Post-Halloween Nostalgia

The day after Halloween. For myself (and the little bro's) it was probably more memorable than the costumes of the day before. You see, L'il Bro G had a completely different candy retention policy as did myself and L'il Bro B.

In times past, by now Li'l Bro B and I had scarfed down the more desirable treats, leaving only the remnants of such things as raisins and sunflower seeds. With stomachs heaving we would be satiated.

For about twenty-four hours.

Li'l Bro G on the other hand would inventory his loot. I'm not kidding, he would count and write down how much he had of each type of goodie and then decrement the count as they were consumed. He also rationed what he had so it would more than likely last until Christmas.

And of course, there was always the danger of predatory scavengers a.k.a. his brothers.

The Easter Bunny could have taken lessons from G. He would stuff sweets in nooks and crannies that the DEA wouldn't have thought of. He would have hid Mars bars on Mars if only he had the technology. Inevitably, one or two items would be discovered (after a long and purposeful search) and scarfed down immediately.

This would provoke a conflict when G found what was missing. And he checked every damned day. Accusations quickly followed by outright denials devolved into finger pointing. Then the first sugar-fueled punch would be thrown.

The damage to our dental work came sweets, but not in the form of cavities. A Hot Wheels track section could take out an eye. A thrown baseball could cripple at twenty feet. Noses were broken with a well placed throw of a Weeble. Thinking back, my dad could have saved a lot of trips to the hospital by buying Nerf products.

By the middle of November, detente would be enforced by dad invoking the tried and true ritual of "Santa only brings presents to Good Boys". This would signal the start of the Cold War.

Assets moved about in a byzantine method of redirection, falsified information and dirty tricks. Alliances would be struck only to be the victim of double- and triple-crosses before either party even left the room. The pall of fear and mistrust came a full thirty days after Halloween and went much deeper and invoked a greater sense of dread.

By the end of November, we had three powers fighting and aligning over a limited pool of resources, a la 1984. But December was close at hand. With it came candy canes. And G's meticulous record of the number and location of the same on the tree.

And we knew when the others were sleeping....

Halloweenie

Happy Spook Day to one and all!

That's about it. Not doing anything this year except picking up my dry cleaning and maybe comic books. No costume, no party. Although I thought I should start on next year's costume.

Rants and Rant

Henry Rollins was amazing! The idiot parking in my spot when I got home was less so. Because I have been instilled with a sense of tolerance I won't get it towed until tomorrow morning.

That is all.

Technical Difficulties

I know I promised a developer-related article this weekend. I'm still working on a draft (instead of just winging it) but this weekend got too "busy". It's turning out to be a long article but I'm trying to make it a non-rant. I'll let Mr. Rollins do the ranting tonight.

Long-term Relationship

My first weekend without going to work (so far, it's only Saturday). Meaning of course that I've had time to do the things I've been putting off for a few weeks. I managed to actually submit my passport renewal, do a big grocery run and to top it off two new geek bits. The first (a surprise) was Terry Pratchett's Making Money. The second was picking up Cake's new album. I spun it in the car and even though it's mostly covers, it's all Cake.

I also dropped off my dry cleaning. My dry cleaner, to whom I have been giving my custom for four years plus, moved from a convenient location to me to way down south. But I've been going to tony (yes we're on a first name basis) for quite a while, despite having most of my work clothes stolen off of his premises. The crappy location is what prompted the move I think.

With the new place, his prices went up significantly, but he gave me a 30% discount (making it cheaper than before I might add) to what really was a great price considering the dry cleaner closest to me charges nine bucks a silk shirt.

I think this is the longest non-work related relationship I have right now. In a way, that's sad, but in another it's always great to go somewhere where they treat you better than a customer. Going to drop my laundry at Tony's is actually a bit of a treat when the rest of the world treats like a number, a source of income or just a plain nuisance.

Here's to Tony!

Roll a Little Forward, Roll a Little Back

So the death march reprieve was revoked today, so it looks like we're back on the death race again. This has me a little grumpy and a bit incautious:

1. Making the "Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life" joke on a teleconference with vendors located in Southern California.
   
2. Speculating aloud if getting rid of the marketing department would improve productivity all across the board with the Acting V.P. of Information Services, who happens to be the V.P. of Marketing, sitting in the next cubicle.
   
3. After the Marketing Director says "From what I know about software.." responding with "What do you know about software (apparently he was a developer for about six months ten years ago).
   
4. Walking around the office with a pair of these in hand.

Yeah, I'm a stress puppy.

Up for Air

*gulp!*

Whalp, the death march continues but the extension of the date means that we won't be marching as long on a miles forced-marched-per-day basis. Hopefully I'll get a full (technical!) post this weekend. Barring the parental invasion.

However for my female readership (shut up Capa), I just want to get something off my chest about ... chests.

I'm six-foot-two. If you are standing in front of me, facing me and wearing something with a scoop or low neckline, I'm looking at your face. Especially if you're five-six or shorter, I can't help but look at your cleavage. Whaddaya want me to do? I can look you straight in the eye and whoomp, dere it is. Or rather, they are. Right in my field of vision. If you look up at the branches of a tree you can't help but see sky.

So don't get defensive, creeped out or otherwise. I am a gentleman who, post-surgery, has 20/15 vision in both eyes. Trust me, it's an effort of will on my part to still be a gentleman in that situation and not look at your cleavage.

Sheesh.

Quick Update

The Death March continues, so I've been too busy to update. Hopefully I'll back to my "Regular Schedule" soon.

Thanks to all those who complimented me on my last post. Been considering starting a second blog for that kind of stuff. I'll cook up a few posts first before I publish.

I'll my personal kvetching for this blog. Enjoy!

Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right! Here I Am...

Let's start off this post on a positive note for a change. Today, I ran at six mph for twenty minutes straight on the treadmill. Which is four minutes longer than in my plan.

The running thing began about three weeks ago. The day I started I was winded at the four minute mark. Maybe the pack a day has something to do with that. Since then though things have been going up in terms of time and going down in terms of what the scale says.

Now those who know me know I'm not morbidly obese or anything. In fact I've had the opposite problem: I have difficulty keeping weight one. Had I should say. Now, I can't keep the good weight where I want it (chest, arms, legs) and have accumulated some where I don't want it (belly, thighs and butt). But running has already reduced my waistline an inch (I can get into those jeans) and...

Okay, that's starting to sound too girly. Let's just sum up by saying "Running Good for Moby" and leave it at that.

The last annoyance of the day is I upgraded my iPod software and it bricked. I managed to get it going again but I have to reload the bugger. I was planning on rearranging it anyways but put in a full day at work today (Thanksgiving!) and just wanted to watch Blade Runner and shower, not in that order.

The first annoyance of the day is I may have been a bit hasty on some (certainly not all) of my comments about my downstairs neighbors. I had made a statement earlier that they were partying and having domestic disputes. Now I think they were indeed partying but the domestic disputes came from my neighbors to the west. Justin, if you're reading this, your girlfriend is right: throwing shit around when you are mad is what a four year old does. Grow the fuck up.

The neighbors to the east on the other hand have started watching foreign language films with the volume at "eleven" well past midnight. It vibrates the pictures on the walls.

I'm seriously considering moving before Christmas again if this keeps up. I have never had neighbors like this. Surprisingly my upstairs neighbors, I never hear a thump or peep from...

Mythos

We're doing a classic Death March on the project at work. For those who don't know, a death march is when a project is at the point where there is no hope of meeting a deadline unless everyone on the development team puts in alot of overtime.

It should probably be noted that more often than not that the root cause of a death march is the person who is not spending their evening and weekends punching a keyboard.

So anyways, while I was waiting for a build or three to compile, I put together a l'il list. It's actually about software development. Shocking that sort of thing could actually appear on my blog! Anyways....

Myth: It's faster to build "it" using a browser interface instead of a client-based interface.

In fact it will probably take longer. You have to take browser, operating system, servers and other environmental factors into account that you don't (or not as much) for a client application. Plus, what is a simple thing in a client application is a nightmare of complexity via a browser.

Myth: It is cheaper to build "it" using a browser interface instead of a client-based interface.

Client software applications can be expensive. Developers, testing, support etc can cost quite a bit. A web application needs the exact same resources, blood sweat and tears as a client application.

A client application sits on the box it is installed on. A web application sits on the web server that you either have to own or rent connected to the network that you either have to own or rent. And those boxes and networks need people and software to run effectively. And of course you need support programmers to keep the software running. So while it may be cheaper from the narrow scope of building the software (although not by much when it is in fact cheaper) you have to account for cost of ownership of the application for the life of the application.

Myth: A web browser can do all the same things as a client application does.

As people demand more and more "desktop" type look-and-feel for web applications, the more layers of complexity you need to put into a web-application. Two very big dangers arise from this:

1. The more you do, the fewer browsers and operating systems are compatible
   
2. The more you do, the more fragile (easy to break, hard to fix) the application becomes. In the client world, this can be mitigated by a well-designed application. For web applications, this is unavoidable.
   
3. A web page is inherently stateless. That means as a baseline, one web page knows nothing about any other web page (except for where it is). While they are many ways to make web pages look like they are state full, it is done by inelegant and complex means (as compared to full client software).
   

Myth: There are more web developers than client developers out there (or at least they are easier to find)

Kind of a half-truth. While there seems to be quite a few more people who know HTML than C++, there can be a wide gulf between a web designer (working with how a web page looks) and a web application developer (working with a web interface with a complex piece of software sitting behind it). In fact a web application developer needs to be a web designer *and* a client application developer.

Myth: Web code is throw-away code

Any code could be throw away code. For simple things it is easy to throw up a web page that performs a simple task (or it least it can be) to be replaced later.

Anything of great complexity takes a great deal thought and effort to produce (Web or client). Telling your web application developers that their code is throw-away because they program for a specific interface technology is a good way to find out how the job market is. Just because a web page is more ephemeral than a solid .EXE, doesn't mean it should be regarded as disposable.

Myth: Everyone can use an application with a web interface. It's as easy as using a browser.

Ever work as technical support on anything? Some people, through no fault of their own (in most cases) really don't know how to use a computer. While browsing to Google is pretty straightforward, what happens behind the scenes boggles the minds of a lot of really technical people.

Creating a easy-to-use interface is both an art and a science that requires a lot of thought, work, revision and code. It does not just happen because you are building for a browser.

There is also a really, really big danger if non-power users (powerless users?) start treating a web application like a client application. The first example is the "double-click" danger. In many web applications, a double click (the first click selects what they want to do, the second tells the computer to do it, at least in a client app) is a disaster waiting to happen. Double clicking "Submit" with credit card info can (and far too often does) lead to double billing. It doubles how much work the web application has to do when that happens. Take the problems you have with users in a client app and multiply by two.

A well educated user is a safe user (regardless of the type of application). An educated user is not a cheap user as well, and far too often user education is an afterthought. If thought of at all that is. (Yes, true for any application).

Myth: A web application is easier to support than a client application

The "cost of ownership" for a web application was mentioned above. Now add your support system that actually needs to help your users. In addition to the software, your support people need to know about the multiple browsers, multiple operating systems, the problems with combinations of the previous and more than likely need to tap into which ISP is having problems at the very minute. All while dealing with irate customers who can't understand why their credit card was billed twice.

If there is a single advantage in supporting a web application, it's that you can deploy a patch much faster and easier that a client application. But unless you have a really solid infrastructure and application design, it means *nobody* will get to use the web app while you patch it. And every time you do, your support people will be bombarded with calls.

Dramatique

The podunk neighbor saga continues.

On Thursday, they did it again: they had a little party which prompted yet another 3 AM phone call to the resident manager's line. The next day she asked me to write up a complaint Apparently they had refused to sign the eviction notice until they saw them. Now I can understand that they want to see the specific complaints, but jeez, they didn't notice people banging on their walls/ceiling/floor all those times?

Apparently they got the notices at 2 AM this morning. There was yelling, sobbing, hitting and/or throwing whatever is at hand. The female tried to blame all of it on the male ("I lost my job because you wanted to party!") but she was pretty much the loud one.

So I'm not sure what happens now: rumour has it an eviction is ninety days notice. There is no way in hell I can put up with this until Christmas. I'm going to have to look into that.

Other than that this is the first weekend where my responsibilities are minor, so it's been pretty relaxing. I ran 15 minutes straight at the gym yesterday, which is a helluva lot better than the four I started with a couple of weeks ago. I'm already noticing a mass shift in the belly/gluteus maximus regions. Long way to go though. Wonder if I should shoot for a half-marathon next summer? Mmmmm, runner babes....

All in all, life seems to be settling down a bit after August (only took about a month). Still looking for decent PC games, still looking for Miss Right-Now (finding Miss Right has been twenty years of disappointment, thanks very much) and the job is settling into being just a job.

So really, I'm back to kvetching about the usual things. Remarkably, that's an improvement.

Tuesday.

Argh, work is driving me nuts.

It was an eventful day, which is putting the "I'll give them a chance" attitude to the test. I'm not sure if global to the company or just one of my superiors, but I'm getting the distinct impression that what is being said is not what is going to be done.

Three more weeks to see.

Doin' laundry until I can get a decent ping for playing games.

I'm thinking about attraction and forming a theory based on tiers rather than the standard "out of 10" rating. Which means I'm ready to date again. Technically. The interpretation of "date" in this case can be read as "get some". The whole dating process just seems to be a "been there done that" sort of thing for me at the moment. I'm beginning to agree with what I overheard the other day.

On an upbeat note, I, er, almost finished "Guitar Hero" on medium....

Monday Wrap-Up

Well, for all and sundry who gave me all the best on my thirty-ninth birthday: thank you. I'm assuming you will be the same group of people participating in the intervention when I have the big four-oh.

The actual day itself was pretty non-descript, L'il Bro' B took me out for lunch (L'il Bro G was working) and that's about all the festivities (which I do not mind at all). Mind you it was a mind-blowing, belly-busting season premier of Family Guy. So that made my day. That an a l'il something that gets tossed out of the InterTubes once in a while. Sometimes the universe is a benevolent place.

I hate it when I think "hey I should blog that!" all day then sit in front of the keyboard and totally space.

Oh yeah!

Okay, have I ever introduced the "Moby Break-Up Recovery Calculator"? It gives an indication on how long it should take to recover from a break-up and be ready to "get back on the horse".

1. Take the duration of the relationship in the largest whole units (day, week, month, year)
   
2. Double the numerical amount
   
3. Decrement the unit of measurement (years become months, month become weeks, weeks become days).
   
4. The result is the approximate 'recovery time'.
   

Note that this does not produce a linear result. A year becomes two months but six months becomes twelve weeks (about three months).

One note on the original "duration". While the start of a relationship can be readily identified, the "end" depends not just on the date of a formal sundering, but when "emotionally" you were no longer together.

Just a little nonsensical measurement. I'm a geek after all.

Lessee, what else...

Oh yeah. NaNoWriMo is of course coming up in November. Considering last year's debacle, I'm wondering if I should try it again (without moving or wooing a member of the opposite sex this time). I'm inclined to do an informal attempt at it using my previously aborted start (which disqualifies me from the actual contest). Alternately I could start my Zombie novel but that requires a considerable amount of medical research...

Speaking of wooing, I'm not sure if I had an actual date or not last week. Long-time acquaintances getting together for dinner does not constitute a date. Besides, from what I know, the only way I could be more of an opposite of what she is looking for in a guy is to actually be a girl. Maybe I'm reading the signals wrong. Or that aren't there at all.

Women are a mystery to me: and I tend to flip to the back. Triple-entendre!

Oh yeah, one more thing: I fully expect that 25% of IT personell in North America will come down with a strange 24-hour bug tomorrow. Myself, I do not carry the correct vector conditions.

Emotional Intelligence

Today I finished my two day training course on Emotional Intelligence, a required course at work.

I had heard a bit about this before: various teachers I know had talked about it. The result of incorporating into schools seems to involve making sure kids aren't held accountable for anything so they don't get their feelings hurt. I can See where the principles behind EI can lead to that. If the people don't get it, it can get way misinterpreted.

It boils down to "Know Thyself". If you know what you react to and how you react, you can correct any negative reactions. I'm overgeneralizing of course.

A couple years back I did that sort of thing: took a good, hard look at my life and who I was, and what I needed to change. Overall the exercise was a success (still more work) but I did it strictly on the fly: no self-help books for me.

One thing that we did was one of those self-assessments. Turns out I am an "Amiable-Analytic". Amiable meaning I like to make sure everyone gets along (peacemaker) and very, very defensive of my peer group (geeks). Analytic of course is very logical, studied, thinks things through, sticks to the facts etc.

So really the Amiable was a bit of a surprise, but like I said I've been working on things.

The big revelation was part of the test profiles you in stress situations. I went from Amiable-Analytic to Driver-Analytic. A Driver is a type that is task driven, charges ahead and generally damns the torpedoes. That was the category I was dead last in the "normal" situations.

That actually explains a lot.

A lot was made at my previous job on my "leadership abilities" which I really didn't agree with. yeah I'm a nice guy and get along with people but leadership? Nah, too much work. But again and again I found myself in charge principally because nobody else would. This led to me telling a variety of managers, a couple of directors and a vice-president to "Lead or get the hell out of my way". I'm actually amazed (still) that it actually worked (on most occasions).

It probably also also led to the comment that when in a crisis, people in my way feel like they have been ravaged by a bunny rabbit.

When an Old Friend Passes

Today at 6:08 PM, an old and valued friend passed away. I first suspected something was wrong when I detected an irregular ticker. Despite the usual procedures, my watch did not last the rest of the day. Cause of death is attributed either to a dead battery or build-up in the inner workings.

My 256Mb USB thumb drive watch will be missed. It was most most prominent way of telling people, "Hey! I'm a dork!". It gave me street cred in the server room. And it has taken care of my vital files and resume for four years. The data (if retreivable) will by synched in a solemn ceremony at midnight tonight. The theme from "Pac-Man" will be performed.

So it looks like a golden opportunity to make a ThinkGeek order!

Hey, ya gotta move on.....

Karma-riffic!

The redneck podunk smacktards who keep partying are getting the boot! There is some justice in the world. Hats off to my cute building manager who is processing the paperwork now. And who flirted with me on the stairs. Which is also cool.

today I made the last push to get everything squared away in the new place. Except for hanging art on the walls, she's all done. I'll probably nit and pick over the next little while, but I ca actually move around without stubbing my toe on anything. At least no more than normal.

The parental invasion this weekend turned out to be more of a probe-in-force than a full scale assault. We watched the Riders vs Stamps humiliation just across from the stadium. I could not believe the carnage. No, not the football game: the number of accidents, intentionally broken windows, the side-swipes and a head-on collision before, during and after the game.

Next week: b-day 39.

Only in my Dreams?

Okay, just woke up from an odd dream.

I'm in HMV (or as my friends and I call it, HIV) with a couple of people who are my friends but I don't recognize. Or maybe they were relatives. The store is obviously being re-structured with a new floor plan.

One of my friends/relatives wants to browse some more, but gives me two CDs to buy for her. I go to the counter where William Shatner is working.

Bill rings through my purchases and tells me there is a five dollar "Damage and Breakages" fee in addition to the purchase cost. I ask if I broke anything. He tells me it's standard for every purchase. Bill looks a little sheepish about it.

So I refuse the purchase and tell Bill to undo the transaction on my credit card.

Okay, not terribly interesting, but is the fact that I seem to be getting to nickle and dimed even in my dreams is a tad disturbing.

I hope I haven't given anyone any ideas with this...

Weekend Shot

Okay, aside from the redneck, podunk, fucktard neighbors partying and domestic-disputing until 5 AM, I took a half-day off for a Parental Invasion. Which means my weekend, as stated in the title, is shot to hell.

Tired, grumpy et. al. beach required.

More Random Encounters

First off, I'm living in the same apartment that The German used to live in: I keep getting her mail. Change of address please! Actually it's charities begging for money, so I understand if my mailbox fills up with these things.

Secondly: two women discussing dating in the elevator at work. One is going on what sounded like an Internet date (aka the dreaded Lavalife or similar) tonight. She was, of course, nervous so her friend in the spirit of solidarity solidarity says "I hate dating, but at least you get a free meal out of it. After that though it sucks."

I knew it!

And I actually told some folks today who were trying to woo me to their company that I'm sticking with the new job. There's hope. Light at the end of the tunnel.

Which gave me sense of deju vu as that's exactly what I said about the old job. I never, ever, ever thought I would think of myself as too optimistic.

Huh-boy...

Random Encounters

So on the way home from work, I had the feeling I was going to run into my ex. That is to say, the ex before my last ex.

Sure enough it happened.

We chatted a bit, and she's getting hitched! Which is great actually: it's what she always wanted. Actually we did chat for a while: she's moving to Michigan to be with her guy, selling her condo at an outrageous profit and seems to have lost twenty or so pounds. She is quite pleased with her situation. All the best and we went on our separate ways.

And the end I had the thought that I dodged the bullet. Kinda cruel, but there ya go. She's happy, I'm .. er, me. That's all that really counts.

The apartment is looking better, but the road to organization was interrupted by my downstairs neighbor to complain about the hammering. I was putting together Ikea furniture, so a certain amount of hammering (and a large amount of swearing) is inevitable.

I was going to be polite, but the guy was an asshat from the over-load knock to the bug-eyed, mouth breathing expression on his mug. I said that I was moving in and that there probably was going to be more noise.

He just banged on his ceiling after that. Gonna be a long six months.

So by the rule of three, I should have another random encounter: roll 2d10 and look up the result on the following chart.

*rolls*

You hear someone playing loud music beneath your window. Looking out of your balcony you see what appears to be two trolls. They are drunk and wearing billed caps with with "John Deere" embroidered in the sweat stains. What do you do?

*rolls for initiative*