A Job Half Done

Well, I found a place.

About $200 a month more than I wanted to spend (actually, about $600, but rents have gone up). The location is good, it's a decent size and it's in a quiet neighborhood. And surprising it's one of two places I saw today that were tolerable. What won out was the aforementioned quietness, and also the layout of the apartment: There's a "dining room" that I can use as an office area. The kitchen is tiny but you don't need much room for Kraft Dinner.

So the next step is to actually figure out how to get from here to there. I'll find out Monday when the current residents will be gone: I hope it's before the 1st, maybe I can hire movers.

One (not surprising) came out of the various conversations with building managers: they're having a hard time renting out one-bedrooms. I heard that out of ten applications, only one or two qualify (something about not spending more than 1/3 of income on rent). And that was from more than one landlord. Can't say I feel much pity, but I can hope that rents will settle down a bit. What with what's happening with house prices down south, interest rates going up and the market actually slowing down (it may not seem like it, but those who can buy have bought).

I saw plenty of For Sale signs in the past few days. And it seems like they aren't going anywhere.

And joy of joys, Laroo (my sweet Laroo) will be back tomorrow. She'll be jetlagged, hungry and sorely missing her puppy (no, not me) but I don't care :)

Yay!

Now, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day reading comics, watching 300 and playing games. After that, I need to pack.

And the Hits Just Keep On Coming...

I'll make this quick, as I am now seething with rage.

Yesterday had two odd moments. First I stop off at the grocery store across the street from my new place of employment and check some old lottery tickets. The guy behind the counter shows me a "result receipt" he obviously just pulled off the counter beside him, he didn't even run it through the machine. After I get him to try again (and yes, his ass has been reported, it gets better) it says my ticket is worth 20 bucks. So yay!

He doesn't believe I have a legit ticket. So he tries calling the local lottery office and is on hold for twenty minutes. During my 30 minute lunch break. He finally gets through, I get my $20, he gets reported.

Fuck-wad.

Second was an odd moment on the way home from work. A very good looking young woman is pouring out tears whilst sitting on the stoop of what I assume was her apartment building. She was dressed in a very nice outfit that looked formal (who goes to something formal in the middle of a Thursday?). Anyways, she's sobbing to her friend on her cell, quite loudly. She's pregnant, her boyfriend isn't home, and her friend, Angel, needs to tell her what to do.

Awkward walking by that.

Then there's the hunt for new apartment, which has made me want to hunt landlords with a rusty spear. $1650 per month for a "two bedroom". You couldn't fit a queen size in the master bedroom and the second was (and I have the floor plan to prove it) nine feet by seven feet. And they wanted to charge me a non-refundable deposit (which in layman's terms is a fee, but apparently not in the eyes of the law) of seventy-five buck to fill out the application form.

So I'm getting a cheap, tiny apartment for a year. If this stupid housing situation doesn't burst by then, I'm buying. In Toronto. Or Kelowna.

I'm beginning to hate this burg....


Job's okay, marketing people need to be kept on a short, tight leash and Laroo still ain't back.

Grrrrrr....

Okay bad day.

Laroo is in England (which is great for her). I miss her already. Alot. But she's going to see a lot of stage productions (for "work"), gong to Stratford and taking a tour of Stonehenge where you can touch the plinths. The stones. The rocks. Whatever they are.

Last night I determined the combination of (a) an ISP that oversold so much they have brought their network to a grinding halt in my area; (b) a wireless router that I am finding out is the biggest lemon on the market (not just my opinion) and; (c) iTunes means I will no longer purchase music from iTunes. The service is slooooow here in the Great White North. Not to mention that they don't have the stuff I am looking for (although it's available in the U.S.A.).

And work got interesting. I discovered today that there is a huge flaw in this big project they are ramping up with ridiculous deadlines. There's no way we can do what Marketing wants us to do. I figured this out at five o'clock today and get to tell people tomorrow morning. Joy.

There's a bright spot though. The Order of the Stick is probably the funniest as well as the best written web comic I have ever read. 477 strips read in two nights.

It's geeky but if you have ever played D&D even once in your life you'll get the most of the in jokes. What makes it great is the writing: there are very well developed characters, incredible plots, real human drama (or demi-human) and something that goes beyond what you normal think of as "funny pages".

Don't let the stick-figure art throw you (like it did to me the first time I looked at it a while back). I'm accusing it of literature.

As soon as I get a permanent address, I'm buying all the books. And probably the "I dream of the day when I will learn to stop asking questions for which I will regret knowing the answers.".

I think I relate to Roy the most...

Restlessnessness

Kind of an odd day. After three days of having my back attempting to hunch me over like Quasimodo (Quasimoby?) I find myself at odds with myself. Not over anything in particular, but just a feeling of being bored combined with a feeling of being bore with my usual distractions. Gaming, reading, drinking coffee etc. I can' seem to do any f them for more than thirty seconds.

Laroo is spending most of the day with relatives fixing her deck. She's coming into town for dinner but I'm still booored.

The first week of the new job went pretty well all considered. I have myself a good team (despite the fact that I'm about fifteen years senior in years to all of them). I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm not going to be 100% effective after five days. I am chomping at the bit though so next week I'll introduce some things that may or may not prove popular to everyone. Some of the people some of the time is the best I can hope for I think.

See now I'm bored of writing this. Twitchy. It's annoying.

Well there is laundry. Of course there's always laundry.

Not quite sure why this is happening. You would think that my first weekend after a new job I'd be more than willing to sink into my distractions, as I am wont to do. Something is fizzing in my brain but I can't for the life of me think of what it is. Did I forget something? Miss something? Not miss something. Frustrating.

Two Days, Still Employed

What a difference a day makes. Especially when that day starts with your alarm going off at seven AM. A sound you hadn't heard in over two months...

But so far, so good. I haven't started a new job in years, and it's kind of showing. Although I'm anxious to "get the ball rolling" on some ideas, I really need to reign myself in a bit (mixing metaphors). Okay hows about this, I'm chomping at the bit to get going but I need to reign myself in. Better.

It's interesting: so far most people have been giving the impression that I don't know what I'm getting into, it's pretty bad, disorganized, chaotic etc.

They have no idea. This is cake! So far at least. This old warhorse has gone into this battlefield before. I can see what can go wrong, what will go wrong if certain things happen and how to fix it. But it's only my second day.

On the home-front, I've given up on trying to find a place until later this month when people start to give notice for the end of August. I've called about a dozen places. Six don't answer their phones, five say they have rented out already and one, well I expect to look up and hear someone say "It rubs it on it's skin or else it gets the hose again!". Besides, now that rent is about a third of my monthly take-home pay, I'll use the money I would have to put down for over-lapping rents to hire movers.

And and by the way, much Love to Laroo. She got stung by some nasty wasps not once but twice last week. Her leg is swollen up like a thing that swells up really big. She's on antihistamines and antibiotics. Knocked her right on her keister (mmmmm... Laroo keister). Poor Laroo.

And huzzahs to The German. I'm surprised you're willing to go within fifty feet of Capa, let alone work with him. Work him over maybe...

Rent to Own

Naturally, since I'm looking for a new place, I decided to look at actually buying something instead of renting. In this burg you're looking at about $250k for a place with about 500 square feet. So did some math.

Base mortgage amount: $250,000 (and that's low end)
10 year mortgage at 8% (going rate): $96,848 interest
Condo fees: $200 x 120 (10 years worth): $24,000
$1508.02 a month in payments, paid bi-weekly.

So that makes it $120,848 in money paid above and beyond the actual cost of the place.

Renting the same place (given a steady rent, I know not all that realistic)
$1000 x 12 x 10 (ten years) = $120,000.

Steady rent is not realistic again, but consider your own place needs to be maintained, and frankly condo fees go up as well, so for the purposes of this exercise I'll assume they cancel out.

So I can rent and save up money to buy a place for cash (or come close) or buy and pay 75% more per month as opposed to renting. And wind up in the exact same place (capital vs savings).

Looks like I'll be renting with the caveat that I put away $500 per month towards a down payment on a place that is significantly larger than a closet.

Hot. Holy Crap.

Okay it's about twenty-eight degrees in my place. This is not a comfortable temperature for me. But that's okay as the view due to the heat from my balcony. Hot.

And this of course is the last evening of the mini-retirement, which I will be spending watching the Venture Brothers (Season 2) reading books ("Soon I Will Be Invincible") and playing computer games (name withheld due to NDA).

And it's too damn hot to even blog. So all I'll say is, work sucks, stick it to the man and people call the cops when you live on the fourth floor and go out on the patio with a soaked white T-shirt. At least if you're an almost-forty year old male computer geek.

Indentured Again

No I didn't just come back from the dentist. I came back from my new place of employment!

Yup, I signed my life away on the dotted line. My mini-retirement is coming to an end as of next Monday. So I need to do all the stuff I've been putting off for two month in the next five days....

The job looks okay: note quite the pay-cheque I was hoping for but they do have a bonus structure that almost gets me there. I'll be doing the exact same thing I was doing at my last place of employment: leading. As much as I ever lead anyways. But the difference is in my ignorance. I'm guessing (ie hoping) there will be less of "Do you have a sec" and "Can you do me a favour?".

And yes, for those who know me, I'll be happy to pass along a resume. Except for Capa, apparently he needs some long-term disability due to starting some exercise.

Wobbly Pops are good for what ails ya. Ale is good for what ails ya? That works.

Sooooo the next mid-life challenge on the roster is attempting to find a two-bedroom apartment that is within walking distance to work. And, of course, finding something for September 1st is the absolute worst time of year to do so in this burg...

Almost ... There ....

Okay I almost have a new job. The offer is being drawn up (after some negotiations today) and should be available for my Dyk Moby on Monday.

The amazing thing is that I didn't realize I was that stressed out about finding a job. It's a huge relief but also a huge surprise that it was weighing me down so much. And there's still the nagging worry that "Almost...there..." will turn into "They come from ... behind ...!". But that may be because I've been playing Lego Star Wars again. Love that game.

And on top of that, it looks like a great job. I won't go into details as this is a blog after all, but it's the kind of situation where change is happening fast. They need someone who can put some structure around it while still delivering software.

So pretty much my last job.

At least this time I won't be sucked into doing legacy crapola. It's all about leadership baby.

I start the week after next, so I'm going to take the next week to really and truly relax (and tell all those recruiters I'm no longer looking for work) and lavish Laroo with the affection she so richly deserves.

Crash. Burn.

Okay that didn't go well.

While waiting for the number 2 folks to get back to me on my second interview, while holding off number 3 until I hear from number 2, I had a second interview today with number 45 (or there abouts).

It was a technical interview. And it was all about .NET.

Now if you plonk a sizable chunk of C# in front of me and tell me something is busted, I can can pretty much fix it. If you plonk a software specification in front of me, well, I'll be pulling out manuals quite a bit. It's one of the reasons I left my old job: my technical skills (skillz?) are sorely behind in terms of the latest and greatest.

And I don't hide that fact. When it comes to databases, I can boast some 'leetness but when it comes to C# I always let the people interviewing know I don't hit the ground running, I just hit the ground.

And I told the person I first interviewed that exact thing.

So the second interview comes up as technical inquisition. I aced (I think) the team-building and database parts. C# .... not so much. And it was three quarters of the interview.

This has stressed me out. Critical hit to my confidence stat.

So I probably won't be hearing from them. I hope I'll be hearing from number 2 today. Number 3 is actually scaring me a little now.

Dammit, maybe I should just give up and sling over-priced caffeinated beverages for a living...

No Show

Another day another interview. Although today... didn't.

I showed up at the oil and gas place where an agent had arranged an interview. Nice offices. Nice offices. Having enough cash seems to improve the decor.

The guy who was supposed to interview e comes in with a very sheepish look on his face. He explains that they hadn't had a chance to defineany roles or positions due to a by out of another company or something. And he was late for a meeting.

No interview and I had time to kill. So I wandered around downtown a bit. Gods, I love summer. Capa can explain that one for ya.

I'm, again, miffed although only slightly. Like I said, there's an offer on the table, and another (I hope) coming quick. If that weren't the case "slightly" would become "greatly". But I'm being very zen-like about it. Shit does happen, even at the best run of companies.

Still...

Long weekend and Stampede coming up. Which means I really should leave town if at all possible. The noise around my place has gone from loud to cacophonous and it's only Thursday.

Besides, I think my PS2 has gone to console heaven. It was a good four (five, maybe?) year run though. The newer ones are much smaller and cheap like borscht. Not red like beet soup though.

And I've officially started meandering here. Again. So I'll go now.

What The?

Er, I'm hoping this looks okay because the Blogger interface is currently in Kanji... one sec.

Okay that's fixed. Domo arigato, Mister Roboto.

So anywho. The job front has been quite interesting this week. I had an interview Monday with the folks over at (well I won't say at the moment) for a six month contract. I thought I did okay in the interview. When I asked when they would be making a decision they had said sometime next week. The next day they offered me the contract.

Between the interview and the offer, I got a call from another company, who are actually number 2 on my "ideal places" list for a second interview. We booked for Friday, which was supposed to be before the first guys made a decision. So I had to tell the agent who set up the first interview that I would like to wait until that second interview results were in.

I hate it when it when I'm spoilt for choice. History has shown that as I try and make the best choice, all the options fade away. So I'm hoping #2 gets back to me mid-week next week.

And I got yet another call from a different agent about a job application I had forgotten about. They wanted to talk to me but felt my price was too high. Now my rate of pay for me is always negotiable but not until after an interview. I base a great amount of how much I'm willing to give (or not give) based on the interview. There's tons of literature out there that says a person going into an interview is also checking out the position, the company, the environment etc. Someone wanting to haggle on price even before a face-to-face throws up red, ragged, bloody flags. And besides, nobody else has complained. I've done a lot of research on pricing in the here-and-now. And I also give a number of ranges depending on what kind of position it is (dependent on both technologies and responsibilities) so there is a lot of leeway given up front.

Yeah I was kind of miffed that the first question they ask is "Can you come down on your price?" when they haven't even seen the product yet.

Ah well. Interview tomorrow at yet another oil and gas outfit (which reminds me, gotta do the research), the big interview on Friday. Long weekend next weekend and (with any luck) back to work next Monday.

It's been two months of unemployment. Once in a long while it's boring. Most of the time it's enjoyable. But all of the time, there's no cash coming in.

C'mon lottery ticket....

More Agents Than Jobs?

I'm beginning to wonder if there is actually just a half-dozen or so programming jobs out that and about a score or three of agencies trying to fill them.

It's a pain: each agency will change the description slightly and not tell you what company the position is for. So you don't know if you are applying for the same job three times. Add to that, a lot of places will just trash your resume if it comes from different sources, meaning no chance in aitch-ee-double-hockey-sticks of even getting an interview. So you need to work double time in your job hunt trying to keep this crap organized.

Whatever happened to the days of just marching from building to building with a stack of paper resumes in hand?

Monster, Workopolis et. al. don't help. The agencies use them. Not to mention I saw a print-out of what one of those sites thinks is my resume. Man it gets butchered! Turns out they have a cap of 2000 characters (!) per work-place entry. And I missed that little bit of fine print.

So yeah, the job hunt is annoying. But it's not nearly as bad as working at the last place.

On the other hand, Laroo and myself kind of half-jokingly looked at houses this past weekend. The first was a gorgeous Victorian brick five bedroom currently used as a abed and breakfast. The electric is all up to code, plumbing looks great etc. Apparently it was a used as a nurses residence about 100 years ago. So alot of rooms and very little "living space" which is why they can't sell the place. That and it's $600k. Still I love those old buildings.

The other place we looked at was considerably less, three years old and acres of room. Also in High River. But people like Capa do the commute every day, so that's nothing I can whine (loudly) about.

So yeah, things are good with Laroo still. In the end we decided it's a little soon yet. She needs to fix up her place to get maximum profit from the sale and I need to find an income. Poor baby: the end of the school year is near and she's going nuts, and sick to boot. We had our six-month semi-anniversary this past weekend. I got her flowers and chocolate, she got me cookies and Lego.

It's no wonder I love her madly.

Oh and speaking of Lego, this will be the end of me.

It's Never Easy

Well, just got notice from my landlord that he's ending the lease at the end of August. Which means I have to have a job by then (which was planned) but it means there's no way I can take a tropical holiday this year.

Frig.

A Question of Interviews

I'm unemployed and looking for work. Now because of the job market in Cowtown, this shouldn't be an issue and finding job postings is easy. What I didn't expect was the response I got from agencies.

I'm defining an "agency" here as an entity that finds jobs for people. They send your resume to their clients, the clients interview you and if you're hired, the employer pays the agency a cut of your new salary. I've "interviewed" with about eight of them in the past two weeks.

I'm wondering if the whole agency thing is the way to go. I've only had one job interview that I submitted my application directly. I don't think I'd want that job though, even if they offered it to me. It sounded like a great job, but the two guys who interviewed me had no sense of humour whatsoever. Not that I cracked a lot of jokes, but they were absolutely stone-faced. And they would be my bosses if I was hired. No fun.

Anyways back to the agency thing. I'm getting the impression that these guys get paid by how many names they have, no more. There was one this week where I was actually asked questions pertaining to a specific job. One I had today did the same which actually kind of threw me. The rest, well, it was about fifteen minutes of "here's what we do, how does that sound?" and I was out the door.

So I'm thinking that if I'm going to get a job, it will be without their help.

Besides, as Capa would say, why go through a middleman when it's cheaper for the employer just to get resumes directly? Not to mention I'm a firm believer that if you put your life in someone's hands, chances are they'll drop it in the toilet.

Time is kind of on my side though. Summer is usually not the best time to be looking for work but then again if that's the belief, I'll be the only one looking.

And a summer off sounds nice.

Down to Business

Well, my week off is over. Not that I have found a new job (C'mon Capa, I needs me a job where you work!) but it's time to put the nose to the grindstone. Or at least get my shit together.

I've been avoiding making a list of things I need to do with my time off, but here goes:

Keep the resume updates and check job listings every day.

Organize my contacts list. Right now it's pretty much a stack of napkins.

Clean, tune and buy a new seat for my bike.

Renew my passport. I still have quite a bit of time on it but since the whole process means you need at least 2 full days off, do it now.

Get back to the gym on a two on, one off schedule. I stood on a scale this weekend and was not impressed. When I take a day off, get on the afore-mentioned bike.

Spend at least two hours a day either writing fiction or writing code.

So that's the list. Note that it's more of a "establish a productive routine" than items to check off as they are completed. I know me: slacking is what I enjoy best, but too much means I'll get behind (and grow a large behind) very quickly.

The other things I need to clamp down on is my expenditures: no more impulse buying of things like DVDs, Guitar Hero controllers, books etc. At least not until I finish the lots I have purchased (about 5 DVDs, yes I know "The 4400" Capa and about a half-dozen books). This will mean I can avoid the slack.

thank goodness I went I got Starcraft on Friday. You know about Starcraft 2 right?

Sweeeeet. Bad programmer! Get back to work! Or at least looking for work.

Long Weekend Exceeded

Well it is now Wednesday, which mean I have been unemployed for more than a long weekend. It really hasn't struck me with full force yet. I'm not quite sure when that will happen. There are some financial things to take care of (I got my holiday paid out).

I haven't done much of anything really except for some very light housework and some very heavy laundry. I didn't want to put together a huge list of things to do as I have plenty of time: mostly I'm kind of bored. Right now I'm sipping good coffee (the stuff they had at the office was consistently atrocious) reading books and email and playing with Guitar Hero.

I applied for a couple of jobs yesterday, but purely out of requirement. I haven't seen anything that really piques my interest as of yet beyond "We need code monkey! You code monkey?" but there's time for now. I'm won't be terribly worried until July begins, as summer is a horrible time to look for work.

So yeah, just hanging.

This week is just about decompression anyways. I'll tackle the big questions next week. For now, I'll catch up on my reading, get my bike tuned up, do some songs on "Medium" (gotta get that new guitar) and just chill in the warm spring sunshine.

Gotta love it.

Man of Leisure

My first day of unemployment!

It's been slack so far, accompanied by a slight hang-over. My friends from the old homestead, Pete and Mo, made a surprise visit this weekend. And since nobody had to go to work today we went for a little liquid entertainment. Ugh. I'm not as bad as I thought I would be but still: it's a yogurt and salad day.

One thing that came up (as these things do) is I think I discovered why I am so loathe to do yard work. A like a good big yard, but the thought of all the maintenance fills me with such a feeling of dread. I've never been sure why.

Pete figured out why: it's the same for him. As kids, yardwork was the penance for our childhood transgressions. Mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, trimming the hedges, all were forms of punishment. It's classic behavior modification. So at a very basic level, having a green thumb is equivalent to getting a pink bottom (and my Pop occasional cut a switch).

That's one more life mystery solved by drunken ramblings!

Today is just a day off, the full impact of my unemployment hasn't hit and probably won't until I get my last paycheck and work out finances. According to my estimates I have enough stashed away to get me to mid-July without touching my bankroll (in form of unpaid holiday and overtime). after that I have about four months before my bank account dwindles to zero. So lots of time. Problem now is what to do with it.

This week though is all about decompression.

I Quit! (Declarative, not Imperative)

Yup. For those who don't know (and I think most do) I quit my job last week. Two weeks notice. Four days until I'm unemployed and painting up the "Will Code for Food" sign.

Woooohoooooo!

The reasons (or at least some of them) should be obvious considering my last few posts. But it's all summed up with a simple "Time to Go!". For personal, career and plain selfish reason, it's time to move on after eight years of... well some of it actually has been good. But it's been a while.

In the meantime, I've backed away from Starting Write Now. I'm hoping that it will be a short hiatus. All signs point to "okay" as even the act of putting in my resignation (very professional, not delivered with a pointy thing as some believed I would) has been a relief. I've started thinking about writing again, which I haven't done in months.

So I'll at least have some time off. I actually have a couple of interviews set up (it's amazing how word gets around in this burg) but I'm not in a huge rush to sit my ever-widening ass in a cubicle (actually that reminds me, back to the gym). But there are a few choice places I would not mind blessing with my presence. But it will be summer soon and Laroo has the summers off...

I'm guessing I'll be updating this as well (as I embark in my new career). Of course with every new job there's a whole set of knowledge to cram into the cranium in a very short period of time. I haven't done that in a while, not sue if there's actually any room in there....

So, that's it for now (in more ways than one). Like I said, there will be updates here.

Oh yeah, and I love Laroo. Still. More, even. She's the one who's been keeping me relatively sane(-ish) these past few months. But most of all she reminded me that I'm better than I usually think I am (computer geeks almost universally suffer from some form of self-esteem issues). She actually gave me the courage to quit. When she says everything will be alright, it's believable.

She is my sunshine!

Right, This Thing

As Capa mentioned, it's time for my "quartery update". It say something sardonic but he's pretty much getting it right, there.

First off, 'gratz to Big M and KAJ, who will be Big M and KAR after today: they are (finally) getting married. Thanks for the bachelor party M, I think I dropped about $150 at the casino. No strippers, but I still got taken for a ride...

Speaking of which, I just dropped $1000+ on my car at the dealership. Seems there were a whole bunch of problems that strangely never cropped up when my car was coverd by my warantee which expired in February. Looks like I'll be using Mr. Lube from now on. There's a joke in there somewhere...

On the work front, well I had a couple potential interviews supposedly set up throug some contracting companies but for some reason they aren't returning my calls. Quite disappointing to say the least. But the job search continues as my current one just seems to be getting more stressful as the days go by. I didn't think it was all that possible. Every day for the past couple of weeks I've been updating the resignation letter. My little bro had some good advice though: if you are going to just up and quit, do it at the beginning of summer. Which has the added advantage of Laroo being off for the summer.

Yup, me and Laroo are still going strong. She's such a cutie, especially when she is stressed. Which is all the time actually but her big production is over as of tonight so we're winging away (okay driving) for a weekend in the mountains. I think she'll sleep through it all, whihc is fine, I have alot of books to read. And yes Capa, DVDs to watch: I started on teh 4400, don't ruch me.

Anyways, I have a monkey suit to don: wedding in a few hours.

Okay, Three Things

First, it was officially the first day of Spring! When I ran screaming from the office today (what most people call "going to lunch") I saw the first mini-skirts of the season! While it dos take some time for the eyes to adjust to the pallor the site affords, it's a sure sign the Spring is around the corner!

Second, the whole writing routine is coming together. I finished a rough draft of "When I Became the Boss" and started on "Dad's Hole". Both are children's books for grown-ups: the first relating the tale of when a computer programmer gets promoted and the second a story of how a girl's father dug a hole so deep the whole house fell in.

I've also started "The Flora and Fauna of the Cubicle Plains". It's my humble contribution to help save the environment. My observations have uncovered various birds, such as the Twittering Agile, and the Yellow-Bellied Kwikwyn. There have also been a number of mammals sighted: the Black Berryfondle, the Caffeinated Sloth and of course the majestic Silver-Back Legacy Beaver. I even encountered a strange species of tortoise: the Directionless Steering Tortoise to be precise. I am currently writing up characteristics and common habitats of these creatures and should have some rough drafts available soon.

And of course the reading on writing is going swimmingly. I finished off Stephen King's "On Writing" and have started a couple of the other books on loan to me. Hopefully I'll have those back to their respective owners by the end of April.

Thirdly, I must admit I find myself in the grips of another obsessive-compulsive little phase. It's been quite a while since the last one so this ain't so bad. The object of my obsession this time is 18th Century Naval warfare. In other words, Pirates!

You see about a month back my little brother and room-mate borrowed a copy of "Sid Myers' Pirates!" and started playing on his laptop. So I decided to load my version on my laptop. I think I even managed to get Laroo interested in playing. We'll see on that though.

Then I recalled that there was a MMO based on the player being a pirate or national captain in the 1700's West Indies. Revisiting the site, I found myself quite enamored with Pirates of the Burning Sea. Quite enamored. As far as searching incessantly online for ship and sail designs, pirate lore and even exclaiming "Ahoy!" to those lubbers at work. Arrrrrrrr....

And that in turn had me pricing out a new do-it-yourself home gaming rig.

Add Spore to that and you have yourself a gaming future.

Meanwhile, I've stumbled upon two really good time wasters. Spamalot! is pretty much your basic catapult game, but add the Monty Python and the Holy Grail theme's and graphics and well, I'm hooked. The other way I've been wasting time is this little gem which is really hand drawn. Amazing what you can do with no artistic ability but an insidious mind....

And that's three things! Now I must go fling chickens at the French. Arrr........

Two Hour Window

As some of you know, I took last week off of work. Going into work today was met with a deep-rooted, gnawing dread that was completely justified as it turns out...

And as all of you, when I take a week off I tend to set some lofty goals for myself which I never seem to be able to accomplish. Notice I didn't do that this time around. The only goal I set for myself was to think a bit about life the universe and everything.

A good portion of the week was spent with Laroo, and that's always good. I managed to meet some of her family and made a good impression, some of her co-workers (and likewise) and actually helped her in her dramatic endeavors. That didn't turn out so well but I blame false advertising on that. Anyone want ten walkie-talkies cheap?

There were a couple of job interviews. Well maybe "interview" is too strong a word. One was a "getting to know you" session with a recruiter (which went well) and one was a recruitment for an RRSP pyramid scheme (which went well considering the pretenses I was offered and there was not a lot of blood shed afterwards).

Add a "boys night out" with the bros as we re-lived our violent childhood by playing board games; accusing each other at cheating, rules lawyering and all around poor sportsmanship, more time with Laroo, another interview for the writing group and various trips to the airport, it sums up to a busy week.

But I did engage the brain. What I engaged it with was some thought on routine.

I am very much a routine kinda guy. But getting into that routine takes some effort as I am also a lazy kinda guy. Two things I need to get into a routine: working out and writing. And they both take a considerable amount a of time given my schedule.

Consider: on a good day I get home at 5:30 PM (today, not so much....). After whatever I call dinner and the cleanup it's about 6:30 or 7. Which leaves me about 2 hours of energy left before I spend the night listening the elephant stomping around upstairs (not as much metaphor there as you think or as I wish).

The gym is two hours fifteen minutes from out the door to back at home.

The goal is to write 1000 words a day. Which takes me about two hours. And also scares the hell out of me.

So I can't do both. Not every day (maybe on weekends, but from now until April 1, all my weeks are belong to Laroo).

So I'm going for either/or. Either I go to the gym and do a full work out or I write or do writing-related stuff for two hours. Yes, I will include this blog (practice) and the writing blog (more practice). I'm also including reading about writing as that's educational and if it's all like Stephen King's "On Writing" it's also a treat.

How many words is that? 511... Okay back to Mr. King! 517...

V-Day

First off, Happy V-day to everyone! And a very special V-Day (although we will be celebrating on the weekend) to my Laroo who said some very nice things about me and who needs a hug. So I drove through a blizzard (okay a lot of ice fog) lousy roads and the Driver Stupidex at "Danger! Danger Will Robinson!" levels to give her lots of them.

I'm such a good boyfriend.

One of the things we have in common is the whole competency thing. And the very low threshold for allowing people to do a lousy job. With the big production she's doing at work, it's getting her down, so all of you go wish her well just because she makes me happy. Happier. Okay, less full of hate. And that's a miracle in itself!

Love ya, Laroo!

So in job hunting news: I've had some time for the Hate-o-meter to settle down and stabilize a bit. It's still pretty high up on that there chart and the urge to quit (I just backspaced over "urge to kill") is still daily.

But I'm not going to just up and quit without having a new job. I've spent seven years getting this cash together and dammit I'm going to enjoy it!

So I've been putting the booster on the job hunt engine. I've applied for a couple jobs at specific places I want to work and a couple generic resumes at contracting companies.

And I got a request to apply for a position in the ol' email-o-tron today. Looks interesting actually: small company looking to grow. Been there done that, will ing to take the salary they are quoting to do it again (woohoo!).

Now go get sick on chocolate, you crazy kids

Not Quite As, But Still, Angry

Alright so the $500+ dollars was the gub'mint's share of my stock option cash in. Sheesh. It means I'll stop paying into CPP (but will never see a thin dime, I'm quite sure) and EI (likewise). Thanks again to Capa for setting me straight. I didn't get a chance to look into things today.

As for work, well, I was training a room full of individuals who will be removing the six-ton albatross from around my neck, so that was okay. But after that was over it was the usual round of me going to various people and asking "Did you actually think about this? Really? Are you sure you thought about this?"

But the plan still holds: new job by the 28th or I'm out by March 15th. A gotta novel or two to write.

And of course on the home front, things get better and better. The L-word was exchanged between myself and Laroo (and I initiated it! yay me!). Yes, that L-word. No not the one on TV. No the other one. L-O-V... never mind.

This is so cool. It's kinda funny too as she is a bit bewildered by the whole thing (and I am too, just not as much). It's kinda cute.

So anyways, just that quick update. Now, I have to surf the various job sites and maybe even (gasp) get some concepts down for writing (had a great idea for a setting for a sci-fi series: TV, movie, game comics or novels? Who knows? When you get lucky, you get all five.)

L-O-V-E. There. I blogged it. Now the whole world knows! Virtually I mean. You know.

So Much for That

What a day. The feeling of not-rage has cumulated into the state of being known as "Full of Hate".

Actually Capa contributed to that in a way by forwarding an email that would have set me off on a murderous rampage. Okay, at least assault and battery with a blunt instrument (a 5' 2" lead administrator) against a pair of application managers (who seemed to epitomize at least two of the deadly sins each, so they would have had it coming). If he hadn't I would be posting this from holding cell. You know what I mean.

What today did was high-light the fact that whenever I need someone to get something done, I have to fight for even the simplest request tooth and nail. Meanwhile when someone asks me to do something, I generally do it (although I have to strain some of them through the Idiocracy filter).

So a decision has been made. The entire office (or at least my department) are moving to a new location in March. Personally, that means that my half-hour walk to work now becomes a sixty minutes drive to work. Where there isn't enough parking. And a cubicle that is about four feet wide. And that's one of the big ones.

It's just not worth it.

If it so happens (and it's a good possibility) that I don't have a new job by then I will give two weeks notice. After that my time would be dedicated to a job search and my writing. I have enough cash to get me through three months without dipping into credit. Not my favorite as it's taken me quite a while to get that sum together, but it's money or health. And you can't put a good price on health.

And on top of that today, the roads are a mess. So the chances of seeing the wonderful Laroo for a hug and snuggle session is fading quickly.

Update: And on top of all that I just noticed my last paycheck is about $500 short. This may move up the schedule.

Sunny Walks

For the first time in months, the walk home was actually not done in complete darkness. Granted the sun had slunk behind the horizon (probably to get out of the wind and cold). You have no idea how much of big deal that is. Or maybe you do: most of my readership lives within ten miles of me.

An odd thing happened to me yesterday: I was at work and it actually didn't suck. This may have had something to do with Capa loaning me his DS with Elite Beat agents for a while, but I doubt it (although getting a DS has moved up in the "gotta have" list).

No, what happened was I had a productive day. At least in relation to all the other days since September where I felt like I was fighting a zombie army of clueless wonders. Today was a bit more "normal" although that probably had something to do with software we developed four or five years ago not working with Vista. So now the zombie horde is wondering how we can rewrite 120 applications in two weeks.

I'm still applying for jobs elsewhere: this is probably just my winter blues beginning to fade.

Laroo rocks. For those just tuning in, she is my significant other. Her schedule over the next two months is going to be insane (check out her blog for reasons why) and we probably won't see each other as much as we want but all that means is that when we do get together, it's very special. Not short-bus special. Limo special.

Still, I'm tempted to drag her from her place of work, pick up her dog on the way to the airport and wing our way to a tropical location where bathing suits aren't required (Laroo doesn't own one. I see that as an opportunity).

Get this: we bought a Lego dragon and built it together. She actually hung it up in her house. How cool is that?

Week Off! Then Why am I So Stressed?

Yep, all true: I have this week off. As we speak I am typing wearing only underwear and headphones. Actually, I tell a lie, I'm only wearing one of those two items :)

Anyways this is supposed to be a productive week. Supposedly. All the little things I've neglected over the past two months due to surgery, moves, Christmas, laziness and just plain not-having-time I'm trying to resolve this week. So here's a list of things I'm (supposed) to be doing:

Finish filling out all of those pesky change-of-address forms

Get back to the gym routine by going every day this week

Update Monster.ca with the new resume and apply for at least three jobs

Re-organize my stuff as I know I can (barely) fit everything in

Read up on the whole writing thing by actually reading the books Capa and others have loaned me

Update my various blogs, video blogs and writing columns (and thus this post)

Dentist, Eye Doctor and various other health-related appointments

Get my new laptop (yes I got a new laptop) ready for both work (programming software) and writing (finding a free copy of Word if I can)

Laundry and a haircut. But not at the same time

And other things as they come up

What a boring vacation, eh? Ah well, it's been petty good so far (if busy) and I'm actually done many of the above. The gym thing hurts though.

Of course, there's Laura (aka Laroo) who has some very nice things to say about me. I'm blushing, babe!

It's been six weeks (not quite nine and half) and frankly I'm still smitten. Even after taking care of her during a week of a very, very nasty cold.

I could list all the little things like her laugh, her smile, her smarts, her love of all things Shakespeare but the big thing, the huge thing that has me hooked is pretty basic. She knows, I'm a geek, she accepts I'm a geek and she enjoys that I'm a geek. She may not understand the specifics of my geekhood, but she really gets that I enjoy them. No judgment, no rancour just acceptance. Me for me and all that. That, as those who know me, is a huge deal.

And speaking of smitten, everyone say "gratz" to KAJ and Big M who are tying the knot in March. About bloody time you two. I like these guys, I think they are registered at Best Buy. My kinda peoples. I promise to make a huge jack-ass of myself at the reception.

Crime and Punishment

Interesting times continues....

I get into the elevator this morning and find a notice on the inside: there was a break-in in the downstairs, underground, "secure" parking lot and everybody should check their vehicles. So naturally I check.

Smashed passenger side window, nothing taken out of my car. As I toured around the lot to see how many got busted windows, I noticed the interior door leading to stairwell is off its hinges. And I realize the lock and the hinges are on the same side of the door. Brilliant.

So at lunch I go down to the downtown police station, where they tell me I need to bring the vehicle in to be inspected, and that I should do that at another location. I beg off work early, go half way across town to another station, and they tell me since it's a break and enter, I need to call the police (because calling the police from a police station is just crazy talk). So I get home and call the police at about three in the afternoon. They finally arrived around 8, took my statement, looked very seriously at my car. They're still outside.

So it looks like I'm out about $400 because some rummy (or similar) needed another bottle (or similar).

Not a good way to start the week.

I'll save the update on Laroo (my significant other) later, when I'm feeling more mushy and not filled with the urge to don a mask and take justice into my own hands.

Moby's Year in Review

Again, sorry for the long period between posts. The move, Christmas, new girlfriend and general winter wonderland crap means I have a lot to blog about but no time to write. So I'm writing this at work.

As the year end approaches, it's time to sit back, relax, fall asleep and snort yourself awake. After that it's time to look back over the past year and see what was good, what was bad, and what was, well life.

Having read over the last year's blogs, I have come to one conclusion: I am bored a lot. Maybe it's adult onset ADD, maybe it's being thirty something and single but it seems to happen quite a bit. For those of you who continue reading this blog, my profound thanks: your life must be nearly as dull as mine.

However there have been some highlights. The entire first half of 2006 seemed a waste. It wasn't until July that things got interesting. The trip to Toronto, while not garnering me a new job, allowed me to acquaint myself with the cool side of my family. And experience lap-dances. And cottages. All good one and all (did I mention lap-dances?).

Fall saw a return to the groove (or more appropriately the rut). Work frustrations multiplied, friends stood divided, things were added and subtracted and because I want to over-extend this theme, I tried to get to the square root of all things.

December though: if I whinged about being bored for eleven months, December more than made up for it. The move in with my little brother was finally executed (and considering what's been happening over the past weeks, my brother may be executed as well), Christmas meant the yearly frenzy of shopping, hatred of all things festive and spending too much time traveling. And I met Laura. And fell hard for Laura.

The end of the year brought this very unexpected surprise into my life. I have never yet met a woman I felt so completely at ease with. How many women out there are smart, funny, fun, sexy, educated and think I am too! Seriously, three, maybe six? At most?

So yeah, falling hard and fast. Moby is smitten. She knitted me mittens. That's unprecedented. There's a lot of things that have been happening between us that have no precedent for either of us. We're both pretty relationship challenged, so it's like we're sixteen (and I am not looking forward to my next cell-phone bill).

Could be happier only if I won the lottery.

So As I move into 2007 with a new place (and if nothing else my brother will inspire some writing, a murder mystery perhaps?), a great new girlfriend (which sounds odd as she is older than me) a possible new job and a new laptop (coming soon) 2007 will prove to be less boring than 2006. I am a firm believer that "interesting times" is a curse, this year it may not be.

Happy New Year. Maybe for real.

Moving

The move to my brother's place is on Saturday. I've taken Thursday and Friday off to pack. I have alot of crap.

Discounting the huge volume of Lego, I still have alot of crap. Going through just my CDs, DVDs and software took up about 6 hours to get sorted and packed up.

Just finished cleaning out the storage room. Oh, the humanity!

Next up: finish laundry, drop off dry-cleaning and clothing donations, buy more garbage bags, disconnect the modem and cable box, clean up for a date tonight (big smile on my face, and that's the only one I cracked today) drop off and set up cable box and modem at the new place then go on a date.

Tomorrow: pack up clothing and kitchen, finish off living room, collapse in heap. Then the actual move Saturday. Oh and somewhere in there I have to finish my Christmas shopping.

I seem to recall last time I moved I swore to hire movers.

'Tis The Season

To go postal, falalalala-lalalala.....

Oi. Christmas shopping. The time of year where any modicum of intelligence flees from people of all races, creeds and colours. You know what I mean, the drivers are focused on getting to the mall, the shoppers are blind to traffic because they need to find that perfect present, and the malls. My gods, the malls.

This year I tried to organize a rota with my brothers: we would each get a sub-set of the super-sized family, but presents only for those folks and then put all our names on the card. Simple, effective and time saving.

Didn't work: one doesn't want to get gifts for some parts of the extended family, another hates Christmas shopping so much he refuses to leave the house. Meanwhile, it was me who had to go emergency shopping, go to everyone in Calgary who am I related to and pick up their presents and deliver them to the middle of bald ass prairie to give to my mother. She of course traded off her gifts which I intend to distribute to the family in Calgary by the "Come and pick it up your own damn self!" methodology.

Bah. Humbug.

Add to that I'm trying to actually get packed to move on Saturday. The end result would be the aforementioned "postal" thing.

Except...

Her name is Laura and it is kind of scary how well we get along how compatible we seem to be and how much we are into each other so very, very quickly. We've only been on two dates, but there's chemistry, sparks, philosophy and little family health thrown in to boot.

I won't go into the sappy stuff, but it's good sappy stuff. She loves Shakespeare. Those that know me know what kind of effect that has to have. I even went so far as to send her links to the writing site (and there's a new interview here as well). And to here. But I had second thoughts on this one: there's alot of things here that don't paint me in the best light, so I asked her to hold off. And, amazingly, I do trust her to hold off: she's an honest gal, right up front.

So, right now I have to update the resume, finish the bloody Christmas shopping, pack away some stuff so I can talk to Laura again.

Yup, Moby is genuinely smitten. Damn if it isn't a Christmas miracle.

Momentary Pause

Hey All!

As predicted, last weekend's bored state was soon followed by a hellacious week at work. But today may be somewhat of a banner day.

I had an off site meeting that may provide great opportunities for the future (no not Amway).

I had another off site meeting, which was an actual date that may also provide great opportunities for the future (no not a Russian Bride).

Tomorrow I have to start packing, do emergency Christmas shopping and go into work to fix yet another emergency caused by someone else's stupidity. So the "May you live in interesting times" curse continues on.

But tonight, well tonight went ... well.

Wow, I'm Bored

That actually hasn't in quite a while. Well, I was bored out of my skull the first five days after surgery, but that was induced because I was blind. Now I'm actually bored.

This is never good.

It always seems that after a boring day, the following weeks are a constant barrage where I wish I was bored.

That is all. See? Boring.

Popeye

So a week after the surgery, I have 20/20 vision in one eye and an inflammation in the other. So it was 50% successful. I know I shouldn't be worried but Murphy tends to make me his bitch. In the meantime I can't drive, which would suck if it wasn't -40 outside.

The surgery itself took only about twenty minutes here's what happened:

They sit you down in a dentist chair and make you look at this light on a machine above you. Then they dump about a gallon of anesthetic onto the eyeball which makes it both insensitive and unable to move (which is important).

Then they clamp your eyelid open, a la A Clockwork Orange. The patient then makes a joke about the movie and the medical staff groans and informs the patient that everyone says that.

This makes it very freaky when the doctor takes what is actually a very tiny spatula but looks friggin huge and you can see it scrape the layer of goo off your eyeball. You can also feel pressure on the eye which makes you little sick to your stomach.

After that they wash off the eyeball with water or something. Now it's time for zapping. And I do mean zapping. The laser makes a helluva noise: I actually jumped quite a bit when it first went off. It's not a constant laser, rather it pulses away a micro-millimeter of eyeball at a time.

Which brings us to the gross part. When the laser is zapping, you can smell roasted eyeball. What's worse is that you can feel sizzling little bits of eyeball landing on your forehead and cheeks.

I'll leave you with that image. Time for a fried egg sandwich.

Three Hours to Go

This may be my last message if things don't go well. Laser eye surgery in three hours.

I wasn't nervous yesterday, but I am a bit now. After all, you keep hearing that you aren't supposed to point laser pointers and similar devices into peoples eyes and here I go paying a large amount of money to have someone do that for me.

The real worry is the post-op stuff. It sounds like I need to get at least four different kinds of eye drops, one of which I need to use every fifteen minutes for the first week. Which will suck.

I am glad I am getting this done though. Barring the week of "discomfort" (which can be anything from dry, itchy sensations to searing, blinding pain) I think it's well worth it.

I've been wearing glasses since I was twelve, which means after twenty-six years, I'll be free. After getting my first pair, my father said, and I quote "If you break those I'll kill you". And ever since then spectacles have been an annoying part of my life.

Socially, well, nowadays there's a certain acceptance of specs, but in the seventies and eighties, if you wore glasses you were a geek/nerd/spaz/loser. Okay I am a geek but now I wonder if wearing glasses was a major contributor to that. When you have specs, physical activity of any kind is petty restricted so the only real alternative is pursuing more cerebral activities.

And glasses just ain't sexy.

About ten years ago I started wearing contacts, which I fully admit is a vanity thing. You can actually do something more physical with them on (skiing etc) but the level of maintenance required is considerable. And of course once in a while they decide to jump out of your head, which causes all kinds of trouble.

So after all is said and done (and dropped) the cost of the procedure is what I spend in about five years, and the folks at the clinic said at my current rate I won't need glasses again for about twenty years. Add to that miracle of waking up every morning and not having to fumble around for specs or go through the ritual of trying to get the damn things in. Add to that, I can do stuff, travel and generally walk around without having to worry about breakage, loss or the pure social outcast aspect and it's well worth it.

I know, I'm trying to convince myself here. But those who have been saddled with required eye-ware know what I am talking about. Those with 20/20 vision have no idea, no idea how much having to wear these things affects you.

So I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe.

The Blogger Has No Clothes

That would be because I am on vacation. Well, not "vacation" so much as days off. Surgery is on Wednesday but Monday and Tuesday is supposed to be time to sit back, relax and stew in my own juices.

Not turning out that way though.

So as some of you know, my little brother is in a bit of a pickle. After moving to Calgary from Toronto in August, he broke up with said girlfriend recently, and now has a lease on a very nice apartment which he can no longer afford. So I'm moving in to help him out. I won't be saving any money (actually I will be paying more money for rent and parking) but it's an improvement: en suite dishwasher and laundry, underground parking, hardwood floors etc.

But it means I have to leave the fortress of solitude. Which is okay because it's been getting boring. I like the neighborhood (most times) as it's one of those ones with big trees, quiet (most times) and fairly close to alot of things. But it isn't actually close (within walking distance) to anything really.

The new place is close to the famous/notorious "Red Mile" which means it will be noisy. So I can either stand on the balcony yelling at the world to shut the hell up or go out and do my share to contribute noise pollution. I think I choose the latter.

And for a dirty old man like myself, the girl-watching is much better.

In other news, last week I got notification via email that a package was on it's way. Now this isn't unusually, but I didn't remember ordering that I hadn't already received. So I was intrigued. And worried that I broke my drink-and-surf policy (don't do it) again.

Got it on Saturday. It was video tape and some information on making smart stock purchase decisions in the market of the twenty-first century. With convenient recommendations.

Not that exciting.

So with surgery, the move and of course International Spend Like Crazy days (ie Christmas) coming up, I'm going to be busy and broke. Add to that I'm actually getting some response on Lavalife this time around, 2006 is going to end like most of my projects at work: not enough time, resources or requirements but incredible pressure to get it done by a specific date.

That's Life outside the Fortress of Solitude.

I'm up, I'm up...

Look at the time stamp. I hate it when this happens.

I'm not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination but about once a week I wind up waking up at 5 AM. Now some would say this is a perfect opportunity to do something constructive, and I would agree. Except I'm a bloody wreck when this happens. For example, it took me five minute to write the last sentence.

So I put on a pot of coffee, idly surf, smoke too much, maybe watch an episode of something on DVD, that sort of thing. It really is me time because frankly I wouldn't want to subject anyone to the great grumpiness that is Moby at 5:30 AM.

And of course I always feel the guilt. I should be doing something constructive. Like getting my word count up for NaNoWriMo. Or going to the gym. Or doing the dishes. Or go into work. Okay, maybe not that.

This early morning wakefulness comes at a price. By the time three in the afternoon rolls around I'm a fricken' zombie, including the impulse to bite someone's head off. And the evening is shot.

So I'm writing a post. And drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. Which I'm almost out of.

There ya go, I'll go buy smokes. I'll get something accomplished at least.

Edit: Almost forgot, I started up my profile on Lavalife again. Not this morning, but on the weekend.

Of course it's just another way for me to avoid word count blues, but what the heck. The only problem is that when you factor in:

Age, mine

Age, hers

The fact I don't want to have kids

The fact that I'm reluctant to date someone with kids

It turns out that the number of matches I get is less than a dozen. So it won't be that much of a distraction.

Russian brides anyone?

Hey I Update!

But now it seems only weekly. Ah well, my excuse is that nothing of interest (even to me) has been happening as of late. If that sounds a tad on the dull side you're right.

So for the update let's start off with work. I know I said I wouldn't kvetch about work here but I gotta make exceptions once in a while. So the new team is very quickly turning into me and nine managers. Yes that's right. Me and nine managers. I have two students working for me but at the rate we're going I'm worried that neither of them will accept an offer (in fact I think one of them needs to go back to school). Granted we have someone new starting next week, but that means I will have less time as I have to train them up. It'll be six weeks before they can be left to their own devices.

Argh.

Friday night was rather intriguing. Me, the two students and most of the nine managers went to shoot pool after work. At the table beside us was half of the (almost all female) Human Resources department. They were out celebrating the occasion of one of their comrade's divorce papers being final. So by six o'clock they were totally wasted. I, of course, joined them in the festivities. The geeks faded by seven, of course. Now the divorce is very, very cute. Her friends are very, very attractive as well. Especially the one who was introduced as being a former pole-dance instructor. And I could believe it. Wishful thinking or no.

The decision was (finally) made to head out. To what is supposedly a cowboy bar. Now, whenever I go to a cowboy bar there is an inevitable scuffle. Alcohol goes in my mouth, and fuels that little sardonic monster in me. He can get vocal.

Fortunately this time there were no faux cowpokes in the vicinity, so I spent a good part of the evening drinking, dancing with the ladies and throwing ice-cubes into their cleavage. Which they insisted I do so they could suck them out of each other's bras. How come when I was twenty-five this was considered unacceptable behavior? Ah well, better late than never.

As the night wound down (about 8 hours after we started) I found myself relegated to guardian of the purses. So soon after I made my departure (ensuring everyone had their purse of course).

The hangover was horrendous.

But overall it was a good night despite the fact that I felt really, really old. But at least I felt like a dirty old man.

That's an improvement.

I gotta look up someone for some pole-dancing lessons next week.

The Power of Words

In this modern day and age, words can hold more power than ever. The power to educate! The power to illuminate! The power to hilarity-ate!!!

But when the power goes it, you can't write suckers down.

Yep, national Novel Writing Month is off to an auspicious start. After actually not going to the comic store for my regular Wednesday fix to set aside time to write, the power goes out in my building.

Now I hear you say "But Moby, you could do it the old fashioned way!".

Not in the dark.

Of course the kicker is that the power went out last night making me late for work. Well, granted I wasn't terribly upset considering the past couple weeks but I had a 9 AM meeting with my boss.


In other news, the Russian Experiment is finito (that's Russian right?) After a deluge of emails I shut 'er down. I've concluded that I'm not internationally undateable but something in the tradition of emergent behavior came about.

Am I looking for a wife as opposed to girlfriend (although that doesn't do the meme justice. Firstly, I realize that I don't see a wife as desirable. Not that I don't want to get married, hell's donkeys, if I find the right woman I'll get down on the knee, say the cheesy question, wear the monkey suit etc. But that's not the goal.

As I've said before, best friend with benefits (and who feels the same about me) is what I seek. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Regardless, Odessa is still a nice place to vacation, and with my stock option now actually worth money....

For more on the Russian Experiment and various other musings, check out my video blog. I know it's MySpace, but it's free space as well.

The Russian Experiment

So a bit over a month back I got drunk. While this event is not remarkable in any way, I did break the "do not drink and surf" policy.

Apparently, I signed up for a Russian Mail Order Bride Site. Quiet, lemme explain.

Having totally forgotten about it, I got an email saying I had received a message from one of these women. Now when I signed up, I didn't put any kind of personal information whatsoever. It was just a username (not dykmoby).

I had the seed (okay, maybe seed is too pure a word) of an idea. I filled out my profile using one of my old profiles back in the humiliation-on-the-internet days (dating sites). No pictures though. I would see if I was internationally undateable.

So over the next week I got about a dozen or so emails (5 in one day) from ladies from the former Soviet Union. Thus stage 1 was complete: I don't come off that bad.

Stage 2: Post A Picture. Not the worst, but not the best either. I waited to see the response. After one week, one email. I concluded that I was indeed internationally undateable.

Then last weekend came around.

20 on Saturday.

25 on Sunday.

41 on Monday.

When I finally pulled the plug tonight, I had over 140 emails.

Now I felt guilty. In all likelyhood, all these women just spammed potential Western Husbands just to improve the odds. Add to that, there was a certain desperation to some of emails I read (cost $3 an email, but my curiosity got the better of me). Kinda sad.

It did give me an idea for book though. You see the site offers these "tours" where you go to a couple of major centers and have "socials" with the women. Apparently the men are outnumbered about 10 to 1.

That would be an amazing story. Fiction or non-fiction (or even a documentary). What drives the men to seek mates half-way across the world and propose after meeting them in what is essentially a glorified cocktail-party? What are they looking for that they can't find at home?

And there's the women of course. I get that many of them have never been married (the site is pretty explicit about that) but why seek mates, who don't speak a word of Russian or Ukrainian? Hostile conditions? Are Russian men weenies?

Ad of course there's the business of setting this up. Who do they market to? Is it profitable? Is this a cynical enterprise that preys on lonely men and women for outrageous profit? Is it still doing good works despite the money involved?

Maybe I'll call it The Road to Odessa.

So anyways, that's the latest social experiment. Up Next: Going to a Halloween party in tights at work. Career Limiting Move? Definitely a social limiting move...

My Space

Erg. Okay I set up a profile on MySpace a while back. Yeah I know, "trendy". Walp, I have a video blog there. Or I'll keep recording videos cuz I bought this stupid webcam on a lark and need to justify it.

And I'm still sick! What the hell? I've never had a cold longer than a week and this makes it two weeks! This suck (and blows).

There's a joke about kleenex consumption in there, feel free.

So on Thursday, coffee with the little brothers turned out to be drinks with the brothers which means I broke a Skype test with Capa. Apparently he is also sick so I hope he doesn't have what I have. Sorry twice dude.

Work sucks, but I got an email from one of my (many) former managers which looks promising.

What else? Oh yeah, looks like there may be a weekend in Vegas this November. The guys I would be going with are hard-core poker players (although I'm sure they'll get reamed in Vegas) I'll just give 'em 100 bucks each to get it over with and go see Penn & Teller.

Also have my evaluation for frickin' laser eye surgery this week. Looking forward to after I get zapped, but the actual procedure has me a bit paranoid.

For now, I'm cleaning the closets (gah) overdosing on Vitamin C and avoiding buying games and movies.

Quicky Update

Not moving or at least it's on hold for a while. Things need to be "worked out". But that also means the weeks I took off in November can be entirely dedicated to writing.

That and drinking with Capa.

And I can't shake this damn cold. Dammit.

h and since Battlefield 1242 has spyware of a sort plus in-game ads, I ain't getting it. At least not until it drops to the bargain-bin prices.

Not much else to report. It snowed. Soon there will be skiing.

Select * From ToDoList

0 records returned.

Sorry, DB geek humor.

Actually it's kind of odd. After a 12 hour nap last night (still trying to shake this cold) I find myself with a dearth of chores to do this weekend. It's quite odd as I can't remember a weekend in the past three months where I wasn't constantly running around. The only thing I need to do is get a new bolt for my bike seat.

That breaking was a very, very painful experience. I won't go into details, except to say I suddenly had "Moon River" going through my head.

So after I pick that up and chow down, looks like I'm free and clear for doing some writing (I have a short based on the Tapes incident that I'm half way through).

On the other had, a part of me is waiting for another shoe to drop. Ah well, enjoy it while it lasts.

Cure Worse Than Disease

Yep still sick. My sleep patterns, not always the best when I'm well, are terribly disturbed, thus the 5 AM posting. I'll be asleep in my cubicle by noon. Which is only 3 hours earlier than normal, but still.

I've been using Trend's Pc-cillan for a couple of years now as my firewall/anti-virus software. But a couple of days ago it was removed from my hard-drive.

They had released a new version when I renewed my license last week. 2007 was rich in features (more in terms of advisories, email spam tools etc) but I'm thinking it was still pretty much beta. The mail checker took so long to initialize my connection to my mail server would time out. The ability to customize firewall settings was difficult to find (and obscure to use). Now this would have been survivable if it didn't actually screw up the TCIP stack every fifteen minutes to two hours, forcing me to reboot. Granted I don't have anything to play online at the moment, but still.

That was the last straw (and a big one at that). Last year they produced an update that would go into an infinite loop and max out your CPU. I had to re-install windows. Yet I still gave them the benefit of the doubt. Not this time. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me eleven times shame on me.

I gotta go swallow a bottle of vitamin C.

Snuffle Shuffle

Gah. The cold I have been fighting for a week was victorious yesterday. Time to get my pharma on. No other news to report, I just wanted to bitch about that.

Oh, wait, one thing to report.

Seems my little brother's live-in girlfriend will soon be his live-in ex-girlfriend and just his ex by the end of October. He asked me if I would be willing to move in with him as he still has 10 months on his 12 month lease and needs a room mate.

Despite the fact that I am a guy who needs his fortress of solitude, the offer does appeal to me.

It's a great apartment

It's in a great location with plenty of social options within walking distance and walking distance to work.

It's an opportunity to do a major purge of all the junk I've accumulated over the past few years here

my current building is spiralling down fast in terms of quality and location

Hey, he's my little brother

He is also working on the possibility of renting out to some students, but he's not sure if he wants to go that route. One major downside is that I would have to pack and move during NaNoWriMo. Not good.

Update: Confirmed, I'm moving in November. Looks like I will need to take a week off to move (and hopefully write).

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

Well, it did. This is what happens when I wake up at 5:30 AM and can't get back sleep.

So after yesterday's, well, dramatic post I gave some things more thought. I came to the conclusion, while my friends and family are quite helpful, they are still friends and family which means things to get ... sugar coated. Can't blame them at all with that: they still have to deal with me, which is awkward to start without being brutally honest.

So where does a guy get an honest opinion?

Then while watching Battlestar Galactica (I know, I know, shut up) there was the episode where Apollo is "seeing" an escort. It then struck me. Hire an escort! No, not for sex (that's just something I am never going to do, it means I lose) but to go out on a "simulated date" of sorts, getting advice from a pro. Of course, I thought I would have to make it very clear that the only financial transaction was going to be for her time only. All clothes would remain on respective bodies at all times.

This is scientific research after all.

Naturally, I hit the Intertoobes and looked up the local talent. For pure looks, I wasn't terribly impressed. Then I saw some of the rates.

Lemme tell ya, if anyone says that dating someone is just as, if not more, expensive as hiring out a pro, I'm gonna laugh.

So much for that idea.

Beauty and the Beast

I had fully intended to go out for Indian food and then get total shit-faced with my brother tonight, but since I ate at Taco Bell yesterday for lunch, I experienced the shit without the face all day today. I never seem to learn...

So I'm blogging while waiting for the download of the Battlefield 2142 demo to finish.

Two events of note this week, relating to women and my association (or lack thereof) with women. Yeah I know, let the poor horse rest in peace but you know, I'm delirious from salsa poisoning.

So the first thing is a comment I read or heard or saw or something this past while. I can't remember the exact words, but it went something like: when a man reaches a certain age, he begins to see all women as beautiful.

I think that's happening to me.

Now I kind of pride myself on not being the kind of guy who bases his opinion of women solely on their looks. Directly opposed to that though is the fact that I am a very, very visual person. Not uncommon for guys, but just the same.

When guys are younger they assess a woman's looks based on the whole package: if there is a "flaw" of some kind, then their entire opinion of her looks goes down. Sort of like making a mistake on a written French exam. Remember those? You start at 100% and lost grades for you mistakes. And there was at least 4707% worth of possible errors per exam.

Now many guys before a certain age - I think I can say not the majority, but certainly a significant minority - are looking for that perfect look, and so any feature that does not match the template destroys the entire image. Or rather, destroys the entire fantasy of the image. For the rest, the situation is almost the same, but with just a higher tolerance level. I've been attracted to the unconventional beauties, but will fully admit to have done the whole French exam methodology.

Somewhere in recent history that completely reversed. Now I find when I'm looking at women, I can pick out those very attractive features and qualities which would be completely ignored by those younger than myself (get off my lawn!) and admire them in and of themselves. A graceful neck, a twinkle in the eye, the way she holds herself, a killer smile and many, many others too numerous to name here.

A part of me wonders though if that change prompts the whole mid-life crisis in guys. You notice all these beautiful women (most of whom you previously wouldn't give a second glance) around. Where the hell did they come from? Well, like I tell women (with no prompting) who think they can't meet a nice guy: you meet them every day! You;re just not attracted to them. So our balding 40-ish male realizes that he missed all this. And is probably not capable of getting their attention if he was single.

Well I am single which brings me to my next little anecdote.

I was sitting in a coffee shop at lunch the other day, reading my book, watching the people go by (and pondering the above) when I saw someone who, although not a conventional beauty, took my breath away. My instant thought was "Wow, I would love to introduce myself to her!".

Then I heard another voice. Not the usual racket going on from my personal Greek Chorus (see "My Name is Legion"). But a new voice. One that whispered from a dark corner.


"She would never talk to you."
"Who the hell is that?" The rest of the voices gave a silent shrug "No seriously, who said that?"
"Me," I could hear the malicious sneer in that one syllable.
"How the hell would you know," all on the defensive, "you've never been here before."
A laugh that sounded like dust being cleared from an old copper pipe made it's way from a dark corner, " Oh, but I have my friend. I've been with you... quite some time."
"Alright," I decided to play along, not because I thought this voice had no power, but because I knew this voice had a power I couldn't yet perceive, "Why do you think she wouldn't want to talk to me?"
That laugh again, except it was the bark of a clog being cleared, "Well, because it's you."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"You. Women can tell when men lack confidence, and you, well, we both know your history don't we?" I could hear thin lips being pulled back over needle-like teeth.
"So you're saying women won't talk to me because I lack confidence?"
"Obviously."
"It was you wasn't it?"
"Why whatever do you mean?" that was delivered with the purr of an old and mangy mouser seeing the tail of a small rodent disappear behind a corner.
"I lack confidence, true. But it seems that comes into play after I think I'd like to talk to a girl. And actually decide to." The realization dawned quite suddenly, "You have been with me for a while."
Silence from that corner. The quiet before the pounce or the escape, I wasn't sure.
"The girl from band camp, Leah. The girl at the bus stop having problems with her luggage. Heather, Tracy, Linda, Jacee, Monique, Lee, Alexandra, all of them! Every time I thought I should take a chance but backed down! Every time it was time to take a small risk for the potential of a great reward it was you whispering in my ear, telling me I wasn't good enough. Or handsome enough or fun enough!" I could feel the heat rising behind my ears.
"I wasn't good enough because I thought I wasn't good enough. And I thought I wasn't good enough because of you!"
Silence. Then, "Of course, who am I if not yourself, and who if not me?"
I pondered that. And came to one inescapable conclusion. Some voices must be silenced.

Okay I am being over-dramatic here. But I gotta work on my dialogue skills for NaNoWriMo.

I am working to quiet that mother-fucker. And so far, even after a couple of days, it's working.

I'm saying "Hi, howya doin'?" to perfect strangers on the street. And getting good responses. Today I very cute blonde did a "Hi" back. I caught her checking me out in the reflection in the glass building.

At work, I think one admin assistant from the executive floor and one from the legal department are actually flirting with me. I'm trying to flirt back, but that ain't pretty.

But that's just a lack of experience. I'm a quick learner.

See ya!

Update: Well, looks like it's time for a new video card. I'm about 6 chipsets behind. At least have have Battlestar Galactica 2.5 to keep me company. Sci-fi with hot babes and good writing. How much better can it get?

Well, yeah, there's that. And that. Oh and some of those. Plenty of that....

Further Update: Apparently I am now officially a Dirty Old Man.

Fall in 60 Seconds

Yup, we are now in the first, last and only week of Fall here in Cowtown. Biking to work will no longer be an alternative by the weekend. So I either drive, which ain't gonna happen at $20+ a day in parking; take the bus, which is basically "Get Exposed To Every Disease Known To Mankind for only $5 a Day" or walk, which means some days I freeze mah buh-toks off for 60 minutes a day.

Mah but-toks kin take 'er. Er, that's not exactly how I wanted that to sound. I know at least two of you thought of the phrase "squeal like a pig, boy!".

I am from Regina, but that's why I got out.

In other news, I saw a truck bearing the logo of the fine folks at Haliburton hurtling through traffic, side-swiping various vehicles and generally acting like he hit something and was trying to get away. Two minutes later a cop pulled a different guy over for running a stale yellow.

Sums it all up really.

So I'm considering moving in March or April. Again. But I'm not sure if it's across town or across country, depends on how the job goes. If it's okay, I just want a two-bedroom place so I can have an office again. And a dishwasher. And Secure parking. And hardwood floors and en suite washer and dryer. And new furniture to go with it. And, er, well, the usual thing. The other thing. Yup, that one.

And I am going to gym today if it kills me. Considering how long since it's been since I did a work out, it just might. Then someone else has to worry about moving my stuff, so there's that.

Capa, let's do lunch. You chatted when I was all grumpy, at least I can return the favor. Gotta get you ready for NaNoWriMo after all.

Update:Went to the gym. Ow. Rather masochistic actually, surrounded by beautiful women while while inflicting pain on myself.

This Doesn't Bode Well

Well, first day on the new team (officially) and I'm already worried. Not as much planning as strategy as I had thought (ie none). It's happening in a very haphazard way that stinks of management by decalration: managers declare "this is so" and expect it to be so without anyone actually doing anything about it.

I'm not pinning this on my new boss, but he is new to management and is very eager to please so is probably not pushing back when he should.

We'll see what happens over the next few days, but I feel like I just blasted a hole in a grate, jumped blindly through the opening and suddenly the walls are inching closer to each other.

Some escape this is.....

Oh, that's right...

I have a blog!

Well, the 'rents have all gone to their respective corners - I mean residences - and so ends another nutso weekend. Yeesh. I think I need a vacation. I know I need a vacation, who am I kidding.

Unfortunately that may prove to be a tad difficult. In addition to being a weekend of constant clock-chasing, it was also a drain on the wallet.

Plane ticket to Regina for Christmas: $480

Finally paying off my line of credit: $2014

Lightwave software (apparently Visa rejected the payment the first time around, for some odd reason) $1114

Renewal of security software: $66

Add to that my eyeball piercing later this year (~$2000) and we have a flaccid bank roll. And to think I was going to set some non-student, non-Ikea furniture later this month. Or a new video card. May have to settle with just a jumbo Toblerone.

This week should be a tad more sedate: with the past couple weeks running around, I haven't been to the gym more than twice, which means something like "I will pay for a workout Tuesday for a hamburger today" style of thing. But I do need to go, I have this body of a 25 year old to maintain. Okay, maybe 30. 37?

Okay, okay, shut up.

So. Tired.

Man I don't know why I'm so zapped. Can barely keep my eyes open, my back has been killing for days and I have no energy whatsoever. And now that I think about it, no appetite as well. I've been busy every night for over the past week (and the end results aren't much) and really need to get to the gym.

Just too damn tired.

It's perfect opportunity to write ... but I just can't keep my eyes open. Speaking of which, I need to watch an "informational DVD" on my impending eye surgery. Something tells me it would knock me right out.

So I went from mental torpidness to physical tiredness. Woo.

On the geek front, I highly recommend Wapsi Square. It's a Web Comic that started out as a bit of a soap opera, but the author has written in some very good characters and is dealing with some good psychological topics in mystical ways. Oh yeah, it's funny and the girls he draws are hot. That never hurts. Ever.

Lessee, what else. Parental invasion starts tomorrow, I have a play to go to, my brother is now 1/3 owner of the company he was laid off from and will be making 6 figures a year, my apartment sucks aaaaaand I already killed a plant.

Yup, excitement abounds. I hear my couch calling my name.

Oh yeah before I forget, I've been playing with trying to draw again (I was never any good) and stumbled on Drawspace. It's pretty good; I was doodling at lunch using some of the first lessons and already saw an improvement. Mind you that ain't hard for me. After reading some of the examples and lessons, my reaction was pretty much "Well duh!" but sometimes you need someone to point out the obvious.

Sleepy time now go noogie-blinkums. Yawn.

huh?

What the...

I Fear for my Brother's Life

My brother's girlfriend loaned my the DVDs for these.

Wow.

So this weekend, despite me trying to do nothing, has been busy from the get go: the family IT guy, shopping for stuff, buying plants (3 hours later they still live, generally a good sign). Also bought a toy: DVD/VHS combo. Principaly because my PS2 no longer recognizes movies plus I want to start recording some TV (namely the Daily Show and the Colbert Report). I did manage to help my brother buy a pretty top-of-the-line video card. Now I want one.

Lessee, what else. Probably the last nice weekend weather-wise, so I've been enjoying it. Mainly looking at girls. Hey, what didja expect me to do, get actual exercise.

Update: Well, from the smell in here Id say that the potting soil I got has a high pig-shit content. At least I hope its the potting soil.

Pssht. Right.

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining, Probably Acid Rain

Okay, okay, okay.

I can feel the deep blue funk turning into a sky-coloured, slightly shallower funk. Gotta getcher funk on, no matter what you feel.

I'm guessing the weather change may have had something to do with it. Weather affects me like that. I have a whole winter of chinooks and the accompanying migraines to look forward to. Woo.

Okay, okay, sorry. I'm thinking happy thought. You want plural, send me cash.

I am thoroughly enjoying Lego Star Wars: The Original Trilogy although I'm a tad disappointed that the "millions of combinations" you can put together to make your own Lego Star Wars Minifig doesn't use all the bricks of the characters, maybe a dozen or so. The rest are just the standard 16 colors. Other than that the only really bad thing I have to say is it's too damn short.

Hey Sony Online: make an MMO like this and you may actually beat World of Grindcraft in the market. Or at least get back some subscribers. What are the subscriptions up to now, 26, 28 accounts? Ya blew it, man...

Happy thought, happy thought....

So work is back to being just work instead of death in a cubicle, although I will sorely miss Big M as he is seconded to another group in a different office. It's gonna be damn quiet M. Your unique brand of seething rage will be missed.

Other than that, once again both of my parental units decided to come into town the same weekend, which is always full of fun, guilt, panic, fights over paying the bill etc. You know, the usual family get-together.

Once I get my eyes lasered I'm going to a beach dammit. I need a break. Hey that's a good thing, anger is better than depression. At least it's the Dark Side, not the Dreary Side.

I've also determined that if I ever get anyone into my bed again, they are going to realize that I pretty much a Wookie before I have my first cup of coffee: a lot of grunting noises, and the occasional ripping off of arms.

Maybe I need to lay off the Star Wars game for a bit....

Discombobulated

Another late update. Although I really don't have a schedule for these things, so late may be the wrong word. How does later than usual sound?

And yes folks, I forgot to post at Starting Write Now last week. Or rather I didn't have anything to post. I didn't write last week, so I didn't have anything to write about writing.

The reason behind that? Discombobulation. Combine 2 oz. of angst, 1 oz. of boredom, add a dash of self-pity and leave sitting on a counter for a while. Maybe I've been watching too much Tiki Bar lately. Obviously I haven't been drinking enough.

As happens when this, er, happens, my introspection has gone external. On one hand, I've been getting a particular statement from co-workers: I'm a natural-born troubleshooter. This is in relation to some (even more) changes at work, although this time my move is voluntary so hopefully something good comes out of it. Add to that the little bro saying that, in addition for we siblings to be all-or-nothing, we also thrive on pressure.

I'm undecided if that's a good or bad thing yet.

The other downer is, thanks to Capa and his wily ways, I came to the realization that I really don't have anything to look forward to for the first time in about 5 years. No trips planned, no classes etc. Laser eye surgery apparently doesn't count. So I need to get something planned for the near future to look forward to; what is a bit of a mystery, and how much does it cost a bit of a worry. The other other downer is I am officially pushing 40 as of this coming weekend, which is also the one-year anniversary of when I last, er, combobulated.

So there's that to look forward to....

Please note all, this is just a case of the doldrums, and thanks for your concern, I'll get over it. Buying me drinks may help though.

4 Out of 5 Dentists Agree: Couches Are Heavy

Yup, it's been a week. Up until yesterday, a boring week. Moving furniture is one of those mundane things until you actually drop a love seat on your feet. Then it's interesting until the swelling goes down.

The other interesting thing that happened in the past seven days is my coffee-maker spontaneously combusting yesterday morning. A pop, a sizzle then smoke. This is hard to deal with when you haven't had your first cup of coffee yet.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Coffee. You served nobly and well over the past 4 years. You were good 'til the last drop.

Other than that, it's been boring. Every little bit of it. Well, except for Sword of the Stars: I've been playing a tad too much of that.

Work: dull. Gym: dull. Moving brothers: painful and dull. Dull, dull, dull, dull, dull.

I may have shut my brain off as I am officially pushing forty in a couple of weeks. A mid-life crisis would be just what I need to get things interesting again.

Anyone know where I can pick up a sports-car penis replacement cheap?

Extreme Measures

Bonjour and all that. Yes it's been a while.

Some updates then. I went and bought Sword of the Stars which has been consuming all my time. Just finished a 25 hour game. Woo! Ow, my mouse hand hurts.

Also both brothers have officially moved and so I no longer have things to lift except my laundry. While not heavy, it is still hazerdous. I'll leave out the details.

In other news, I will not be moving to Toronto in the near future. Talking with my other brothers, we have a tendency to go all or nothing. While this has it's hazards, in this particular case I feel it isn't all that warranted. I do still need some big changes in my life, particularily getting a new job. So that's priority one. Resume is updated and distributed online this weekend, as well as some better filters on the job sites.

Other things I will be doing in the next while: laser eye surgery (obligatory fricken' lasers), purchase of 3D software and some non-ikea furniture. Although after the surgery and software I probably couldn't afford anything but Ikea.

So what about girls? I won't say I have given up because whenever I do people (Capa) that it sounds like I haven't. But I have, more out of frustration than anything. The internet is for porn, not dating. Never forget the fundamentals.

Oh yeah, I cancelled my land-line phone because of the half-dozen telemarketing calls a night. It's up for a month but won't be answering it at all. Man, that's annoying. However the girl I talked to at my phone provider said it's happening more and more lately. Maybe the phone-companies will wise up and try to stem the turgid flow of insipid advertising.

Nah.