much. I've never been that thrilled with the whole anonymity thing anyways: I say what I say and damn the consequences. Which reminds me, I bought this the other day. I wonder what it's about?

There was a time when I went to sci-fi cons about four times a year. That went by the wayside around the time I was homeless (did I ever discuss that particular event in my life?). So with trying to get back on the writing gig, I'm attending Conversion this year. Pretty decent line-up of writers: I always like to hear what they have to say, even if I don't agree with it.

Oh yeah, and girls in sci-fi costumes, which is hot. I miss that.

Oh yeah, guys in Sailor Moon outfits. I do not miss that!

Say "Aaaargh!"

Moving on!

I still have a sore throat. Still! When I got back from vacation, I went back to the clinic and got another doctor. Because my first doctor had handwriting even other doctors couldn't read, I had to go through the entire scenario over the last two months.

So he gave me more anti-biotics, recommended I gargle with hydrogen peroxide (!!!) and stop complaining. And to think there's a movement to go with a two-tier medical system. I woldn't pay another bloody dime for this kind of treatment.

I almost never see doctors. I haven't had a check-up in (counts on fingers, then toes) 18 years. Before the whole strep thing, I only went to the doctor for "tests" after a relationship went south. These were always amusing....

Doctor: "So, what exactly did you want to test for?"
Me: "Everything."
Doctor: "What do you mean, everything? That's alot of tests."
Me: "Anything that could be contracted by sleeping with someone who has schtupped the entire staff of a large casino. Everything."
Doctor: "Oh...."

You get the idea.....

Tomorrow: Start Write Now. Time to actually put words on paper. I blame everything of Capa.

Where Was I?

Oh yes, vacation.

The second half of my trip to the southernmost tip of the Great White North was spent getting requainted with my family on my Mom's side. One of my (many) aunts has a cabin in Cottage Country, which she and her husband (which I guess would make him my uncle) have built up over the years.

Now remember that since I was 5 years old, I've been living on bald-ass prairie. A "lake" is actually a slough, the content of which is about 50% cow shit. Give or take. Cottage Country on the other wellie, is dotted with "kettle lakes", formed when the glaciers retreated, leaving behind chunks which melted and formed pleasantly small, natural lakes. The end result is that pretty much each lake is isolated from the rest and there are cottages everywhere.

Probably the most relaxing four days of my life: nothing to do but drink, eat, realize that my family is insane and get eaten by mosquitoes, horse flies and deer flies. Circle of life, right?

Of course the bestest part was being right on the lake. I'm an enthusiastic if not talented swimmer (bald-ass prairie, remember?) and going swimming three or four times a day is balm for the soul. Not quite the same as swimming in an ocean (less waves, but mind you, less jellyfish) but pretty top notch all the same.

Of course all good things must come to a crashing halt, so we made our way back to The Big Smoke. The last day was spent packing up my little brother in preparation for his move back to Calgary to learn how to use X-Rays and stuff. In 40+ degree Centigrade humidity. So I sweated off all the weight I gained at the cottage.

Which now means I have a brother that can get ahold of industrial grade lasers, one that will be harness cosmic rays and me, who can, er, normalize a database. World domination here we come!

The flight back to afore mentioned bald-ass prairie (what? I like saying "bald ass prairie") was uneventful (although we flew right by some thunderheads, very cool). The interesting part was when I went to claim my luggage....

Airports have a policy of cutting off those pathetic little locks some people put on their luggage to "secure" it from thieving hands. And of course since we are at terror level teal with burgundy highlights, they get promptly chopped off. The locks I mean. Although I've heard stories about what security does if they find a cuticle file in your carry on...

Now, my luggage (which my father have to my for my high-school graduation. Subtle, Dad) is "soft" like a gym bag. It has two zippers on the top, threaded together by a faux-leather strap so you can open and close it on one swift movement. When I picked up my bag off the spinning thingymadoodad, I never gave it a second thought. I just wanted to get home, crash, read my email and play a game or two (the game in this case was EvE online, but I'll get to that later).

So later that night when I was unpacking, I noticed the strap had been cut off. I was a little miffed, but what the heck, it's a twenty year old back and had started to develop a ... smell. Then I found the tapes.

Three Super 8 video tapes to be precise. The only labels were numbers: 2, 3 and 5. I don't own a video camera. And I have one of those nice laminated tags on my bag with my name, address and phone number.

This freaked me out. I had repacked my back just before we left for the airport and went straight from the van to the check in. At no point did I even let go of my bag, let alone leave it unattended. The chicanery must have happened after it was tagged and sent back to mysterious airport locales via the conveyer belt. I'm guessing luggage throwers or someone having access to the bowels of the airport must have put them in there.

The tapes were actually tapes: no drugs, no strange powders etc. Just tapes. But still it freaked me out; there was a bust of a huge child-porn ring recently (my uncle is on the T.O. Police S.W.A.T. team) and frankly I've heard stories of what they do to those guys in jail. My uncle was very specific. And graphic. What if someone wanted to deliver something like that by busting into a bag with a clearly labeled address and go for a "visit" to pick them up at a later date?

So I did what any upright, responsible citizen would do: I barred the doors and cowered in my bedroom, fake Samurai sword close to hand.

Er, so, yeah. Once the cold grip of paranoia relented a bit to go get a cigarette, I called the airline and explained what happened. They had never heard of anyone finding something extra in their bag, it's usually the other way around (and how much confidence did that give me that my stuff was in good hands?). They suggested I call the police.

But tell them what? "Yes officer, I'd like to report a crime. Someone opened up my luggage and gave me stuff... No, nothing was missing... No, nothing illegal, just some video tapes... hello?". Yeah right. I know, it's still suspicious, and more than likely the police would think it's a legitimate concern, but I know the local constabulary have better things to do than "investigate" something as innocuous as this. Like giving out tickets for littering or making a left-hand turn. Real crimes.

At work I asked around: did anyone have a Super 8 video camera? And of course I had to explain why I wanted a camera every time and hear "Why, you have a new girlfriend? Hur hur hur..." every time.

Eventually, someone had a camera and brought it in for me. As I anxiously placed the first tape in I wondered what it could possibly be: a redux of the cell phone camera incident (Not again!)? Weird, funky, kinky porno (Ew.... hey that's not bad. ) ? Bland home movies of a WASP family vacation (shudder!)? The lost missive of some zany terrorist organization (Profit!)?

They were blank!

What an anti-climactic moment. I was bummed for the rest of the day. I was at work so no big change there. But what I did get out of it was a story idea (although I'm changing the blank tape thing) which is pertinent at this time for reasons I will relate later this weekend.

Stay Tuned!!!

Salad

I need to eat some.

Anyhoo, just a notice that I will be in fact updating this blog this weekend, just have alot of stuff to do. Here's what's coming up:

Sore Throat: The Epic Series

Tapes on a Plane: or Why I'll Only Take Carry-on When Travelling

Blank Page: How I'll be Guilted Into a Writing Career

Cottage Country: It Ain't Italy but it's Still Nice (Or is that in France?)

TLAs: EVE and DVDs

Singularity: How I Came to Terms With Never Having Sex Again.

Wagons East: Heading into the Smog

But for now I gotta do laundry....

Hey Everyone, I'm back! Hello?

Last day off before I return to the bit mines. What with one thing and another today is going to be busy but I'll give a summary, with details forthcoming.

Day one was damn hectic: alarm went off at 4:30 AM to get my 7 AM flight. The flight into T.O. was packed but we actually managed to get there on time. Bro #1 met us at the airport and we got to experience public transportation. Toronto actually has a good bus and underground system. You almost wouldn't need a car.

So after drinks and dinner (and more drinks) we went to SPAMALOT! Pretty damn good. It's a musical and I don't like musicals. It was funny though, so I give it 4 out of 5 tophats. And I gotta get the t-shirt ("I'm not quite dead yet").

So after that, the brothers Moby went to the peelers. It was described as a dive by some, but frankly I think any "gentleman's club" is scuzzy by default.

The experiment with lap-dances was a resounding success but we expended the budget sooner than expected. Yeesh.

So, drunk and fondled, went back to the hotel at 3 AM. Not quite a 24 hour day but damn close.

The next day we met up with our Uncle and went to Healy's; Jeff Healy's little downtown club. He and his Jazz Wizards put on a free show in the afternoons and it was bloody great. One of the little brothers commented that Healy himself looked stoned out of his mind, so we had to tell him that Healy is actually blind. I thought I was the unobservant one.

Later that night, we met up with the cousins and went to a club. Very hoity-toity, we westerners were a tad underdressed. Good booze and a damn good view. Calgary has alot of gorgeous women, but they're pretty cookie cutter in looks. Toronto has an incredible variety of women it was like Rome all over again.

Oh, and I ran into someone I knew there. My ex's friend. Which was cool as I liked her (not snooty like most of her friends). But I'm sure the phones/emails were abuzz after that. Still expecting a little fallout from that encounter.

Later on some family from the other side of the tree showed up so more alcohol was consumed, cheeks inched, "my how you've grown" comments made etc. We closed the place up, then me and the brothers went to the peelers. Again.

The next day was recovery day, so the cousins and the brothers did Dim Sum for lunch, then a Gypsy restaurant for dinner (which featured belly dancers). No peelers this time.

After three days of eating, drinking and various entertainments, we went to the cottage for the reunion proper. I'll write that one up later when I get my photos off the camera.

Good to be back though. Now if I can just get the rest of the week off....

Case of Acute Melodrama

Er, sorry about my over-acting yesterday. But to be fair being told that a ailment children commonly get without any reprecussions could do some serious damage to the ol' ticker is a tad disconcerting.

Besides, I think my doctor is a quack. I have Thrush, which is basically a reaction to penicillin. This was diagnosed by my Mom. The doc had me go for blood, urine and EKG tests.

I'm a staunch supporter of state-sponsored medical care, but jeez.

Holidays! Yay! Tanning! Food! And, well, it's rumoured that the nudie bars in Ontario allow for, well ..... lap dances. I've never had one so fully intend to try it out.

Strictly for research you understand.

In other news, I think when I get back I'll try out EVE Online. Like Planetside, I tried the free trial a while back and didn't like it. Looks like they've improved the UI (user interface not unemployment insurance) and I've been doing some research on new player guides etc.

I have an inherent, nay genetic need to fly in three dimensions and blow shit up. 2D just ain't cuttin' it, man!

So in the meantime, I'm just house cleaning, shopping for iPod accessories and getting my slack on. I may do some updates while away (I understand that there's these things called "Internet Cafes".) because frankly I just can't go cold turkey. I needs me my Internets tubes.

Vacation Plot Twists

A couple of twists as I start my two-week vacation.

First off I'm going to SPAMALOT! Yup, extreme geekiness ensues.

Secondly, I'm still not over the whole strep-throat thing. Went to the doctor yesterday and he wants me to go get some tests done as there is a risk of Rheumatic fever, which is basically damaged heart valves. I won't get the test results until I get back from vacation. So I won't be spending the entire time worrying about that. Right.

I always thought it was the smoking that was gonna do me in.

Clothes, Booze and my Family

First off, hats off to Capa for getting myself and other delinquent writer wanna-bees off of our collective butts and forcing (inflicting?) deadlines on us in the near future. More details later.

So I started the replacement of my stolen clothing today. Normally, I am not a "shopping" person. I employ the time honored technique of "get in, grab stuff, get out". On a side note this methodology does not work well in relationship to, well, relationships.

Of course the tough part is replacing shirts. Pants aren't a problem: black slacks, no pleats. But I've worked hard on building a collection of the nerdiest hipster-doofus bowling style shirts in town. Those are hard to come by. The ol' standby, Winners, just didn't have anything. So after hitting 5 shops I managed to get four shirts nobody else on the planet would be seen dead in. Eight more to go.

I still haven't cracked all that beer. Vodka and lime is just too damn refreshing plus an order of magnitude less gas than beer. So I'm giving it away as presents before it goes sour.

People don't take kindly to random strangers handing them a case of beer and running away. They tend to call the police. You would think that Stampede would be the perfect time to give away booze....

Because my family is essential insane, the past two days has been booking and rebooking hotel rooms, flights and figuring out what the hell is going on next week. My little brother intended to stay with my other little brother, but since it's 40+ degrees in T.O., he wanted to share my hotel room. Because of the late date, changing my room would have doubled the price for an extra bed, so I told him to get his own room. They guy makes more money than me, sheesh. Cheap bastard. Er, sorry Mom.

Next week is just two days of work, a couple of days of prep and house-cleaning (nothing worse than coming home to, well, what it normally looks like when I'm here). Needs me a new bathing suit (or two), as the Mediterranean salt apparently rots nylon. Despite the lunacy that is known as my family, I'm actually going to have a good time at this reunion. After all, this is the side of the family that has rum for breakfast.

Addendum

Sweet! LightWave 9 finally came out! I know what I'm spending an outrageous amount of money on when I get back!

I May Have Been Hasty

Ummm, so I sent an email to the girl I was seeing and had thought was giving me a brush off. I wished her the best of luck and all that.

Turns out that she wasn't doing the brush off thing. She's still interested in seeing me. So I left it open to make contact again.

Going back to the whole narrative imperative thing, the usual plot line is like I imagined: boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy at first then boy says/does something totally innocent and completely wrong. Girl makes boy nuts.

This on the other hand is a story I haven't been in yet.

We'll see.

Tell Me When It's Over

Truly Single again....

The past couple of weeks, the girl I was seeing kept breaking dates (with, at the time, seemed quite legitimate excuses). I attempted to make a date this Sunday, but she wanted to "play it by ear".

Apparently "play it by ear" produces a deafening silence.

Of course, it would be nice if she just told me she didn't want to continue. Not having the guts to tell me tells me either she's not quite ready to date again yet or she just doesn't have the guts to be honest.

Sure, feelings would be hurt, but I'm a grown up. Well, parts of me anyway. Dating is two people getting to know each other in order to determine if they want a future together. If one of them doesn't believe so, then it's over: wish each other well and part ways.

So I'm disappointed: not that she didn't want to see me anymore, but that she didn't respect myself or herself enough to just tell me. So no loss on my part.

In other news, the big family reunion is next week: should be fun (yet expensive) as I haven't seen many of the family out East more than once in 20 years. Plus, of course, it's 2 weeks off.

And apparently my cousins have single friends.....

Catch Your Bliss

A short report, but today I'm feeling quite blissful. All of my perceived troubles and woes just seem, well, inconsequential today. Maybe it's the nice day, the great workout I had, the drugs kicking in....

Anyways, just thought I'd record these thoughts as this is pretty much a "banner day" emotionally.

And also mark the point where it will inevitably just go straight down that creek...

Now, now, no need to be negative, Moby....

Today's Plot Twists

The Saga Continues!

The Clerks: Uncensored DVD is a bad print: keeps getting an "Unable to Read Disk" error. Mind you, I think my DVD player (aka Playstation 2) is dying a slow death, so I'll try it on my computer. So much for a bargain.

My date cancelled tonight. She has a sore throat so I can really empathise with that. Really hope it isn't strep. And no, we haven't done anything that would point to me as the carrier (darn it).

My current project may be cancelled or completely change again.

Maybe that's what I need to do with this blog: report my life as a series of convoluted plot twists and unlikely coincidences.

Narrative Imperative

There are some who think life has patterns. And everyday observations tend to substantiate this: things happen over and over again (almost) the same every time. There are many theories as to why this happens in life.

For example, there are those who firmly believe Murphy's Laws are an integral part of the universe: that when things can go wrong, they will. Spin me back to 1992, and I would whole-heartedly agree. Now, after observing a couple of things that have actually gone right, I don't believe that's how the universe works (most times anyways).

Then there are those who think - for whatever reason, from religion to physical causality - that everything that occurs is predestined. From the big-bang/six-day origin to the big-crunch/apocalypse, nothing is left to chance and that every occurrence can be predicted given enough divine/sub-atomic knowledge. I'm disinclined to believe this, but keep an open mind (from a science end, not a gospel end).

Still others believe in Karma: the idea that what good or evil you do in the universe, the universe delivers right back at ya. While this is a feel-good philosophy followed by some genuinely nice people, that theory does not, in the least, match my experiences.

For me, my causality viewpoint is Narrative Imperative. I actually couldn't find a link that describes it all that well, but basically it's like this: human behavior and experience follows common patterns (narrative) almost without fail (imperative). Ever hear someone say there are no new stories, that they all have been written and anything "new" is just rehashing old plots? That's the way the human mind works. Everyone knows that you don't go back into the house where the crazy, chainsaw wielding maniac is, but how many movies does this occur in? The human species seems programmed (genetically and by their society) to expect certain patterns of behavior.

So in my life, these patterns range from the mundane to the profound. For example, I know that when I park my car beside a truck with monster truck tires, I'm going to get a ding in my door. That's a pretty common one. A more obscure one is that when I start falling for a girl, there's a fifty-fifty chance that, over the course of a weekend, they'll meet someone, fall madly and passionately in love, and want to be with only with him. This is discovered when she tells me all about it. All about it. Every. Intimate. Detail. And then says it's great to have a friend she can tell this to.

No it hasn't happened lately, just saying.

So you get the idea.

The other part of the narrative imperative doesn't relate to patterns but rather is a way seeing how unexpected events occur. Human beings (well, some human beings) plan how things are supposed to go. Sometimes they go as planned, sometimes they... don't.

Which brings us back to me.

If you take a look at the "stories" in my life: my life from birth to today, my time with a person or at a job, or even the little events that make up the day, it seems like in many cases, there are "plot twists".

Some Examples:

I need to get alot of work done and I get strep throat. Once again, I must race against the clock to get things done, despite complications, to get to that happy ending.

I go to pick up my dry cleaning, which is basically all my work clothes, and the proprietor says they were stolen. He'll refund the money if I replace them (12 shirts, 3 pants) but in the meantime I'm down to tier 3 clothes.

I'm dressed in a ridiculous outfit to go to a party and get pulled over by the police not once, but twice.

When I applied to architecture school, I was first on the waiting list. While getting some courses to cover some bases, I got drunk for year and flunked out. While trying to get into Journalism school, I got my English degree. When I got a decent job out of school, I got laid off 3 months later. When my two businesses started to pick up, the cultural and political climates changed 180 degrees, leaving me homeless.

This kind of stuff happens to everyone (almost everyone). But to me, sometimes it seems I'm character in a story, and these things just come out of some cosmic author's word processor. Plot twists, then, in a what is normally a pretty straight life.

Not sure if it's good or bad (sometimes it's both). All I know is that when the last chapter ends, my name is in the Author's acknowledgements.

Some royalties would be nice too.

That Wacky Horseman!

So I've had a sore throat for a week. So I had problems swallowing carrots today at lunch.

So it turns out I have strep throat. Which means I'm quarantined for 24 hours. That's a pain in the ass, as last week's training means I have two weeks' worth of work to do in four days. Three now. And I can't go to the gym. I haven't been since Friday and my butt is widening to fit the chair as we speak.

Not sure where I got it though. My best guess was actually at training last week. The place where we were edjumacated was one of those offices in a mall. A mall that is petty much an informal homeless shelter. And handles on the doors to get in the mall gave me the heebie-jeebies. Yuck.

So it means I will be stuck at home tomorrow. And taking penicillin. Woo.

Yuck.

Long Weekend Rundown

Howdy y'all.

Oh dear gods it must be nearing Stampede...

Anyways Mom's B-day was good. Despite the fact that my little bro and I dragged our dear Mother to the pro shop to get her some new golf clubs, she insisted we don't (insisted meaning she said something along the lines of "Oh, don't waste your money on me!". And we learned long ago to just surrender) and get her a bike helmet instead. We tricked her into getting it at Costco, and paid for the major impulse buys she had.

The clubs would have been cheaper. But it's my Mom (awwwww). Capa, the obligatory "mama's boy" comment if you please....

Other than that, rummaged through the various discount bins and picked up this, one of these (Ach! Zombies!) and found this for $7. I've always tried to pick that last one up but it's always $60+.

Oh yeah and new rice cooker. Mmmm... ricey goodness.

So I have a slightly deeper farmer tan, a sore throat (hope it's a cold and not strep, which apparently is going around) and deep desire to win the lottery and live a life of debauchery. Okay, maybe one debauch then just be lazy. I can do that.

Alright a couch-potato/gaming slug. I know my limits.

Weekend Update!

Ummm, not alot actually.

A lot of plans fell through, I did manage to get some decent bike rides in. Other than the weekly chores, that's about it.

I did get some of my free beer. I haven't had any yet. Not sure why not.

Really, all I'm posting for is to just get something done this weekend.

The next week will be a tad more exciting. I'm off-site getting Java training all next week. Then after 8 hours of training I have to go back to the office (oi) each day.

Company BBQ on Wednesday, which should prove interesting. Hope the weather is nice.

Then on the long weekend (longer in that I am taking Friday off) I'm going to visit my Mom for her 60th B-day. As I want to give her new golf clubs, and know abslutly zilch about golf, I'm just going to take her shopping.

And sometime in there, I'm hoping another date.

News Update!

So yeah I was sick for the interview. But it was moved again so now it's not an interview as such, just checking out a new prospect. Which is okay. I can raise my 'Networking' skill a point at least. 299 more of those and I get my "Schmooze: Level 2".

Next week: actual training!!! Java, thank goodness. I was tad worried we would be spending two days on variables and control structures, but rumour has it that stuff will be covered in the first morning. The instructors have been told that people will have to keep up or be left behind. So it'll be like Survivor: Java.

And as previously stated, I would probably get voted off the island before the boat hit the dock. Which is good 'cuz then they ship you to a resort for the remainder of the show.

And for those of you asking for details on the woman I'm seeing....

Too bad.

I don't wanna jinx it.